You sir have also never been an MMO launch.
I can tell because there have been plenty that have launched successfully.
Actually; LOTS that have launched successfully.
And you can't just poke your head in on WoW and go "Yep, they had issues; that's the standard." FALSE!
Go look around the real world for real launches.
Hell, FFXI had few to no problems at all at launch. The Xbox360 launch was a disaster, but the PC/PS2 launch was nearly flawless.
Let's go a little deeper: Lord of the Rings Online had few problems during launch. They had one issue where overcrowding in the New Player area caused the servers to go down, but they were back up 15 minutes later. I think that might've happened three or four times in a single day; but a 15 minute response time is spot-on!
Dungeons and Dragons Online had very few problems at launch. Some of the models were a bit buggy and there was some coding issues with ladders and other spots where people were getting stuck (mostly because they were buffing their Jump skill ridiculously high and were getting into areas where there were no floors and falling through the map).
Holy Beast; a little not-well-known MMO came and went without a sound. Cute little game. 0 problems and very few bugs. Closed its doors last year.
City of Heroes; went over reasonably well. Never played it because I wasn't interested, but heard good things.
DC Universe Online; the Launch went great! The game, unfortunately, sucked. There were a few issues with logon passwords and they had not implemented an easy way to unlock your account should you mess up your password too many times. You had to call during their support hours of Monday between 3am and 3:01am from a Verizon phone missing the 9 key colored pink and tethered to a Dodge Ram dangling from the Empire State Building while swallowing a flashlight.
SWTOR: I never had problems with the launch of SWTOR. Not sure what soe many people were talking about.
Dissentia: Little-known browser-based MMO. Fun to play. Came and went but never any problems.
Tera: Tera's launch was also pretty good. Got a little crowded on "newbie island" and monsters were not respawning fast enough for people, but otherwise no issues until AFTER the game was out for two weeks.
Star Trek: F**K THIS GAME! It's launch was good, but the game was such a piece of disappointing CRAP! UGH! I wanted to like it but sucked the big one. It didn't suffer from server issues but launched without having all of what it promised out the door. Other than the severe lack of promised content and the absurd lack of a Z-axis IN SPACE kind of ruined it for a lot of people.
Square Enix has run out of excuses. They know how to do a good launch because they've done it before. If you're a professional chef and have made Fettuccine Alfredo time and time again, but you quit your last restaurant and went to the grand opening of a new one and suddenly your pasta is hard and dry and your sauce is runny... Oh, it's okay. It's just the restaurant's first day and all. No. No Excuse.
You sir, are the half-wit. Enjoy your day.