It's hard for me to take a side fully for this situation, but I think you're more in the right Rubytoe. Generally when all 4 party members cross the purple line for the boss arena, it shows an indirect sign that everyone is ready. On the other side of it, a DPS putting unneeded stress on the group just because he / she wanted to maintain a buff is petty. A lot of the headaches could have been avoided if the Dragoon told you the purple line rule to begin with.
To answer the question, it is still preferable to let the tank pull. Whoever pulls first gets all the initial threat from the enemy group. Keep in mind that accident pulls, enemies engaging you first and target fixations sometimes happen. Countdown timers are not really needed in 4 mans and tend to be reserved for things like the 8 man Trials after a wipe. An exception for a 4 man could be someone explaining the mechanics to a new player.

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