OP,
You said yourself you enjoy playing the game at your own pace and leasure, which is perfectly fine. But you can't expect to do that and have the game's progression slow enough to get BiS at that same pace. This is two different playstyles.
---There are lots of tools in place to boost and gear a role to be able to participate in current content with each patch for those that do take their time. (Echo, CT, Myth/Soldiery)
---And there is ilevel raises and new gear for those that ever want the best pieces here and now.

For most vet players 6months between ilevel raises is already long, for new players and slow pacers everything prior to the actual best is easily obtainable in a matter of a few hours in a couple weekends.