I'm no bard expert, but I'm enjoying it enough to make it my secondary job. I've been going by party makeup and just paying attention to who is what, what they're doing, whats around and who's MP is suffering.
I usually use Mage's Balled when I see the healers at about 50% MP (and sometimes summoners or paladins when I notice them flashing the daylights out of things to hold hate) - or right after I hear the Raise sound (being a WHM main, I know how much of a dent that makes in MP). I'll do it for SMN also if I see them low on MP or see/hear them Raise.
I use Foe's Requiem if there are a lot of casters.... generally more than one (and <3 if there are multiple BLMs in my group or in alliances)
I don't use Army's Paeon/TP song much, to be honest, unless someone asks for it or I myself am running low on TP (which, I take that as an indication that others may need it, too). I generally play this in raids (CT) during the trash pulls when everyone and their mothers and brothers are AoEing (and as I am, spamming Rain of Death, Wide Volley and Quick Knock (when it's suddenly TP-free thanks to RoD). I'll switch out for Foe's if there are a lot of casters in the alliances or Mage's if the healers are obviously struggling.
Swiftsong I just use if there are multiple people lagging behind the rest of the party (I'll play, then pause till the others are in song range to help them catch up) such as in Praetorium, etc or just the general 'move the party from point A to point B faster'.
While we're on the topic of songs, I have a question also. I was in a DF for Titan HM - we had 2 ninja and 2 bards (myself included). I played the MP song often, as the SCHs were raising a lot (once you get weakness in Titan...... you're done for... multiple times x.x) but I noticed the other bard playing Foe's - though we had no casters. The only thing I could think of were for the Ninja's mudras. I was confused at first, but it slowly sunk in (not much time to think in that fight). So I'm assuming the mudras are considered elemental and are effected by that (I think I kind of answered my own question, but oh well)? Second question that I thought had been answered a while back, but second guessing - are SMN/SCHs Ruin/Ruin II affected by Foe's also? (I thought I saw someone say it did boost Ruin's damage, but that was a while back and I'm not aware of an element on Ruin... being that it's 'unaspected')



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