Gear at lvl 60//Materia Melding

[Nekotee]

As ashelia said weapon damage is absolute for the weapon (except for healer and caster with less impact)

As for your (1)

Either you want pure damage or VIT it's the same
A full VIT oriented stuff
There is no way and no argument for a tank to take STR acc
Any tank who do that is wrong (thank to the 3.2 patch byregot god bless it !)

Any sane healer will refuse to heal a Str tank with low Vit meld
Nop

(2)
Start gathering lore and eso tome now
Do the void ark
Melding is a confort if you don't have 240 yet so only IV materia not V

(3)
Right now the Quick Arm V is the biggest one available
But be careful with skillspeed
You need to know ho much you want and not having g too much
Or you will end up TP dry in no time