Something I'm getting fed up with

[Zaft]

Well, on one occaision, I got kicked out (or dismissed), despite getting told to aoe (which I was trying to do).

I was hoping to tell healer to keep his/her distance and dps handle the adds, whilst I keep aggro on the Terrotaur beast itself, in the room its in. Is that the right way?

Nobody should be DPSing Terrotaur when the bees are up, so you aren't going to lose aggro on it. Pick up the bees and kill them ASAP. Especially if you're with bad DPS, they need to die fast.