Tactful ways to inform people that they're playing badly?

[Alleluia]

When I was leveling SCH in steel vigil (first healer class I've actually played that high), I was in a group and I thought I was doing ok, but I kept running low in MP. I had no idea why or if that was just what I was supposed to expect. I was managing with lucid dreaming and energy drain (I think???), but just barely. Then one of the DPS asks me if I'm using Ruin II most of the time, which I was for the instant cast. He kindly points out the MP difference btwn that and Ruin I, which I had overlooked b/c I'm a noob to the job. I switched to using Ruin II only when I needed to move and made Ruin I primary: no more MP management issue.

He just started with a simple question about what what ability I was using, and yeah I tensed up a bit when he first asked cus you can't hear tone in text and the question's phrasing could have been either a genuine interrogative or a setup to tell me I wasn't DPSing enough or something, and I didn't know which way it would fall. But I'm not an idiot and chose to answer civilly, and then I got a much appreciated bit of correction.

My point here is maybe, if you think someone is missing or misusing something in their skillset, I'd say just ask them about it. Maybe with "Genuine question" at the start or end, to keep them from misreading your question as accusatory when its not intended to be. I wouldn't just start with telling them how to do better, though. Asking a question first treats them like they're people who have brains and are capable of understanding concepts, which can only be helpful for you. It also lets them express their case for why they do a thing a way they do a thing if they wish. Being told at just annoys people b/c they have not even agreed to your authority and to learning anything from you, yet.

All that said, I generally don't care about how others play as long as we are actually clearing the content. But when I do run into unexpected wipes, I ask questions and try to examine what's gone wrong, so the above idea still holds, I guess.

[Floortank]

To answer the question posed directly: you don't.

To elaborate—

There are a couple of really important human being things that many MMOs players don't seem to understand. First, unsolicited advice — no matter how well intentioned or polite it appears — is considered rude behaviour in civil society. Almost every single person who has ever received unsolicited advice recoils at it, most often with a, 'Who does this guy / gal think he / she is telling me what to do!'

Anyone wasting another person's time invites and should expect criticism. They're lucky to get advice.

[Dreakon13]

Anyone wasting another person's time invites and should expect criticism. They're lucky to get advice.

The bar of what constitutes "wasting another person's time" varies wildly from person to person.

Case in point... the poster who hated the healer for healing.

[Aylis]

Edit: And I just want to say, these newer dungeons are hard hitting at times
and until you get into the groove and stuff you have to heal a bit more than
normal...so I dunno why you felt so mad because he didn't use 1 skill...

Pretty much this. You can't really fault a healer that plays a bit more conservatory in a PUG situation. We don't know you, nor do we know your skill level, how much you can take or how much wiggle room we have. Just as you don't know us or our skill level. Assuming that were all on the same page and top skilled players right out of the intro cut scene is asking a bit too much.

[Tiraelina]

I call it playing the game and not fussing over what the party is doing. First and last mistake is ever expecting fast, consistent runs out of randoms. Especially in leveling content.

[NoPlayer]

...

Edit: And I just want to say, these newer dungeons are hard hitting at times
and until you get into the groove and stuff you have to heal a bit more than
normal...so I dunno why you felt so mad because he didn't use 1 skill...

I pushed all 3 healer from 70 to 80 via dungeons after the SB release. I assure you that the Astro had no time to waste on divination or card games with unmelted dungeon gear alone. It was (probably still is) very hard to keep up healing against 3 mob groups.
The same situation it is even impossible when your tank pulls 3 groups without proper cooldown use.

[Dogempire]

Unfortunately not everyone is going to play as well as they can, and it's just a fact of playing with randoms. All you can really do is just grit through it and play your job the best you can.

Everyone else has their own lives and not everyone is going to bother to look up job guides or learn openers, it's not unreasonable to expect the basics like the healer knowing how to heal or the tank knowing how to hold aggro and pop cooldowns, but anything beyond that is just setting yourself up for disappointment.

Also I reccomend not cursing out tanks/healers or really just anyone in general for how they play. I get that it can be frustrating at times but tanking and healing anxiety is a thing and saying nasty things to them about their performance might make them quit their role completely, on the other hand, they'll probably be more open to advice and just pointers in general about how to play their job.

tl;dr: Don't be a jerk

[Mito123]

I love healing. Placing regens then sitting on ground emote and watch ppl fight is fun to me hahaha.

[Vulcann]

Anyone wasting another person's time invites and should expect criticism. They're lucky to get advice.

i remember when video games were considered a way to waste time.

[Vespar]

Tactful way to inform someone they are playing badly:
-Leave

It may mean you have to requeue in 30m but would you rather sit in a dungeon with a bad player? or would you rather do something for 30m and then probably get a better group next time?

I dont even bother anymore. I just leave them. (which gets the point across even more if your a tank or healer)