FFXIV Girls only discord server

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Originally Posted by Clover_Blake

Let me share the way I perceived the story, which greatly differs from yours.

A girls only discord was advertised as a "safe space" free of "harrassment". This naturally means that males are bad and problematic, and females are all good (-laughs at personal experiences-). The mere concept is an insult to males.

The thread about the bros server was a joke, a parody (and a funny one, I must add). Did you want some serious discussion there?

It's quite simple to see why people might have been annoyed, really.

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As a female, I don't think there is an issue with the concept of having a separate Discord group for females only, even with the wording of it being a "safe space, free of harassment". I don't think this automatically means that they think males are bad or problematic and females are all good.

However, sometimes it is a welcome break to know you'll be in a group where you (most likely) don't have to worry about being hit on, sexualized, or garnished with unwanted attention...in whatever form that may take for you. Or maybe you just want to have a spot where you feel more able to discuss certain topics that men in general, for better or worse, do not handle well. It's not a crazy concept, and that doesn't make it sexist as some other people have been declaring.

As far as my own experience goes, I can't tell you how many times I've jumped on VC with a new group, only to start getting hit on by some of the guys. I've also had plenty that just creep over my in-game character as well. A couple of times in the past it's been so overwhelming to me that I ended up changing to a male character for awhile, and that at least stopped the in-game comments almost immediately. With that said, I've thankfully met far, faaaaar more people that are just fun and decent, but the other interactions can really stick with you and I really can't fault anyone for wanting to find a group of like-minded people who may help to curb all of that....stuff.

Now with that said, do I think it's possible to make a group that is completely perfect and free of trouble? No, not at all, but it's obviously worth trying for some people. And hopefully they have rules and people in charge who try their best to manage issues as they arise.

Isn;t this the same discord that was grooming other girls and being bigots?

There isn't a streaming situation. Our ladies are vetted, we aren't partnered with anyone. This is all fabrication. There's so much information in these 34 pages, all slander, brought on by people who purposely want to destroy this community. It's an optional community. No one is forcing anyone to join but the slander you are hearing is made from those who could not get their way in the server. I'm just sorry you have he read all of it.

All the women who volunteer to stream for the FFXIV Girls online channel is 100% volunteer and no one HAS to do it. It's meant for those who want to support not to take advantage. If someone disagrees with it they just don't stream under our handle. How is that wrong?

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Originally Posted by KohanaAbarai

There isn't a streaming situation. Our ladies are vetted, we aren't partnered with anyone. This is all fabrication. There's so much information in these 34 pages, all slander, brought on by people who purposely want to destroy this community. It's an optional community. No one is forcing anyone to join but the slander you are hearing is made from those who could not get their way in the server. I'm just sorry you have he read all of it.

All the women who volunteer to stream for the FFXIV Girls online channel is 100% volunteer and no one HAS to do it. It's meant for those who want to support not to take advantage. If someone disagrees with it they just don't stream under our handle. How is that wrong?

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Except there’s a ton of screenshots of DMs all over the place, are you serious? So all these people are collectively all lying? You’re not going to gaslight me so don’t even try

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Originally Posted by KohanaAbarai

There isn't a streaming situation. Our ladies are vetted, we aren't partnered with anyone. This is all fabrication. There's so much information in these 34 pages, all slander, brought on by people who purposely want to destroy this community. It's an optional community. No one is forcing anyone to join but the slander you are hearing is made from those who could not get their way in the server. I'm just sorry you have he read all of it.

All the women who volunteer to stream for the FFXIV Girls online channel is 100% volunteer and no one HAS to do it. It's meant for those who want to support not to take advantage. If someone disagrees with it they just don't stream under our handle. How is that wrong?

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Bruh your screens are all over twitter. Ya'll really like gaslight people huh?

Nope, all fabrications brought on by upset users that couldn't have their way so they are spreading lies to destroy and optional community. No one is forcing anyone. Seems like an awful lot of an effort on something so trivial as a gaming community for women. MAYBE just maybe people could spend this amount of effort on something more important like RAINN or world hunger. If spending time on a thread slandering a community is your day job, then by all means continue but by no means does this mean we are giving up because some few have created lies and continually attack the owner of the discord.

-Namaste
#cancelcancelculture

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Originally Posted by KohanaAbarai

There isn't a streaming situation. Our ladies are vetted, we aren't partnered with anyone. This is all fabrication. There's so much information in these 34 pages, all slander, brought on by people who purposely want to destroy this community. It's an optional community. No one is forcing anyone to join but the slander you are hearing is made from those who could not get their way in the server. I'm just sorry you have he read all of it.

All the women who volunteer to stream for the FFXIV Girls online channel is 100% volunteer and no one HAS to do it. It's meant for those who want to support not to take advantage. If someone disagrees with it they just don't stream under our handle. How is that wrong?

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Then can you please explain the two tweet threads that were posted 2 posts after the OP of this thread?

Because those two situations are the problematic things that stood out to a good number of people. As such, we've only seen one side of both of those situations, but the examples given have detailed screenshots, conversations and examples showing what occurred, and paints a very unflattering appearance of this discord server.

This gives GasLight GateKeep and GirlBoss a whole new meaning xD

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Originally Posted by Blossoming

Except there’s a ton of screenshots of DMs all over the place, are you serious? So all these people are collectively all lying? You’re not going to gaslight me so don’t even try

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just because you know what the word "gas lighting" means, doesn't mean you can judge me. I have been auditing the server since I joined. I know exactly whats going on there so if your screen shots mean nothing because they are from a community that is not what we represent and they are being used to miscontrude what our message is into a mesage of hatred. So please spare me your big words. Get on with your mediocre angry hateful life please.

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Originally Posted by KohanaAbarai

just because you know what the word "gas lighting" means, doesn't mean you can judge me. I have been auditing the server since I joined. I know exactly whats going on there so if your screen shots mean nothing because they are from a community that is not what we represent and they are being used to miscontrude what our message is into a mesage of hatred. So please spare me your big words. Get on with your mediocre angry hateful life please.

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So your stance is that the two threads, the two people bringing examples against that server, is that they are lying or referring to a different server?

One contains the gender issue as well as an example of a minor being harassed by another member of that discord.

The other contains a very unflattering exchange between a member who was interested in being a streamer for that community and a person of authority for the discord, in which very clearly the streamers who volunteered seem to be being taken advantage of monetarily, unless I am misunderstanding that situation.

People are only asking for clarification on the two examples that were shown. No one that is sane is claiming a 'Girls Only' 14 discord in of itself is wrong. What people are rightly questioning are the two examples given via the tweets with clear screenshots as to what has occured.

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Originally Posted by ArkenaeuxBelmont

Then can you please explain the two tweet threads that were posted 2 posts after the OP of this thread?

Because those two situations are the problematic things that stood out to a good number of people. As such, we've only seen one side of both of those situations, but the examples given have detailed screenshots, conversations and examples showing what occurred, and paints a very unflattering appearance of this discord server.

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Those posts are a huge misrepresentation of what we stand for. They are taken entirely out of context as well. Instead of anyone even trying to educate us, what happened was they got pissed off, left and made a whole new story up to shame us for no reason. Again these lies are fabricated. Similar to how the media spews opinions and changes context. Believe what you want we won't budge! The fact is we are being crucified by cancel culture because they refuse to talk things out and educate.. they just want to END things that don't make them happy. All this trouble is unnecessary and a giant waste of everyone's time.. All I ask is for those who don't want to be in this group to go find something else already because all this information still circling is invalid.

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Originally Posted by KohanaAbarai

just because you know what the word "gas lighting" means, doesn't mean you can judge me. I have been auditing the server since I joined. I know exactly whats going on there so if your screen shots mean nothing because they are from a community that is not what we represent and they are being used to miscontrude what our message is into a mesage of hatred. So please spare me your big words. Get on with your mediocre angry hateful life please.

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More dishonesty from the “girls only discord server”. It’s easy to be blind to your own bias

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Originally Posted by ArkenaeuxBelmont

So your stance is that the two threads, the two people bringing examples against that server, is that they are lying or referring to a different server?

One contains the gender issue as well as an example of a minor being harassed by another member of that discord.

The other contains a very unflattering exchange between a member who was interested in being a streamer for that community and a person of authority for the discord, in which very clearly the streamers who volunteered seem to be being taken advantage of monetarily, unless I am misunderstanding that situation.

People are only asking for clarification on the two examples that were shown. No one that is sane is claiming a 'Girls Only' 14 discord in of itself is wrong. What people are rightly questioning are the two examples given via the tweets with clear screenshots as to what has occured.

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Streaming: Streaming? whomever wants to stream for the twitch channel is more than welcomed to do so, so many streamers got their confidence back while streaming for the girls only twitch channel. any donations that are made, are being offered back to the streamers. the rest of the earnings (there aren't any), but if there were, would be cover the costs of the many prizes we offer around the server, from our own pockets.

That situation was BLOWN way out of context NO ONE is forced to stream for us. It's optional as support. If they don't want to do it they don't have too.. Why people thing we are taking advantage is so odd when its all volunteer!

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Originally Posted by KohanaAbarai

Those posts are a huge misrepresentation of what we stand for. They are taken entirely out of context as well. Instead of anyone even trying to educate us, what happened was they got pissed off, left and made a whole new story up to shame us for no reason. Again these lies are fabricated. Similar to how the media spews opinions and changes context. Believe what you want we won't budge! The fact is we are being crucified by cancel culture because they refuse to talk things out and educate.. they just want to END things that don't make them happy. All this trouble is unnecessary and a giant waste of everyone's time.. All I ask is for those who don't want to be in this group to go find something else already because all this information still circling is invalid.

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You sure have no problem telling other people off though because they dare question you, oh that’s right I’m supposed to be going back to my “mediocre angry hateful life” as you put it but oh you guys aren’t toxic at all! It’s all lies! Ignore all the multiple people proving otherwise!

And you are?

In a court of law everything you all are stating is slander. Anything that can remotely cause hinderance to growth is Slander and accusations.. so I ask again, who are you? Are you an ex community member? Are you just a disgruntled cancel culture person? or some basement goblin looking to continually troll this community? Please Explain your stance because I honestly cannot understand why you continue even bother??? IT'S A VOLUNTEER COMMUNITY...

These responses aren't exactly helping public perception, "Believe what you want we won't budge"
Like, at least try to refute the points made against you? Provide context for out of context stuff? There's at least some concerns that need to be addressed, and I don't mean the entitled people who want to be part of every group at the same time.

Okay, legit question. Why is discord drama being spilled out onto an offical game forum? Like, sure the memes have been okay but really why here? Isn't this better suited for reddit or something?

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Originally Posted by KohanaAbarai

Those posts are a huge misrepresentation of what we stand for. They are taken entirely out of context as well. Instead of anyone even trying to educate us, what happened was they got pissed off, left and made a whole new story up to shame us for no reason. Again these lies are fabricated. Similar to how the media spews opinions and changes context. Believe what you want we won't budge! The fact is we are being crucified by cancel culture because they refuse to talk things out and educate.. they just want to END things that don't make them happy. All this trouble is unnecessary and a giant waste of everyone's time.. All I ask is for those who don't want to be in this group to go find something else already because all this information still circling is invalid.

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No one is asking you to "budge". Also any entity is open to public critique and criticism.

How are the examples given a misrepresentation of what you stand for? Can you provide examples to disprove the claims that were brought against the server? Of course, you don't have to defend yourself or rebut the accusations at all. However, if you choose to ignore, then criticism is a consequence of that stand point. You cannot willfully then cry victim if you do not provide a defense, and you have a right to defend yourselves.

I'm not being confrontational, only merely observing and commenting on what I see. I see two very well documented examples that paint this discord in a very bad light. A good number of others are also of that viewpoint.

As a personal issue, it has nothing to do with me. I'm not angry, outraged, spewing "filth" or attacking in anyway. Merely commenting on what I have observed. My opinions and stances are always that, opinions based on empirical evidence I can see. The fact stands that I can see clear information showing how that discord is being morally questionable, and the only defense you've offered is that "they are lying."

'He Said She Said' doesn't work when there is tangible evidence.

At this point in time, my team will not be responding to this thread any further. We have dedicated enough time and spoke on our part. If these false accusation continue to fester, that's on you not us. We've been growing and changing and learning and continuing to up our security. The fact that you all continue to bash us makes no sense other than that some one is bitter and petty. We've done our part, just move on because it's a volunteer community.. if you don't want to be apart of it don't but don't manipulate others from checking out and judging for yourself... that's just wrong.

You can stop trying to make half hearted attempts at insulting me with names and other assumptions and give some context, but something tells me you won’t.

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Originally Posted by ArkenaeuxBelmont

Then can you please explain the two tweet threads that were posted 2 posts after the OP of this thread?

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Originally Posted by KohanaAbarai

Those posts are a huge misrepresentation of what we stand for. They are taken entirely out of context as well. Instead of anyone even trying to educate us, what happened was they got pissed off, left and made a whole new story up to shame us for no reason. Again these lies are fabricated. Similar to how the media spews opinions and changes context. Believe what you want we won't budge! The fact is we are being crucified by cancel culture because they refuse to talk things out and educate.. they just want to END things that don't make them happy. All this trouble is unnecessary and a giant waste of everyone's time.. All I ask is for those who don't want to be in this group to go find something else already because all this information still circling is invalid.

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Can you just answer ArkenaeuxBelmont's question instead of waffling on. You're being vague in your answers and this is why people don't believe you.

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Originally Posted by KohanaAbarai

Those posts are a huge misrepresentation of what we stand for. They are taken entirely out of context as well. Instead of anyone even trying to educate us, what happened was they got pissed off, left and made a whole new story up to shame us for no reason. Again these lies are fabricated. Similar to how the media spews opinions and changes context. Believe what you want we won't budge! The fact is we are being crucified by cancel culture because they refuse to talk things out and educate.. they just want to END things that don't make them happy. All this trouble is unnecessary and a giant waste of everyone's time.. All I ask is for those who don't want to be in this group to go find something else already because all this information still circling is invalid.

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Ngl, the first things Abusers do is make it seem like people are spreading misinformation to discredit the victim, then they have multiple people go out their way to defend the abusers so they look like victims. Then they actively get mad when asked if you can show proof that the abusers are in fact victims, and to prove they they were being shamed. Most people who have power Trips on top of that also will do whatever it takes to avoid losing said power. Including lie, and spread misinformation to counter the proof.

So if all of you are innocent. Just post the pics showing full context, the DMs are there for ever, and it can show that you guys are innocent and the person who posted the other screens are lying. Or you can not show us and deal witht he fact that people will tell others for their own protection to stay away so minors arent groomed and innocent girls aren't abused. Females are abused at an alarming rate in the XIV community. Can you really blame people for wanting to keep their friends, GFs, sisters,etc safe from this kinda thing? ANd you said you manage the server. YOU have direct access to proof that you're all innocent, why not post it then?

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Originally Posted by KohanaAbarai

And you are?

In a court of law everything you all are stating is slander. Anything that can remotely cause hinderance to growth is Slander and accusations.. so I ask again, who are you? Are you an ex community member? Are you just a disgruntled cancel culture person? or some basement goblin looking to continually troll this community? Please Explain your stance because I honestly cannot understand why you continue even bother??? IT'S A VOLUNTEER COMMUNITY...

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You seen it here everyone. This is a community member of the “girls only discord server”. They claim to be an important member, as they do audits. A higher person in this community.
Does this angry, hateful, argumentive person represent “a safe space”? I think the answer is a clear NO.
If drama, hate, grooming and being spiteful are your thing; then this is the community for you. Otherwise, avoid for the betterment of your own mental and emotional well being

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Originally Posted by KohanaAbarai

I know exactly whats going on there so if your screen shots mean nothing because they are from a community that is not what we represent and they are being used to miscontrude what our message is into a mesage of hatred. So please spare me your big words. Get on with your mediocre angry hateful life please.

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Honestly, after reading this thread for a while, you are the primary perpetrator of spewing hatred.

Just because an experience may not have been akin to yours does not make it any less true. It just doesn't make it your experience. And to try and immediately shut down conversation that brings to light that your community isn't as much of a "safe space" as you so claim is refusing to have any sort of discussion about potential foul play going on. So, are you not doing exactly what you are claiming others are doing?

Seems to me like you're the one leading a "mediocre, angry, hateful life".

Grooming of a 14 year old... Jesus

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Originally Posted by KohanaAbarai

Those posts are a huge misrepresentation of what we stand for. They are taken entirely out of context as well. Instead of anyone even trying to educate us, what happened was they got pissed off, left and made a whole new story up to shame us for no reason. Again these lies are fabricated. Similar to how the media spews opinions and changes context. Believe what you want we won't budge! The fact is we are being crucified by cancel culture because they refuse to talk things out and educate.. they just want to END things that don't make them happy. All this trouble is unnecessary and a giant waste of everyone's time.. All I ask is for those who don't want to be in this group to go find something else already because all this information still circling is invalid.

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Like I'm a girl, can you 100% assure me that I'd be safe joining this server? I've been abused, can you make me believe that I can trust the people in this server to not hurt me and harm me and use me like I'm some toy? I'm asking an honest question.

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Originally Posted by Aelin_Ashryver

what it is clearly there for is to avoid males who can be bad and problematic :) Not all of them, just those nasty few who can make your life unpleasant. Women know all to well how nasty and venomous other women can be. But when you specifically join a community meant to be a sanctuary you are going in with support for yourself and others in mind.

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So we agree that some males are problematic while many others are not, and we agree that women can be venomous. In other words, you are going to find bad people everywhere. This does not concur with the deceitful claim that removing males altogether is going to make a place "safe".

I believe this is merely a server for people who have personal issues against boys, which is actually okay with me so long as they don't generalise in such a manner.

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Originally Posted by Aelin_Ashryver

Sorry, if you take it as an insult then maybe you are one such male who cannot be decent to women? Because if you are just a normal dude who minds his own business I hardly see what the problem is.

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I'm a girl. I just can't stand displays of gratuitous disdain against my male friends.

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Originally Posted by Skivvy

As a female, I don't think there is an issue with the concept of having a separate Discord group for females only, even with the wording of it being a "safe space, free of harassment". I don't think this automatically means that they think males are bad or problematic and females are all good.

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Ah, for the record, I don't have any issue with people wanting to make specific groups either. In fact, I understand the feeling of wanting to be with people who are like-minded. My problem was the way it was advertised, for it was less about wanting like-minded people and more about making a point of how "unsafe" men are.

(Last but not least, please excuse my English).

I'd like to know what's being done about minors in this "safe space."..... this is concerning to me.

https://twitter.com/Celeste_Orchana/...95290769584129

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Originally Posted by KohanaAbarai

At this point in time, my team will not be responding to this thread any further. We have dedicated enough time and spoke on our part. If these false accusation continue to fester, that's on you not us. We've been growing and changing and learning and continuing to up our security. The fact that you all continue to bash us makes no sense other than that some one is bitter and petty. We've done our part, just move on because it's a volunteer community.. if you don't want to be apart of it don't but don't manipulate others from checking out and judging for yourself... that's just wrong.

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That is entirely your right.

That however also opens you up to the valid criticism of people who, when looking to form their own judgement and opinion, use the evidence then available to them to form it. Without offering a defense that is tangible, that is the price you must pay.

That is negative PR, and is how a community gets a negative branding associated with it.

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Originally Posted by strawberrycake

Like I'm a girl, can you 100% assure me that I'd be safe joining this server? I've been abused, can you make me believe that I can trust the people in this server to not hurt me and harm me and use me like I'm some toy? I'm asking an honest question.

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I'm pretty sure the answer is "no", just like in any other place on the internet or even in real life.

It’s funny because on their own official twitter page when some of the stuff surfaced recently, they are “apologizing and re-evaluating” but today in here calling the ones who exposed them liars and spreading misinformation.

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Originally Posted by Stanelis

I'm pretty sure the answer is "no", just like in any other place on the internet or even in real life.

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I'm very aware of that, but my point is that, this situation has made people uneasy about this server. And this person can get and show proof, and is choosing not to. So how can you help people avoid their fears of this server and possibly being abused?

This thread was funny, now it's just boring, y'all should probably move on now.

Glad female abuse is funny to you

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Originally Posted by strawberrycake

Glad female abuse is funny to you

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Female abuse? You mean the fem on fem abuse? That’s all that’s come to light in this thread. I refer to the grooming.
Let’s not act like the perpetrators are only on one side here.

Given that it seems to be all females involved from what I've seen I figured the general use term would work

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Originally Posted by Clover_Blake

So we agree that some males are problematic while many others are not, and we agree that women can be venomous. In other words, you are going to find bad people everywhere. This does not concur with the deceitful claim that removing males altogether is going to make a place "safe".

I believe this is merely a server for people who have personal issues against boys, which is actually okay with me so long as they don't generalise in such a manner.

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Why do you need someone to break down a million reasons why they don't want to be around someone else? I don't care about this server, at this point it's irrelevant despite the argument going on. What I take issue with is why so many of you have so much vitriol toward women who want to be around other women but DON'T have that same vitriol toward men who want to be around men. This is what I need you to ask yourself. "Why do women expressing a boundary set me off, but men don't?" The most common answer is, "Well, I EXPECT men to be "jerks", but not women" Which is extremely misogynistic, because it implies that you expect all women to be docile and roll over to your wishes and not men. and so when you see ones that don't, it enrages you. You meaning anyone who thinks like this of course.

If there's another explanation you can let us know, but for now it's looking a bit grim. It's looking a bit predictable, I'll have to admit. Because again, no one cared about the boys club. Which is how it always is. We hear about a boys club and we laugh, we roll our eyes, we even think 'good!' or expect it-but we hear a girls club and it needs to be dissected and destroyed immediately whether the person in front of it is problematic or not. We hear about a girls club and the forefront of your thoughts is that it must be inherently evil or somehow attacking someone merely by existing. It's negative, it's exclusionary, it's anti men because all men are this or that!! Surely it can't just be for giggling amongst each other. Clearly something for women is absolutely still about men, right. It's just a little predictable is all I'm saying, but if your viewpoint is different that's be genuinely surprising. Set your feelings about this current messy server aside and think about why in general it ticks you off so bad when it comes to one gender, but not the other. Tell me why boys clubs don't give you this same reaction.

You need to educate yourself on the definition of slander. Online statements, by definition, are not slander.

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Originally Posted by SahreeYurblu

You need to educate yourself on the definition of slander. Online statements, by definition, are not slander.

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Especially trying to use the "slander" defense as the only response to actual valid, documented claims that all can see.

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Originally Posted by strawberrycake

Like I'm a girl, can you 100% assure me that I'd be safe joining this server? I've been abused, can you make me believe that I can trust the people in this server to not hurt me and harm me and use me like I'm some toy? I'm asking an honest question.

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This can never be guaranteed anywhere.
Not gonna name names because tbh I don't memorize all of it and I cba to look it up atm.
But there's some really big '' activist '' woman in the games industry who runs rampant on Twitter and is on the board of some big game dev organisation.
She has a really really long history of being a real piece of shit garbage person but she gets a pass because she has '' the correct politics '' and is extremely vocal about it to an obnoxious level.

A while ago a whole bunch of women came out and talked about how she had been abusing them behind the scenes and been extremely creepy.
The most infuriating thing is that people argued she deserved a second chance and all that even tho it was very recent and her apology was incredibly half-arsed and the victims didn't buy it at all.

It's true that women in the games industry do get abused and harassed and such more often than men, but it's not true that it's not a big problem for men too and it's also definitely not true that it's just men abusing women.
HR in particular has a big overrepresentation of women and HR is very often the enablers at large studios who gaslight and/ or intimidate victims into silence.

Moral of the story is that women are not a bunch of innocent little flowers who would never hurt a fly, women are just as capable of being pieces of shit as men are.
The reason why men are usually more often bad towards women is because of the physical advantage it's dangerous to a womans physical well-being more directly if she does something bad to a man while it generally isn't for a man to do to a woman.
As soon as you start evening out these things and you get more women in power and more women dominated spaces that barrier is removed and the ugly sides come out.




All of that said I do understand women who want a woman only space because of that too, I am big into fighting games for example and I am all for womens only tournaments because a lot of women feel really uncomfortable or even unsafe to attend tournaments.
There's definitely a lot of creepy guys and people fetishizing them.
You can't get rid of that by having a woman only space but you can minimize at least certain aspects of it ( in particular the sexual ones, but then you also get women like in my above example ).