How do many of you feel about helping?

[Iromi]

I have no problem helping people! However, after a full try (i think what is it..1.5 hr?) and it is clear we cannot win after I patiently give them tips and advice, that is usually when it seems hopeless and I say nice try guys and thanks etc.

[Malicewolf]

See? That is selfish. You do it for your own merit. I do it too. I help randoms I will never see again, be it in Duty Finder or doing some random FATE I stumble upon. Because later I feel nice.
If you want to give your utter best you will do things that you find dreadful. So the guy who didn't want to do Thornmarch is a) not a helper b) not as thankful as he should be c) selfish as all of us other motherduckers
If I help someone by giving them 2h of my time, then it would be nice if they did the same for me. If they don't, then that tells more about them than me, now doesn't it?
The point being, which I find quite obvious now, is that people are selfish, and always will be. They are even selective helpers. I will do it if I feel like doing it and/or it has a benefit.

No, it's not selfish, it's actually the opposite... it's selfless. Just because you get joy from helping others doesn't make you selfish because you're fulfilling your own happiness in the process.

As for the person in question, I wouldn't say he was wrong necessarily to turn down the request. But not because I don't think he "owed" something. But instead, if he DOESN'T like the run, guess what? He probably doesn't know it well and OBVIOUSLY isn't very good at it. Otherwise, he wouldn't mind it. So by turning the person down, he honestly probably did him a favor. Extreme modes require everyone to be on point. And to do Thornmarch Ex with 3 people (as the poster said he was trying to complete it with only 2) is a hard feat. Some advice my father gave me long ago and has stuck with me.
"Don't ever give what you're not willing to part with without return."
Now this advice was specifically in terms of money, but I think it can be applied with time as well. If I choose to do something, I will do so because I am willing to. Not because I expect to get something back out of it in return from them. If they do happen to do so, great, that's an awesome perk. But I won't hold someone hostage for my choice to help them.

[Kaurie]

No, it's not selfish, it's actually the opposite... it's selfless. Just because you get joy from helping others doesn't make you selfish because you're fulfilling your own happiness in the process.

I already saw this episode of Friends.

[MeiUshu]

@Syrin You fail to see the difference between giving without expecting anything in return and giving with in the back of the mind the notion of repayment which is much what you fall into. Also, to help you must be effective if my helping you is going to make your day sad i will not do it not because of me but because of you, i care enough not to impose a nightmare on you, maybe learning some nuances wouls nake you some good. It will come with experience i suppose

[Leowilde]

I'll fight with a group who wipe with good mood any day, before a perfect group who talk other people down.

[Lethallin]

I usually help people. But some people you can't help.

Yesterday, went into a leveling roulette with my WHM. Got into Stone Vigil.

Tank was a Gladiator. Oh boy.

So, just protected, stoneskinned, and watched what would happen. The DPSers seemed to be hesitant as well. The Tank (Mr Ducksworth, I believe) approached the first pack, used every single cooldown that they had (including tempered will), and then inched towards the mobs. Most of the buffs were gone before he engaged.

His first move? Rage of Halone. Second? Rage of Halone. He used nothing but Rage of Halone in combat.

So while tanking the to adds and keeping up the other DPS that was holding the mob he was Rage of Haloneing, I said into chat "Please use Flash to hold the mobs". We eventually killed them all, him still using RoH every cooldown. Second pull got 2 dragons from the next room, and I just couldn't keep myself alive.

Everyone ressed, and I started talking in chat, saying that I'd be happy to help him out. The DPS said similar. Was completely ignored, and the tank just ran off to die again. We kicked him. There's no way to help someone who refuses to interact with the party.

I felt bad, but what can you do in a situation like that? You can only help those willing to be helped.

[Cynric]

Is constant wipes enough for you to stop helping PUGs? I try to help as much as I can until a party is completely empty or people are tired of trying. Even if I have everything from a piece of content I want to win and help just as much as people who are clearing for the first time. I really enjoy helping people get through content.

Does people who do more joking that fighting make you stop? Joking helps make runs less boring or tedious. It can be a good way to blow off steam if you've been doing a fight for over an hour so I don't really see it as a reason to stop helping at all.

Are you the type who leave at the sign of "bonus" popping on the screen? I like seeing the bonus pop up because it lets me know someone may need an explanation. If it doesn't pop up I assume everyone should more or less know what they're doing. The only thing I dislike about seeing the bonus is that people are very reluctant to actually admit to being the person with a bonus. It won't make me leave but it will let me know what to expect during a random run.

[Iagainsti]

I live off bonuses to poetry and law, saves me from running alex constantly. I'm the go to in our fc for new players to unlock their lvl 50 roulette. Ill do all 17 runs unsynced in a row. This game, like FFXI, for me has always been about community, progression for me sits on the back burner. I've seen A3S, still have yet to complete, but again I've never farmed savage or coil for that matter, being the type to beat it, leave it for personal gain, and only revisit to help others get their clears. That said, your OP fits me, helper, don't get much help, not that I need it ;D, but I get the satisfaction of no one in my FC being gated from content due to missing clears. Again the poetry/ law bonuses are real. Just Helping 1 member clear garuda ex-Shiva ex is 700 poetry for maybe 60 mins of work.

[Iagainsti]

I already saw this episode of Friends.

dying xD

/10char

[thunderbreak]

I've been helping people since launch, the real question is "How do you feel about RECEIVING help?"

The ones like me know what I'm talking about.