Post Your Tanking Horror Stories!

[Februs]

Snip

I'm totally with you on this. I am accustomed to running with an FC healer who can't seem to let me die no matter how dumb my pulls get, so I always assumed that maybe, just maybe, I was overdoing the pulls in the Vault a little ... and then I healed it for myself.

The first time I healed the Vault I was still wearing a lot of Ironworks gear. I barely met the ilvl to get in, and I really did not see what all the fuss was about. Don't get me wrong, I am not an experienced healer either. Far from it. The hallway pull was definitely taxing on my Mp bar, but I still pulled it off. No one died, despite the fact that the tank was most certainly not optimizing their mitigation skills. Shortly after that run, I actually had to paper tank my way through that same hallway (the tank Dc'd). Me, and the two Dps, went all the way from the first boss room to the second boss room without a tank. Let me tell you, that was a horror story all on it's own, and I posted it in the healer forums, but still no one died. If a piss poor healer like me can do it, I'm really not sure why so many of them complain about that particular dungeon.

I can understand when you get a tank who is pants-on-head stupid and refuses to use any mitigation skills, because that's just a tremendous waste of your mp, but if the Tank is using adequate Defensive CD's, then it really should not be a problem.

[Astrelle_hyperion]

Feature request: let us glamour pants onto head slot

[Kaeoni]

The Sunken Temple of Quarn:

Dps not knowing their ABC's and 123's + Bees = OH GEEZ!

[SoloNightlock]

That moment in thordan ex where the astro thats letting u die to auto attacks manages to somehow put out enough overheal during thordans lb to rip hate off u so well that you can't even get it back with a voke da powerslash.

[BrokenFox]

The Sunken Temple of Quarn:

Dps not knowing their ABC's and 123's + Bees = OH GEEZ!

90% of the time my party wipes to Doom on the first boss, even after explaining it

It's basically tradition now

[Fernosaur]

That moment in thordan ex where the astro thats letting u die to auto attacks manages to somehow put out enough overheal during thordans lb to rip hate off u so well that you can't even get it back with a voke da powerslash.

Are you me? ARE WE THE SAME PERSON?

[SuperGandhi]

Worst Tanking Horror story;
Patch 3.2

[Grey_D94]

This little story just happened no more than about an hour ago. Stone Vigil Hard Mode, PUG from a Duty Roulette. Wanted to get it done and over with pretty quickly before the night was over as I'd just returned home from a hang night with a couple friends. Rather sleepy after all the fun, but I wanted to log in and get some stuff done; too bad I ended up bringing a (comparatively) short fuse with me into this Roulette.

For a bit of context, I'm an ilvl178 WAR, my teammates are a level 60 BLM, a level 50 NIN, and a level 60 WHM. The WHM and BLM both prolly had their ilvls somewhere between 160-180, as well, as I didn't see a lick of i200 gear on them. Nonetheless, this seems like it'd make a party far, far, FAR above what would be needed to pass this content (oh, if only the gear had been the problem).

So the dungeon starts, the BLM says he's never been through here before. The WHM and I assure them it's simple stuff, as we both had experience here. The NIN didn't say anything at this time, stayed quiet as we started carving our way through the first trash mobs. We get to the boss room and I start trying to explain the mechanics to the BLM, only for our WHM to go BALLS DEEP into the YOLO zone and aggro the boss as I'm mid-typing.

>nosquishynoooo.jpeg

Scrap the rest and jump in after him, pulling aggro back and starting to direct Gorynich away from the rest and into his cozy little corner to the Southwest. Next thing to happen? Adds. Those adorable little bastards you just wanna hug until their eyeballs pop out. As per formula, they target the healer, and not long after this, Gorynich goes into his Dr. Swinge-love mode. Now, I won't lie. I fucked up. I completely forgot that the adds detonate into AoEs when they die, and that, if they die within range of Gorynich, they buff his scaly hide. But I do have a good reason for the resulting trouble of a buffed up, already roided-out, dragon; and that may or may not be the fact that I had a Healer who was staying nearly within grabbing distance of my butt (and not just the tail, either). So, fearing for the well-being of my little @$$ gremlin, I killed as many adds as I could while holding aggro on Gorynich.

We came out on top on our first try, though. Simple fight, easy stuff, a couple Swinges to the face, but that wasn't the cherry on this little cake (but it did happen to be the frosting). Next up, as you know, was Cuca Fera. The thought of getting behind a cannon again would be fun. Oh yes, firing cannon balls at a 30-foot tall prickly dragon would be a perfect way to make this run better. We get to the barrier leading out to the boss arena, where I stopped to explain the mechanics to our BLM (no, the WHM didn't run out like a fool this time, but he did get behind the Southwest cannon pretty immediately). To sum up my little lesson to the guy, it was basically "get to a cannon", "watch your buddies on your left and right", and "use stun ONLY on AoE".

Fight begins, BLM is in the Southeast, I'm on the Northwest, aaand the NIN starts running around like his head's chopped off. No cannon. Knives at the ready. The boss lands 2 feet behind the guy and knights start swarming it, to which the three of us are planting our Iron Kisses WITH ALMIGHTY AFFECTION. So explosions are going off all around the NIN, he's got a boss right next to him, and he doesn't seem to know what to do. 1 minute, 30 seconds into the fight, "what do i do".

>ohshitwtfbbq.jpg

Emphasis on the barbecue, as the adds begin showing up not long after. NIN is running around doing his thing, not really surviving so much as he's flailing about like a wacky waving inflatable tube man. With knives. Half the damage he starts taking, I'm half hoping he's doing to himself at this point. The WHM is on my right, getting swarmed by adds while I'm trying to save the NIN on my left and our BLM was not doing jack to help the WHM. Things are a clusterfudgesicle at this point, but hey, dragons win. GG.

We respawn and go over the strategy once more for our NIN, who actually responds this time, and go back to the boss room. He mounts the Northeast cannon while everyone else takes the same spots we were in last time. Time for round 2, gentlemen! So the barrage begins, and we're firing like maniacs. I'm watching the WHM on my right and NIN to my left as I aim my shots and keep them add-clean. Wait, why are there adds coming at me? Why am I getting attacked? Okay, sure, I'll be fine. That WHM knows what he's doing even if we have a brainless NIN. WHY AM I GETTING HIT STILL?!

>lazyassgrabbers.docx

Welp, I hop off my machine and start defending myself like a right gentleman should; WITH AN AXE. Except this gentleman's health is dropping. Fast. Where's my suppo-WHY IS THE HEALER GETTING OVERRUN?! BLM do something-who am I kidding? We wiped for that, too. Spawn time, again. We picked ourselves up, got back to the boss room. Set numbers over our heads to distinguish the order in which we'll stun shot the boss. Reminded them to check their left and right, help their allies. Get back to positions, same ones. And this time, we work at it, things start going well. BLM is watching the WHM on his left, I'm keeping track of the NIN to my left. We stun a couple times, even without me getting anyone to cover me from adds. It gets to the next guy's turn, and we eat the Stomp.

What the hell?! Whose turn is it?! "BLM's turn." WELL WHERE IS HE?! "Dead." Turns out, adds had overtaken him and he didn't get any support from NIN or WHM. Sad part, he was the first to go. I get off my machine because more adds are coming and I can't handle them all. WHM gets off their cannon to come help me out, and I manage to clean up the adds, but NIN dies in the period that I'm off my cannon. Boss is down to 22%, I hop back on my cannon and start kissing the rotten prick with one cannonball after another. Adds are gathering up at my feet again. I still have a good bit of health, but instead of shooting them, WHM gets off his cannon and starts coming to heal me, gaining their aggro. Thinking I could just finish off the boss (now at 13%), I continue my barrage. 7%, WHM is dead and adds are coming back at me from across the room, where he'd died. I get the boss down to 2%, but the adds have swarmed me by now, and I decide it's time to get the hell outta Dodge. I get off the cannon and run up to the boss, watching my numbers drop bit by bit.

Holmgang. 6 sweet seconds in which my health drops to 1 and stays there while I'm going ham on the boss (all of a Heavy Swing and a Skull Sunder). Infuriate > Inner Beast. 1%. Holmgang's out. I'm dead. Sit there for a good minute just pissed. I respawn with the group. Someone suggests we abandon. No movement started. I try to start it. Gets declined.

"You people won't listen. F*ck all of you. You won't help each other, you won't help me."

> Leave party.

Sit here. Make a post. Mild regret.

[Anzer]

Stone Vigil:
Zone in and greet everyone, get various "Hello"s back. No Protect, but I've heard that people don't consider it necessary until 50+ content, so I roll with it. Pull the first pack, a drake and 2 little guys so I can get a feel for the group. We're doing decent damage, then I realize my health isn't going back up. I pop a couple CDs thinking maybe my healer is just DPSing and will get back to me soon. Nope...pop Holmgang, Thrill, Second Wind; the Drake drops, the little guys are starting to go down. Things wear off and I splat. I rez at the start and run back in to clean up so the DPS don't suffer my fate.

We wait around for ~2minutes. "Lol, sorry guys, was getting a drink". No worries, it happens, I probably should have done a ready check or something before I pulled. Everyone laughs and we start moving.

Next pull, Established enmity, things are looking good! Splat. "Sorry about that, my timing was a little off". Hey, no biggie, I just wiped my party on my previous dungeon (Dzemael Darkhold first time. We had no problem with any of the bosses, but those damned frogs...), so I'm not too salty about it. We rez and get back into it.

Next pull is going OK, get an extra drake on patrol, pop a couple CD to lower incoming damage...splat. "Oh man, my timing is off right now, I'm so drunk!". Was that what I sacrificed myself for at the beginning of this run, then? This is going to be a joy.

Sorry for the long story...We manage to 1-shot each boss, but I died at least once getting to each one. There were a couple times I tried smaller pulls, but the BLM wasn't having any of that and would round up the entire room for me. Thanks guy.

So yeah, that was (so far) the scariest horror story I have, which doesn't compare too much to a lot of these stories here.

[ElodinStoncleft]

Did an Aurum Vale run with 2 BLM me as WAR and i wish to hell i was kidding but a god damn lvl 49 Conjurer....
I ask the dude you got WTM?
His response was to deal with it.....
SO very carefully we work our way through the first room with the conjurer spam healing so hard i though the poor dude was going to have an aneurysm but we make it to the first boss after what seemed like forever.
we go in and the thrice cursed bastard couldn't heal for more then 500 on a crit he ate everyones fruit and then died after running head first into a swing
With the boss at 40% hp the 2 BLM go hero mode and rotate healing between the 2 of them while i just lost it and started DPS for all my worth we killed the boss
then after all this shit the dude had the balls to bitch at me for pulling the boss onto him....
so i vote kicked his ass in an instant.
i aint going to deal with it