Quote Originally Posted by Raminax View Post
More news at 11, on Eorzea News Network, your go-to station for all things new and fresh.
The Eorzean Alliance is threatening to face shutdown tonight as the Ampador Stimulus Plan For Working Adventurers goes into effect. While the Twin Adders claim the bill is necessary to keep 'dirty adventurers away from [their] trees', the Syndicate have gone on record to state that poor adventurers should 'pull themselves up by their subligars the way the Twelve intended: dying for our amusement in the gladiator pits'. The Malestrom has declined to comment, but Admiral Merlwyb was overheard stating that 'this wouldn't be happening if we just keelhauled the buggers like I bloody suggested.' Ishgarde also could not be reached, our reporter's chocobo being mistaken for a dragon, and the bird and its rider were swiftly shot.