The Many Deaths of Final Fantasy XIV

[Violyre]

Got a laugh out of this. Funny stuff.

Yay! Someone who found the thread for what it is!

[KikodeYusaku]

this is undoubtedly the best post i have ever read in the entire history of these forums i love you

[Morningstar1337]

Got some suggestions for the OP (please rephrase as you see fit. I'm sure I made some mistakes in emulating Fluttershy's style)

• The Introduction of Glamour: In patch 2.2, players now have the ability to wear anything* (that their class can equip) they want. "Now how are we supposed to tell Jobs apart?" cried the people dressed in subligars like they were going to a BDSM convention. "Prisms are too expensive" yelled the peasants with only 1000 gil to their name. "They are gonna prioritize this over the actual content" claimed people in Allagan gear. Many players quit the game at this point, causing SE to take the servers offline because the game was no longer profitable.
• 1 Prism, not 5: Patch 3.4 changed things so that players only need 1 prism of the appropriate type to change that level i250 chest piece into an i1 dress or an i100 suit of mail instead of needing two prisms of different grades for both. "Now how I will I make money?" cried crafters that didn't get Melded Ironworks gear. Many players quit the game at this point, causing SE to take the servers offline because the game was no longer profitable.
• Dyable Replicas: Players are now able to get dyable versions of the gear form the Coils of Bahamut (sans Dreadwyrm Weapons)...by crafting. "Now any scrub can just buy dyable Coil gear!" cried raiders. "They should had just made the original gear dyable!" yelled people with a mix of common sense and entitlement. "This is just a way crafters can fleece us out of hard earned gil." claimed the cheapskates. Many players quit the game at this point, causing SE to take the servers offline because the game was no longer profitable.
• Accursed Dyable Replicas: The inclusion of the Accursed Hoard and with it several sets of crafted glamour gear up to and including the Dreadwyrm replicas enabled players to get them more easily/ "First the prisms now this?" cried middling crafters upset at their continued irrelevance. "Now our special gear is gonna be worn by even more plebians!" claimed raiders still not over the sting of the fact that replicas exist instead of the normal and untradable raid drops just being made dyable. Many players quit the game at this point, causing SE to take the servers offline because the game was no longer profitable.

:^) (Seriously I can see people getting mad at the inclusion of glamour or glamor-related aspects)

[Voltyblast]

More than deaths, these feel more like questionable choices than anything: other mmorpgs tend to do a lot of things wrong too but the feeling when I play FFXIV is a sensation of "overcomplicating things because we must". Just think of Glamour: why did we need 5 grades for 8 types of prisms just so we can glamour? Why can't be an npc just like every game (which would make a perfect gil sink)? Oh because crafters won't have anything to do? Not my problem! Other crafters in most games have at least a reason to be there but it seems like glamour is the endgame for crafters.

Although my biggest deal of all is the 45 days reclaim for housing: that was their choice that literally split my friendships apart. I was so happy to have bought mine during 2.4, I worked so hard to gain that money and when I got it I felt so rewarded, so happy. But now? Oh you dare to take a break for more than 45 days? Shame on you, I guess you aren't worth to keep this house! And sadly even my "friends" (mind the quotes) said that I was a selfish prick for attempting at defending my hard earned house, resulting in me being alone since HW came out. Good riddance I say. But oh well, if they only allowed me to get my 80% refund by actually making me demolishing it (why only after 45 days? seriously why...), I'll gladly unworth myself and move my unworthy money to another unworthy game.

My SWTOR house is still there, waiting for me after my yearly pause <3

[Esp]

I just stumbled onto this post, and even though it's 2 years old, this is probably the best post I have seen yet. I couldn't mash the like button fast enough. Thank you xD

[Xlantaa]

Welcome to the internet. People need rage for all. A lot of people is still convinced this game is dying. Fun thing, every day at log, I always get the message "This server is full" with poeple in the queue to enter. I don't think this game is dead at all, just some poeple need repeat it to make their argument valid "This game suck, is dying because blabla"

I will add one more to you list, but htis time is a prediction (like the other deads anyway):


46: On November 2016, at EEUU fan-fest, a new expasion was announced! "Yes, SHE IS DANCER, but... wait, why is she fightning like a monk?" Well nevermind, people waited for the inteview, and Yoshi-P stated a lof of things and features that will come with new expasion. The best o of the best players that always are RIGHT and their opinion is the ABSOLUTE true claimed "THis is a bullshit, it is a Heavensward in disguise, we will get the same bored progression, same bored dungeons, the same bored primals and the stupid item level gear system. This Game is not like FFXI and is bad because WE SAY IT and everyone will quit!!" So, cause this, many players WILL quit the game at this point, causing SE to take the servers offline because the game will be no longer profitable.

47: Extra Rage: NO NEW (Viera) RACEEEEE, BURN IN HELL SQUARE!!!!!


Sorry, I am not good like you at humor :S But I had to say it.

I know where is the door, thanks.

[ZhaneX]

"Yes, SHE IS DANCER, but... wait, why is she fightning like a monk?"

I am totally expecting this to happen. Some people already mutter it, but it's mostly drowned out by the "SHE'S TOTALLY NOT A DANCER!" stuff. So in the event she does turn out to be a Dancer, I can totally see people accusing their apparent style of just being a Monk-clone being the next popular subject of rage.

Fun times ahead to be sure.

[Violyre]

I herd u liek red fenrirs

46. Pet vs Pet: A glorious Feast awaited those that harvested their enemies! Every season, a new Feast would begin, and prizes rewarded to the most bloodthirsty players. In the third season, one of the rewards shocked those who didn't want to participate in killing their fellow players! A tiny Fenrir, stained in the blood of the Feast, was put up as a reward. But worse than that, only 20 players per data server would have this adorable pup! "But I want to catch 'em all!" cried the playerbase, red and white balls in hand. "Let the PvPers have something unique to them!" roared the savages. Many players quit the game at this point, causing SE to take the servers offline because the game will be no longer profitable.

47. Pet vs Pet, Pt. 2: SE noticed a sharp decline in their active subscriptions after people took issue with a rare, PvP only pet. Attempting to salvage and regain subscriptions, they announced "lol jk, we gunna give it to u in 3.5 but Feast people get it early." As always, uproar happened. "Seriously? Just going to screw over dedicated PvPers by bowing to stupid demands?" complained the PvPers, who really should be happy that scrublord PvE players aren't messing up their win trades. A tiny amount of players quit the game at this point, because how many actually competitive PvPers actually play, causing SE to shrug their shoulders and go "close enough."

[Yasuhiro]

24. Lightning Strikes Out: To celebrate the return of a certain time and possibly dimension hopper from the Final Fantasy XIV world, an event was created in the Final Fantasy XIV world, which brought Lightning Farron to the world. "This event breaks lore! bellowed the in-depth lore readers, who haven't heard the phrase "we should do it just for the hell of it." "Quit forcing your Mary Sue on us!" cried the people who didn't find the deepness in Lightning's storyline. Many players quit the game at this point, causing SE to take the servers offline because the game was no longer profitable.

The absolute mad woman then came back two more times to kill the game.
How does she get away with it? and on the topic of cross over characters, Shantotto and Dragon Quest mobs also came to pee on FFXIV's grave.

[Spawnie]

Holy great wall of text batman!!!!!!