Since last night, they changed the wording on the site as shown above to clearly say the quest will be downgraded. IMO, the new wording is still terrible and ambiguous, though it is probably better than the old wording.The page (and the quest itself) say that the ceremony will be downgraded if your partner doesn't buy the same plan that you do. And for the ceremony, that makes sense. After all, you can't really have the two players getting different ceremonies when they marry each other.
For the items on the other hand, neither of those is true. It makes no sense for one player's items to be based on what their partner did or didn't buy. Nor does the site indicate that it will happen. If somebody pays for the platinum wedding items, then they're entitled to actually receive those platinum wedding items that they paid money for.
(The links below are sadly outdated. I hope to get around to updating things at some point.)
Desynthesis Guide: http://tinyurl.com/ffxivdesynth
Airship Guide: http://tinyurl.com/ffxivairshipguide (\v/) Airship Quick Reference: http://tinyurl.com/ffxivairshipqr
Airship Logsheet: http://tinyurl.com/ffxivairshiplog (/|\) Airship Builder Tool: http://tinyurl.com/ffxivairshipbuilder
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