there's a lot of sensitive people in this game

[Musashidon]

if the healer didn't want to dps then that's final. it's the players call not yours.

[lxChrisxl]

if the healer didn't want to dps then that's final. it's the players call not yours.

didn't push it on them. saying "holy?" once isn't pushing anything on anybody. all they had to do was say no, not comfortable or any other way of no. instead i got nothing and a kick. there's no defensive for them

if a healer isn't going to use cleric stance i'd like them to tell me so i'm not wasting my time with foe's

[Themis]

if a healer isn't going to use cleric stance i'd like them to tell me so i'm not wasting my time with foe's

What you can do is look to see if they use Clerics. If they do, then you can pop Foe's as a response. If they don't, then don't cast it and you haven't wasted any time at all.

The problem may be the way it comes across, too. Saying "Holy?" makes it sound expectant, as if saying "why aren't you using Holy?". And no one should be expecting anything but the player doing their job (and a healer's job is to heal; dps healers are a bonus not a requirement). Instead, you could have said "Do you feel comfortable using Holy/DPSing a bit and I'll put up Foe's for more damage?". It sounds a lot better.