It's simply a matter of managing expectations. I've been through dozens of MMO launches; the big ones are always like this, and the forums are always raging thusly. And I get it - it is frustrated, and you have a right to expect more since you're investing time and money in this product.
For me, however, I enjoy the game, and I'm willing to suffer through the growing pains, as I have with other MMOs. I do wish they would add a legitimate login queue; asking players to repeatedly ping the server with login requests isn't good for the customer, and it isn't good for the infrastructure either.

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