with this mindset the future looks dim

[Rosy]

There's a very good Chinese proverb:

Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I'll understand

[DarkStaoneDragon]

There's a very good Chinese proverb:

Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I'll understand

this is how I am, if I'm told I'll forget, show me I'd still probably forget, but if I'm doing it I'll remember, like in CT the first time I was there, I was there the other tank wanted me to MT the atomos adds even tho he was in Soldiery gear while and I was in standard AF and maybe 1 or 2 pieces of DL gear.

[Yurihyuga]

this is how I am, if I'm told I'll forget, show me I'd still probably forget, but if I'm doing it I'll remember, like in CT the first time I was there, I was there the other tank wanted me to MT the atomos adds even tho he was in Soldiery gear while and I was in standard AF and maybe 1 or 2 pieces of DL gear.

Hate to say this but you got limited choices with that mentality find people that have patience/don't do endgame/pay for a carry/hit the unsubscribe button.
IF you even make it to T5 DF groups barely get passed divebombs if your lucky anyhow. Most don't even make it that far

Join a PF group you will most likely get replaced since you will won't even know conflag and fireball (which is phase 1) which means you won't even experience the mechanics of the fight so therefore never able to learn the fight.

You can't compare CT to turns 4 and 5. Mechanics are easily explained in CT but not in T4 and T5. So if your attention span is that limited no offence but your probably playing the wrong game as this is what the game is learning mechanics and memorizing.

Don't get me wrong though sometimes going in blind can be fun but only if your doing it with like minded people. Me and my fc did it when we beat T4 the 1st time and lol did we wipe but the difference was we were all in agreement if it weren't a full party wouldn't have done that as we respect other people.