Tales from Duty Finder: Some make you laugh, some make you cry. Let's vent.

[Eien713]

For one thing, offering concrete advice might go across better than a generic suggestion to read a guide. If you feel there's too many problems to address in the chat, at least give them a link to a guide you think is good.

I don't know the slightest thing about BLM, so I'm not well-placed to give advice on how to play it. I just know for certain that no DPS class should ever be below a healer (even I, a BRD, wasn't below the healer) and that things were dying painfully slow and I sure as hell wasn't the problem. The best thing I could think of was to point the person to the best thing to do in my opinion, which is reading a guide. This was after all what I did when I wanted to get good at BRD. I can't point the person to a specific guide because, again, I don't play BLM so I don't know a specific guide. It's also not my job to look for a guide for someone else when I don't have a specific guide that I know of. They have to at least make some kind of effort. I sure as hell didn't have anyone recommend me a guide for BRD way back when. People need to make an effort themselves instead of waiting for everything to be handed to them on a silver platter.

For another, avoid making any insinuations about the recipient's intelligence and gaming skill. Saying things like "<class> can be difficult to play" or "maybe you haven't noticed" can sound like "I think you're not very good at the game." Which, even if true, still feels bad. Stick to the facts and say something like "Hey <player>, you should try to keep Enochian up all the time because it procs your best spells".

I said what I said about BLM because that was truly how I saw the class. I just think people are now being too oversensitive and the slightest comment, no matter how innocent and sincere, is interpreted in an offensive way. And again, I'm just a player offering help. I'm not an FF14 encyclopedia. I can point people in the right direction, but I can't and have no obligation to make the journey for them too.

[tdb]

because it's usually an accident due to level synching turning it off

Can confirm. Another case is that I was hopping between classes and forgot to turn it on after switching to a tank class for the duty.

[Rein_eon_Osborne]

I only bother to say anything if the tank doesn't have their stance on, because it's usually an accident due to level synching turning it off. Otherwise, most people don't listen anyway.

This, and:
1. Failure in executing mechanics that leads to wipes, which is still quite uncommon.
2. Healers that are unable to keep their tank alive even after the tanks adjust to only do single pulls and blow off cooldowns appropriately. (Yes, they exist... somehow...)

And true: if texts has taught me anything, it's that our tone is simply indecipherable. People can literally take anything as an offense either by being oversensitive or simply want to troll, or even instigate unnecessary malice. The wisest choice is perhaps to only say something when somebody questioned for an advice.
Otherwise, vent here. Lol

[tdb]

1. Failure in executing mechanics that leads to wipes, which is still quite uncommon.

Ah right, if a failure to perform a mechanic correctly leads to a wipe, I usually provide a short (one or two sentences) explanation of what to do during that mechanic even without being asked.

[IDontPetLalas]

How on earth are we supposed to word things if literally anything and everything we say no matter the real intentions will be taken as passive-aggressive? The way I see it, the main problem is that people don't wanna own up to their mistakes.

I find that "passive aggressive" tends to be thrown around a lot here, when first of all the actual meaning may not always be well understood and secondly - although often well-intentioned, it's very hard to understand the intention of other party members even when you're actually IN the party, let alone when you're limited to hearing about it though the forum.

That' s probably another reason why so many people are scared to go beyond the o/ or gg in party chat.

[Eien713]

That' s probably another reason why so many people are scared to go beyond the o/ or gg in party chat.

This is a very sad reality. MMOs are supposed to be content that you do with others--it's not a solo experience. But the way the community behaves is killing the social aspect. I don't get why it's so hard to accept advice. I still remember to this day back in HW, when I was still new to BRD and didn't know much about other classes, I got tagged with a DRK as tank. I didn't know anything about the class, so I'd use my trusty old Mage's Ballad when the tank's MP would drop below 30% or so. This DRK pointed out to me that it was useless to use Mage's Ballad since it didn't work on DRK. I was so grateful this person went out of their way to let me know about something that I definitely had no idea about and would've probably taken me way longer to discover if they hadn't pointed it out to me. I highly doubt the DRK went into seclusion and pondered over how to word their advice as to not offend me and/or hurt my fragile feelings/ego. What happened since those days? (T_T)

[Vahlnir]

I only bother to say anything if the tank doesn't have their stance on, because it's usually an accident due to level synching turning it off. Otherwise, most people don't listen anyway.

Yep, pretty much. That's how I go about my DF runs. It would take some pretty awful stuff to happen for me to say anything more than "Hello" and "Tank stance please". People seem to handle those two things pretty well.

[Vickii]

Today I did duty finder puppets bunker. Was super friendly. A bit low on dps as we were missing most of the heavy hitters besides a SAM and we were the last to kill our ship but a good time was had by all

[SturmChurro]

That' s probably another reason why so many people are scared to go beyond the o/ or gg in party chat.

I don't even do that unless I'm addressed by name. (gotta clarify, I wouldn't be caught dead using either of those, but greeting in general)

This is a very sad reality. MMOs are supposed to be content that you do with others--it's not a solo experience. But the way the community behaves is killing the social aspect. I don't get why it's so hard to accept advice. I still remember to this day back in HW, when I was still new to BRD and didn't know much about other classes, I got tagged with a DRK as tank. I didn't know anything about the class, so I'd use my trusty old Mage's Ballad when the tank's MP would drop below 30% or so. This DRK pointed out to me that it was useless to use Mage's Ballad since it didn't work on DRK. I was so grateful this person went out of their way to let me know about something that I definitely had no idea about and would've probably taken me way longer to discover if they hadn't pointed it out to me. I highly doubt the DRK went into seclusion and pondered over how to word their advice as to not offend me and/or hurt my fragile feelings/ego. What happened since those days? (T_T)

I miss the days where you could actually call people out. Like I'll be real, sometimes people need a reality check (including myself). Now we have to tippy toe around, or get banned. That's why everything comes off as passive-aggressive - a lot of the time it is.

[Vickii]

I don't even do that unless I'm addressed by name. (gotta clarify, I wouldn't be caught dead using either of those, but greeting in general)

I miss the days where you could actually call people out. Like I'll be real, sometimes people need a reality check (including myself). Now we have to tippy toe around, or get banned. That's why everything comes off as passive-aggressive - a lot of the time it is.

Should just play WoW if you want to freely abuse people who aren’t as into a video game as you.

If you genuinely want to help someone and give them advice I’m sure there’s ways to do it that won’t result in you being banned.