Personally I agree with a lot of the issues you brought up as an entirety. Since one of the biggest issues I've seen through my history of MMO's is that most teams don't realize that their restrictive mindset not only affects them but the people playing their game. Also when people bring up "concerns" it doesn't mean "revamp" but to take into consideration alternative approaches to said content or changes. Above all while you want us to stay subscribed as long as possible the simplest way is to make long term objectives enjoyable goals and experiences and not long term objectives for the sake of longevity where it feels like a job or a chore to do.
While I disagree with Why are we still unable to send /tells in dungeons? due to the fact that some many players can't just get along with other demograph of players they get matched with in DF. Wipes are simply small repair bills at most and may take slightly longer to clear said dungeon. Yet that don't justify the extremes some players take it after a wipe or two by harassing those players with their "two cents". Since in the end both are capable of being victims as well as offenders. I understand the luxury of a good team but DF is not a place to have those kind of expectations 100% of the time.
Yet I ain't against a sort of solution or compromise. Such as individual voting to allow private messaging in dungeons.
My advice is any time you create content and restrict it question yourself about the excuses you use to justify them.
Every time you avoid certain aspects to implement also question yourselves about why you avoid them and instead of giving up look for alternatives and compromises you will feel comfortable with.