Tales from Duty Finder: Some make you laugh, some make you cry. Let's vent.

[Doozer]

I mean once you're done you're done with them so it seems like such a waste of time letting them occupy your mind.

I don't want to further scare or isolate that person, but sometimes you do re-encounter people. I ran into the same person AFKing in Dun Scaith like 4-5 times over the course of a week, and yesterday in one of my Orbonne runs I learned mid-way through the first boss that I had our tank blacklisted from a previous encounter. From what I heard they were saying, past me was justified.

Not saying it's really an issue, but it's definitely possible to encounter the same people multiple times. Though sometimes it can be a good thing.

[Theodric]

I've had very few issues during my time on Cerberus, thankfully. Pretty much every roulette I run is smooth. Quiet, perhaps, but smooth.

It's been months since I joined anything through the party finder so that may very well differ. The duty finder, though? Great, so far.

[Malmstrom]

I am sorry that you have anxiety playing with other people, I really do. And I understand not all of us can handle social interaction with other people, especially when they do things you disagree with, and just handwave it away, like I usually just do.

Ahhhh.... just don't let such a thing bothering you so much. Really, a vast majority of my social interactions with other people here in FFXIV has been normal, if not occasionally even entertaining and nice. Yea there were, are, and will be jerks but eh, try not to think about them too much; I mean once you're done you're done with them so it seems like such a waste of time letting them occupy your mind.

I think this was the proverbial straw yesterday. Too many stressors and negative things lately, and then trying to play a game and get attacked for trying to be polite and let someone watch their cut scene, and ultimately booted for it? Consider the camel broken when I made my post.

I need to just accept the next random FC invite I get and see what happens. Maybe I'll luck out and get a populated one that doesn't have a stupid name and tag.

[Vahlnir]

I think this was the proverbial straw yesterday. Too many stressors and negative things lately, and then trying to play a game and get attacked for trying to be polite and let someone watch their cut scene, and ultimately booted for it? Consider the camel broken when I made my post.

I need to just accept the next random FC invite I get and see what happens. Maybe I'll luck out and get a populated one that doesn't have a stupid name and tag.

That's fair. We all get frustrated sometimes.

[MagicAura]

I think this was the proverbial straw yesterday. Too many stressors and negative things lately, and then trying to play a game and get attacked for trying to be polite and let someone watch their cut scene, and ultimately booted for it? Consider the camel broken when I made my post.

I need to just accept the next random FC invite I get and see what happens. Maybe I'll luck out and get a populated one that doesn't have a stupid name and tag.

Please hang in there. I can understand a stressful situation escalating but not everyone out there is a horrible person. There are good people who will accept that newcomers need to be given time to watch cutscenes (especially as important as the one in Tam Tara because the main antagonist is revealed there for the first time). It's a lengthy cutscene but not such a big deal and I consider the option of being kind to another person more important than the few minutes the specific sequence lasts. And I do remember on my first time watching that one, last year, the other three left me there and proceeded to kill the boss and leave. I felt so horrible about it, so not worth having earned that dungeon clear because I didn't land a single hit on the boss. And that's why these days as a tank, if I have a new player in the group, I stop before the boss and ask if they want to watch the cutscene. If they do I'll wait there, regardless of what the other two people do (i.e. if they decide to engage the boss on their own, fine, good luck, I'll be watching).

Oh and I hear you about social anxiety and playing in groups. I have some interesting stories of my own on how I managed to overcome that stress (and still working on it) but obviously this isn't the right place for them.

[Liam_Harper]

The argument about using Essences and Lost Actions in DR is more or less the same about using your best raidfood and pots in a normal dungeon. Is any of it necessary? No. In DR (normal) there is only one dps-check at the end of queen's guards and you can beat it without any problems. Unless you are doing Savage you don't need to use them.

Raid food and potions increase your dps by 2% or so. Cheap, farmable essences increase your dps by 30-100%. This is more like the argument of using a ilv200 weapon and missing 2 accessories in Nier or Eden Normal because you cba to farm tomes or craft and you'll clear anyway so who cares. Technically that person is correct, but you wouldn't respect them for it.

Personally I've been going in with Deep or Pure Essence and double dps actions at my own expense because I'd feel bad not giving my all in a team effort. I'm not going to complain to my groups if they don't use any, or cause any fuss, and I'd respect anyone popping any damage Essence and nothing else. But it doesn't mean I feel it's good mindset not to bother with any at all.

It's moments like this that make me want to not play this game with any of you horrible, horrible people.

I don't want to come across as harsh, but you're throwing the social anxiety card around a lot. You're ignoring forum rules (no name and shame). You're generalizing and calling the community horrible people. The group have a fair point in that you killed the dps who didn't pull and refused to play your role to make a point (the healer will get offered a port in after the cutscene). You were verbally rude and took part in the argument.
I have bad social anxiety myself but it isn't an excuse for poor behavior. If you're finding being around people tends to end in conflict, while it can vary (there are some toxic people out there), the issue might not always be with other people.

[Malmstrom]

I don't want to come across as harsh, but...

Let's break this down really quick.

...you're throwing the social anxiety card around a lot - Probably because I easily balk at the thought of playing with other people. Or talking to people. Or interacting with people. I have logged out entirely to avoid potentially talking to people. Or the tried and true "I don't have a mic / doesn't work" card in past situations where it has come up, when I always do and it has always worked. So yeah, I throw it around a lot because the thought of grouping with other people to try and clear content harder than an Alliance raid is enough to make me not do it, which is why I have never cleared a current-content savage and I've been playing since late ARR.

You're ignoring forum rules (no name and shame). - Yes I am.

You're generalizing and calling the community horrible people. - First line, I did, yes. I also lessened the broad statement with a "some" at the end, because I realized even in my upset state that calling everyone horrible isn't right.

The group have a fair point in that you killed the dps who didn't pull and refused to play your role to make a point (the healer will get offered a port in after the cutscene) - Wording on that is confusing. Yes, I did not engage the boss when the dps that pulled ran in on their own while the healer was watching a cutscene. I didn't "refuse to play my role", I was waiting for the healer to be ready. Which is one of my roles as the tank. I wasn't making a point. I was doing exactly what I was supposed to do.

You were verbally rude and took part in the argument. - DPS immediately flew off the handle for something dumb that they did and started insulting me. Read it again. I'd say I was rather tame with my responses given the situation.

I have bad social anxiety myself but it isn't an excuse for poor behavior. If you're finding being around people tends to end in conflict, while it can vary (there are some toxic people out there), the issue might not always be with other people.
- Next time I will let someone acting like this rant and rave and do nothing about it instead. Why try and engage them or defend myself? Just because I don't do well in social situations doesn't mean I'm going to let people be horrible to me and walk all over me. I am more surprised by the fact that you read it and what you took away from it was that me trying to do the right thing and let the healer watch his cutscene somehow makes me the bad guy.

[Vahlnir]

...you're throwing the social anxiety card around a lot - Probably because I easily balk at the thought of playing with other people. Or talking to people. Or interacting with people. I have logged out entirely to avoid potentially talking to people. Or the tried and true "I don't have a mic / doesn't work" card in past situations where it has come up, when I always do and it has always worked. So yeah, I throw it around a lot because the thought of grouping with other people to try and clear content harder than an Alliance raid is enough to make me not do it, which is why I have never cleared a current-content savage and I've been playing since late ARR.

Obviously it's your life and your money, but an MMO seems to be an odd choice if your anxiety is this extreme, since playing with others is going to be inevitable at some point. Heck, just by logging in you are immediately playing with others, though indirectly. I think that's what is most puzzling about your situation, at least from my perspective.

[Silfar]

Bad day in the chrysalis trial. Qued up as a scholar for the roulette mainly to try a get some practice with shielding and to try and get better at SCH in general, my worst healing class. We wiped at the tear because only 1 dps was on it.

My co healer a WHM calls me a wannabe healer and afks til the orb part then runs up and dies. Its petty but I didn't raise him after the insult and afk. LB is used before tear and wipe follows, someone bails so I leave as WHM is issuing orders.

Did this fight change? The way I remember and run it is dps focus tear, tanks catch meteors, healers keep tanks up, never heard of dps catching meteors before. Does stacking help with double/triple sparks or was this WHM calling out bs to cover his laziness?

[Liam_Harper]

Usual day in DR, 3 runs that each took an hour each, but did have one moment that made it worth it. The tank died and as Profane WHM the boss went straight for me, whacked me down below 10k, charged up a tankbuster to which I threw Lost Seraph as a last ditch ...and literally evaded the tankbuster and next 2 autos at which point the tank got up, voked and took over.

I am more surprised by the fact that you read it and what you took away from it was that me trying to do the right thing and let the healer watch his cutscene somehow makes me the bad guy.

No, you were the good guy for caring about the healer but going the wrong way about it. Refusing to play your role is unfair on the other dps. Getting into an argument and throwing insults back at the one who started it solves nothing. Coming to the forums and breaking rules will not solve anything either. If you someone insults you and starts using abusive language, stay polite and report them. It's one of the few things GM's take rather seriously.
You can break down and "counter" all my points but it won't make your future runs smoother. Fair you had a rough run and wanted to vent a bit too, perfectly understandable. I only wanted to offer advice.