Am I being elitist? Honest question.

[Purrfectstorm]

You've presented your perspective in a pretty favorable light. It would be hard for any reasonable person to suggest you did anything wrong in the situation you described. Anyone would have to agree that you were in the right... and that's what this thread seems to about rather than trying to get at the truth.

Stories have two sides and tone matters a lot. There's: "I've noticed you haven't been using Shadow Flare" and "WTF you no use Shadow Flare!"

That aside, some people have inner critics - that voice that says "Did I do something wrong here?" That could be you.

And some people have inner defenders - that voice that says "I didn't do anything wrong! It was the other person!" And that could be you also.

Either way, both things are signs of insecurity and I think that your posting about it on a forum is evidence that one of these two things is true. Consider a more balanced way of looking at things: You were well-meaning and, for whatever reason, the other person took it wrong, not necessarily because they're a stubborn jerk who refuses to learn. Perhaps the way you worded your advice put them on the defensive, or maybe they're insecure about their own play skills and their own inner defender was acting up.

At any rate, talking with them more about this seems like the way to go rather than asking others to judge a situation they can really only know one side of anyway. Ultimately it comes down to whether the other person's relationship matters to you. If it doesn't, just move on with your life. If it does, talk to them, let them know you're sorry if you came off a certain way (maybe they've been abused a lot by this community and their defenses were up), assure them that you just wanted to be helpful, etc.

And one last note, it's good to have those types of conversations 1-on-1. Maybe this was the problem with the first conversation also? I know I might be embarrassed if someone corrected my play in front of a group (especially if there were strangers in that group). Context is important. For that reason, I would wait to correct someone's play also. Trying to correct it right in a duty when frustration is mounting is bound to lead to misinterpretation.

[Mirakumi]

....

I do often question myself a lot - I hate being the bad guy in situations. But I also want the run to go smoother and people to progress. [But not to the point where we have to jump right away back into 2nd coil again.] I'll try to have a 1 on 1 conversation with X person. I've also emphasized in the LS many times that they are free to do extremes with each other and not always with me. But they wait for me all the time. >.<

I guess my relationship matters to this person because they are currently the head mafia of the server if you would get my drift. They merged with 3 other FCs. So I feel like having my name being slammed by the main FC leader is not ideal. Besides I've already been getting into some groups and people I hardly even know will ask me, "Hows that solo healer myth of yours coming along."

/sighs.