Should there be access to houses so every player that wants a house can get one? Yes.
Is SE doing that? No.
You can complain all you want but it's not going to change things. The same complaints have filled these forums since Heavensward. The Ishgard housing announcement at the showcase was SE's way of saying they don't care about our concerns when it comes to access to houses. They're going to stick to their failure of a ward system and that's that.
Until a miracle occurs and a house becomes available for you to purchase, apartments are your only option. You can make the best of a bad situation or you can stamp your feet in futile fury.
Since SE does not care, I suggest you try making the best of a bad situation.
Want more room? Get your husband to buy and decorate an apartment in the same building as yours. As long as he has guest access enabled, you'll be able to move directly from apartment to apartment as if they were a single house using the Exit menu. You won't be able to use any interactive objects he has but you can move back to your "floor of the house" to use yours. Between the two apartments, you'll have almost the same floor space as a small house (house basements are slightly larger than apartments).
As for gardening? Island Sanctuaries are coming. We don't know if it will be the same as the gardening we currently have in housing but there will be some form of planting and harvesting going on. Hopefully it will be 6.0 content and not 6.5 content.
Until then, get flowerpots for your apartment. You've got the trade off of being able to grow any seed in the game (garden patches can't grow the decorative flower seeds) while losing access to intercross gardening to produce your own seeds. You can use Shroud topsoil in flowerpots to get any possible increased yield if that's a goal.
Still want to try out intercross? Find a friend with a house that isn't using a garden patch and ask them to make you a tenant so you can garden there. One of my friends did that for me before I was able to get my own house. That will give you a taste of intercross gardening and you'll be able to decide if it's something you want to be doing long term once you get your own house.