Here is to answer your questions:
1. Order truly doesn't matter besides the linear progression of gear WP gear > AK gear > Darklight > Myth/Allagan.
2. There aren't any "caps" per say, but there are for like Coil, certain stats you must have, especially as Tanks and DPS. And to counter harkinate - why would weapon dmg be a priority for a healer? It doesn't effect heals. I get what you mean, but if you don't have your Relic/+1 before entering Coil, you're wrong. Also, all your Mind stats will come from your gear, even if you craft it, you can't meld with main stat.
Stat Priority should be - Crit -> Det (only see DR with DPS, not heals) -> Spell Speed
3. Yes it's nice to level another class or all the classes to Lv. 50. One, you'll get the Cross Class abilities (which you only need THM (26) and CNJ (34). But just so you have utility. THOUGH! If you are not a hardcore type of player I would stick to a single class for end game.
4. You can solo heal up to Titan HM.

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