Static looking for girl to reduce stress (TS3 required)

[Sepuuku]

Hello everyone,

Now that Savage is out I'm sure many of you are banging your heads and destroying your nice things for wiping to Faust repeatedly. Things can get very stressful when raiding and tension can run high; friendships get ruined and families get torn apart.

Recently I realized what we were missing: the opposite sex!

That is why my static is seeking a girl of any level/experience to join our Teamspeak 3 server and hang out with us. Right now we raid on Tuesdays and Wednesdays at 7EST. We can invite you to our FC and groups are always doing something. Being geared/raid ready is definitely a bonus, but not required. This person will serve as a raid sub if applicable. All classes accepted.

I hope to see you around! Feel free to add me in game: Hestia Chan (i186 DRG, no drops yet this week).

p.s. we had a token female but she changed work hours.

It also helps to read this post in a slightly sarcastic but extremely serious tone

[Ephia]

I don't even.

[Eric_Windthief]

As someone who can easily lose my temper I agree with OPs sentiments. OP, while I may not be a woman, I have more raw sex appeal than any other raider on the behemoth server and would gladly lend you my seductive voice for a low wage paid in gil (so that I might pay off my crippling debt to one Felix Crescent). My voice comes in three critically renown flavors.

1. Raspy

2. Smooth

3. Marinated in a light steak sauce, then baked for 11 minutes.

Yours Always,
Eric Windthief

[ilmynasa]

It's definitely a bad idea, spoken from a personal experience.

[Sepuuku]

Sorry Eric, we are not accepting lalas at this time.

[Eric_Windthief]

Sepuuku,

You drive a hard bargain, that's for sure! Unfortunately your deal is too good to pass up (and Felix is threatening to throw me into a debtor prison a la colonial America if I don't pay up) so why don't we just go ahead and start negotiating the terms of my contract?

I think I can sweeten the deal in a couple ways to compensate for my poor choice of avatar.

First, if you let me soothe your woes in Teamspeak before I'm carted away, I will give every member of your raid a pair of slightly used running shoes (here is a picture of the model for your convenience http://www.thedi.ca/wp-content/uploa...ning-Shoes.jpg). While these shoes might not provide the support for the soul that your raid needs to save your friendship, they provide great support for the sole--so much so that they will help you run away from problems in life even better than video games!

Two: In case the pairs of used--like new shoes aren't enough, I'm willing to throw in my long time white mage and tsundere Vanishing Aria! When it comes to men pretending to be women he is the best in the business. Surely this almost girl will be more than adequate to relax your raid environment and your shoulders.

III: If you are still harboring doubts about taking us on, I'd like to give you a direct comparison of Vanishing Aria vs. your average girl.

Artist's depiction of Aria based on customer testimony: http://i.imgur.com/naZ9Vd6.jpg?fb

Girl: http://cdn.shocho.co/sc-image/6/1/1/...d48f03fedd.jpg

XOXO,
Eric Windthief

[Ekac]

Lol this thread has made my day hahahahahahahaha

[ilmynasa]

Snip

Vanishing Aria was a girl last time I heard her on TS3...? The one with bit of Asian accent? Wait what? Wait if that's not Aria then who was it??

[Eric_Windthief]

Hestia, my love! Why do you spurn my advances so coldly?
Has my modern approach to courtship perhaps intimated the weak hearts of your fragile raid group?
Say no more! I already see it is so!
Allow me to start over and attempt a more genteel approach, so that I may become the token woman that your raid so desperately needs!
I call this poem "Help!"

Felix's face is red
I'm looking blue
He's going to kill me
If I don't get gil soon

Ayy Lmao,
Eric Windthief

[Eric_Windthief]