If I remove someone off my Friend List, it should remove me off theirs too

[Merrnryn]

I fear the data center travel. I know many who had felt the need to transfer to escape abusers. Once it is implemented... Abusers will have an access all area pass to their victims.

[Eross]

I agree with the statement. I've been harrassed myself and changing the character name wouldn't be enough since I still have been on my oppressors' list and they managed to TP to not only my own house but also followed me to my FC's place. Had to change DC for my health and safety, loosing many good friendships by that. In addition to this, being thrown all alone between the strangers isn't the best experience also.

SE really should reconsider the friendlist system and how does it work.

[Penthea]

I know of someone who was extremely upset when they found that unfriending someone didn't prevent them from teleporting to their house, and they found out because the person who had bullied them teleported to their house mere moments after they did. Needless to say that was a nasty surprise.

Related to this a person who is blacklisted by the fc leader should automatically have teleport access to the fc house revoked. My fc had a very near miss with drama due to an unsavoury ex-member abusing the friend of a fc member teleport feature to instantly get to the fc house even though they knew very well that they were unwelcome by a large amount of people. We were so fortunate that those who would have been rattled by their presence the most were not online. Of course they could come anyway through the very long route everyone takes when they have no teleport access, but at least this lengthy process would deter many from bothering to do so. If a person can just instantly teleport it's a zero effort method to easily upset other people with their presence.

Also as far as I know unfriending and blacklisting doesn't prevent someone you married from teleporting to you using the wedding ring, even if you divorce them.

Unfriending and blacklisting needs to actually protect people from those they don't want to be with. As it is now it enables meanspirited people to continue to easily intimidate a person.

[Dzian]

The person can still see where you are by doing a Player Search of you, even if you weren't on their friends list.

True but
A: that's significantly more effort.
B the player search won't yield results if your in a duty. Or as far as I know even visiting another server. And
C: they can't warp to your estates or anything from player search.

[Seraphor]

Have it as an option at least.
Have separate 'My Friendslist' and 'Friendslists I'm on'.
Removing a friend from your list offers the option to also remove you from theirs. If you decline, you can always go into 'Friendslists I'm on' later and remove yourself from there.

[LianaThorne]

Just from my own perspective, I fled from Primal about 4-5 months ago because of an ex that would constantly stalk me and I am extremely afraid of what's going to happen when the flood gates open. If he hasn't found someone else to occupy his time, I know for a fact that he will try to come find me and make my life hell and potentially harass my current boyfriend. I'm not trying to have a game that I truly love and enjoy playing every day, ruined because of someone who can't take a hint and think that he owns me. (Yes I have him blacklisted across all of my characters but we all know how great the blacklist system is >_>)

This thread really needs to get bigger and get the attention of staff. It's not okay for victims to be afraid of their abusers/stalkers/exes finding them and to be run off of a game because of it. Protections need to be put in place for people.

[Kaoru_Nagisa]

Frankly Yoshi-P's stance on this seems ridiculous even when you take the JP servers into account. Perhaps the culture over there means stalking and harassment via Friends List usage is less prevalent, but there are these sorts of disgusting people all over the world - and more than enough horror stories about idol culture and their numerous stalkers for there to be concerns over on that side of the pond as well.

Far more drama and 'hurt feelings' come out of the Friends List not working both ways, than it would for someone to get removed from both sides. You know, how it works in basically most other MMOs.

[Raikai]

I'm on the fence with this suggestion... Just because sometimes I clean off my friendslist to only have people that are either my besties or the ones that I've been actively engaging with, but I wouldn't mind being on the list of people that I've removed. But if it's for the sake of less potential harrassment, then yes I agree.

Like people said above, the "ban-list" tool should actually offer full protection. And adding to that, not just the character, but the person's account as a whole.

[technole]

You really can't escape anyone in the game because your lodestone ID never changes. Name changes mean nothing, neither are data center transfers. In a way it's good that it doesn't, because it works on the flip-side too where you get people who are rotten thinking they can develop a new identity on the same toon and deceive others. You won't escape unless you go all-in on a new toon.

On the JP side many have an outside of the game 'ban' lists in a sense. It's not petty like reddit where they force black out names. Like here in the OF you can't witch hunt people, but having a game identity here to prove you are eligible to post and not banned. You can't escape that.

[Zfz]

It's a Japanese societal phenomenon as far as I can tell. That whole thing about not risking offending someone the slightest. Japanese society is full of these little "politeness" nuances that could very well sound ridiculous and just illogical to a foreigner.

Instead of bashing Yoshida (or rather the team, obviously) about the decision, it's perhaps more effective to put the effort into encouraging the dev team to recognize the cultural differences and reach an acceptable solution from there, which I'm sure they are perfectly capable of, once they realize the problem.

But ultimately it's impossible to stop stalking in this game because the game exposes your character ID in your Lodestone link, meaning the only way to truly disappear from someone's detection is to delete your character and create a new one, which will give you a new character ID. So something needs to be done about that, too, if the goal is to stop stalkers.