(Rant Post) Why Does It Feel Like Giving Advice Is Evil?

[Awha]

I have not read the thread, and I my view might be wrong but I have always viewed pick up groups, duty finder runs as random encounters of people that are not my friend, coworkers, shared ally or whatever. They are simply strangers, and just as I would not walk up to a stranger and tell them how to do their job or task I will not do the same in pick up groups or duty finder groups. I know for some that may seem strange however, for me I simply cannot be bothered to show / teach stranger how do their job, I do enough of that with my friends. Though I do welcome advice, I just do not bother to give it since I guess I am not that type of person.

At the core though no matter what tone one uses if you offer advice I feel most people simply see "You suck, get gud kid."

[Camiie]

I'm not much different in real life. At my real life job I've directly called multiple coworkers stupid for not understanding something basic they learn in the first week of training which without knowing, you will be useless in the line of work i'm in.

At my job you wouldn't last long if you behave like a jerk. I certainly wouldn't put up with you as a co-worker. You wouldn't treat me or my team that way whether you were right or not. If you cant make your point respectfully, you don't have one.

[Averax]

Your people skills seem to be severely lacking.

You must have never worked in retail

[Skivvy]

You must have never worked in retail

I worked in retail for 4 years. Of course there were some absolute pricks, and there were several times I went to the back in tears after an encounter, but that doesn't mean people as a whole are stupid and not worth being friendly/helpful to. Working in retail doesn't turn a person into a jaded arse by itself.

[ShadowHunterrX]

Maybe I will say some stuff many people already pointed out. So please forgive me for repeating.

I helped on a daily basis from 2.0 till 3.0. At the time most people where still gradefull and more open to being helped in DF or just in the open world. But years passed and most people have there own little groups with friends, FC and Linkshells. Socializing is not needed anymore, so you get in DF most of the time only hello's and bye's. Some dont even say anything and will only open fire when things are going bad. It will be easier to ignore, bark and being mean in general in DF.

You also have helpers who just give bad advice. Not in a sense of different playstyle, just plain bad advice. Like dont use the cannons in Steps of faith. I still wipe alot there...

Last and the most important one. People are so fast offended the last 2-3 years and play the victim card so easy it's kinda sad. Even if you dont have the same opinion they are offended.

[Musashidon]

it's simple don't give advice unless asked, if you do then what happens next is on you.

even yoshi p said to just pick up the slack of the team.

[Tanathya]

it's simple don't give advice unless asked, if you do then what happens next is on you.

even yoshi p said to just pick up the slack of the team.

These two sentences are so wrong one's head may implode when trying to understand them in an MMO context.

[MOZZYSTAR]

I definitely feel you. I usually don't receive lip for giving advice (and asking for advice) when it comes to dungeons, raids, and trials, but I have been given a lot of beef over other advice and it usually does come down to tone. I have a lot of patience when it comes to raids and dungeons (unless it's new and scary and math is involved for the very first time, lol), but I tend to lose patience in other circumstances and it definitely shows.

What I do (in a raid at least) is if I notice there seem to be some newbies or players who don't understand/know the mechs after the first boss or two , I'll give them a mild briefing/warning before the next. I'll also type in a quick reminder to engage with certain mechs at a certain time in the chat. I'll use LoA as a quick example: we get to the final boss. I put a waymarker on our pad and tell them "when he casts ancient flare, run back to this pad" and that's usually all I'll say. I might give quick advice to use focus target to know when he'll do it, but I'll also type in "pads" and run back to the pad every time he casts it. It usually helps and people have yet to get snippy with me over it.

One time someone did get snippy with me was in Circus Tower (final boss) when I said "when the purple aoes show up, stack on them" some responded "u dont pay my sub." I ignored the lip and proceeded as normal. When the purple aoes showed up, I typed in "stack." Of course, the newbies who didn't listen died. The second time we had to stack up on the purple aoes, I typed in "stack" again and they all understood and got it the second time.

So, in the event there really is no time to ask "do you want the mechs" like in a raid, it's best to observe your group. If they seem to understand for the most part (there will always be slip-ups so there's no need to give advice over the occasional slip-up, it's when it's frequent that you can tell something is off), then don't give advice. If a good number in your party don't understand, then do give advice.

For trials, because everyone waits in the beginning, it's easier to ask if they want the lowdown. If they wipe once, can ask if they'd like to go over the mechs and such. If they agree to it, you can point out some things you've noticed and whatnot.

[Ilyrian]

Unless a player is severely holding your group back which, let's be fair, is unlikely in DF content - giving unsolicited advice is rarely going to be received well. On the internet, in a pressured environment.
Or at least singling a person out is - that's rarely going to end well. Posting tactics indiscriminately in new content is usually a good idea - it's to the benefit of everyone who may be new/unsure.
But generally I'd say it's best to just grin and bear it and/or that's what the kick button is for- or remove yourself from the situation. Not a perfect solution but we're talking about PuG content here - and people are going to be people wherever you encounter them.

[ImDingDing]

I thought you were going to talk about mentor roulette experience, NN chat or help your follower FC members...but PF content without being the party leader? No one ask for your help, get your own party if you don't like how the member react to you.