Who did you play with? That is odd. I was a SMN main in FFXI since release (2003) I got my WHM up to 60 fairly quickly and then did the lv65 avatar fights. In end game on my SMN I did sub WHM but never touched the spells, only sneak and invis to get to the camp. My LS leaders had me do damage...always. I was put in a PT with a brd and rdm and had my pet out all the time with my AF2 (I got the full set very quickly,w as lucky lol)
The only "healing" I did on SMN was in EXP PT. in end game it was always damage, damage, damage. I played with JP/NA mix and we did a lot of world firsts and fought all the hard stuff. Bringing a SMN to heal in end game was a very mediocre thing to do. WHM was far superior. I am not defending FFXI SMN, I do not want that in this game either, but that is just absurd. Sure, now and then I would throw a Cure if someone went in the red but that wasn't too often unless playing with bad players...
The only micromanaging I do is put Garuda on obey...and Ifrit is left on auto. From what I am told I am always top damage dealer by our raid leader and we've gotten many clears. Lol Summoner has very little pet managing to do. The main focus is the upkeep of dots, trance and what not. Nothing to do with pets...which makes no sense, seeing how in 1.x the player poll wanted a PET CLASS the most. This is NOT a pet class, it is a dot class.
What I wouldn't mind having is Aion's spirit master. The pet's would evolve, were a pretty decent size, and the Spirit Master themselves had dots too..but the main and powerful attacks came from the pet. It was a good balance, at least when I played it was.