Unbelievable Rudeness!

You should have taken the opportunity to have a parenting moment and teach about cyber bullying as well as how to stand up for yourself. Because if she learns that now it will be a great thing for the future.

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Originally Posted by White_Wolf_X

1: You are letting your 13 year old play a game with 16+ rating....

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Lol, fake news even in game forums?

Go buy the game in lodestone, you will see this:

https://media.playstation.com/is/ima...Jun14?$native$

That is, 13+.

@OP: if you witnessed the episode and you believe the behavior of players were outside the allowed rules, you can REPORT them using the in game report feature. You may get better results than just write on a forum.

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Originally Posted by Paladinleeds

As for the OP... I suggest supervision.I would go as far as to suggest that ANYONE under 25 (yes, twenty five) is supervised by a parent (if possible, else a trusted friend). Even at 28, there are times I find myself clamouring for a friend to run duties with to have my back.

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Not everyone has social anxiety that bad or worries that much about what people say to them online, so that stance is a biiiiit extreme. Unless you're having a laugh with us which ok fair. This kid just got a taste of the internet and frankly surprised it took them until 13 to get it. Have you heard the stuff 10 year olds say to each other on Minecraft or Xbox Live? Going off the deep end like this parent has only enforces their daughter's inability to handle jerks which is a skill everyone will need or life will be miserable. It sucks that it happened but its a good chance for good parenting and a lesson about dealing with other people.

The PVE community of this game is actually pretty good TC, save for a few rotten apples, unlucky your child came across one, if she wants to continue playing you ought to tell her this can happen occasionally and that she shouldn't get frustrated over it because it lacks any importance whatsoever.

Piece of advice too if she's a little sensitive, you might want her to stay away from any PVP mode, including the one from this game. They are sewers. Always. No exception.

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Originally Posted by SilverObi

Not everyone has social anxiety that bad or worries that much about what people say to them online, so that stance is a biiiiit extreme. Unless you're having a laugh with us which ok fair. This kid just got a taste of the internet and frankly surprised it took them until 13 to get it. Have you heard the stuff 10 year olds say to each other on Minecraft or Xbox Live? Going off the deep end like this parent has only enforces their daughter's inability to handle jerks which is a skill everyone will need or life will be miserable. It sucks that it happened but its a good chance for good parenting and a lesson about dealing with other people.

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Perhaps my stance is considered on the more "extreme" side. However, I feel it matters in the case of this, going off my own experiences. With the rise of things like soxial anxiety and such though, I feel it better to be safe than sorry. If someone can handle iot better than parents before then, then more power to them, and by all means, exceptions can be made. But with the supervision, you also use that time to showcase how to handle the situation better in the future.

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Originally Posted by LalaRu

Lol, fake news even in game forums?

Go buy the game in lodestone, you will see this:

https://media.playstation.com/is/ima...Jun14?$native$

That is, 13+.

@OP: if you witnessed the episode and you believe the behavior of players were outside the allowed rules, you can REPORT them using the in game report feature. You may get better results than just write on a forum.

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Are you aware theat other country may have other regulation?

It's 16 in EU.

And Cero C in JP which is 15 yo.

In the case of a minor, yes the parent should've been at least in the same room or playing together with them. Video games and TV are not babysitters, especially online games. But instead of kicking up dust on the forums the parent should've used it for a lesson. But ya know honestly in the end this might not even have happened and OP could just be doing a stealth attack on the Great Community btw attitude

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Originally Posted by Paladinleeds

Perhaps my stance is considered on the more "extreme" side. However, I feel it matters in the case of this, going off my own experiences. With the rise of things like soxial anxiety and such though, I feel it better to be safe than sorry. If someone can handle iot better than parents before then, then more power to them, and by all means, exceptions can be made. But with the supervision, you also use that time to showcase how to handle the situation better in the future.

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I've had social anxiety most of my life...but since the games I play are mostly MMOs I had to learn how to deal with people being jerks. Others should be doing the same and/or teaching others to do the same. The best solution is to simply not give them the reaction they want. Going to extremes doesn't really help anyone. In fact, what you are suggesting wouldn't really solve anything. It would only be delaying the inevitable...which is people needing to learn how to handle themselves on the internet. I've had bad days where a random jerk got under my skin but I didn't really dwell on it. I just walked away, cooled down and got back to it. I won't touch the parenting thing like others have brought up with a ten foot pole though. Not my kid, not my place to say.

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Originally Posted by JunseiKei

Other: Online Interactions Not Rated by the ESRB (PC, PlayStation 3)

...Because it's genuinely hard to tell when people are trolling and when they are being simple-minded, ESRB and other rating systems for games go by the content of the game and never what players can say or do to each other.

NOTE: Not saying the quoted user is being simple.

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Pretty much my facetious way of saying the online experience, as you linked, is unrated. People of all walks of life can turn it into a dream-like experience or an absolute nightmare.

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Originally Posted by Rosentretter

As some people mentioned before

PEGI 16

The fault is on you.

I'm sorry for what your kid experienced, if I had one of course I wouldn't wish mine to go through something like that, but it happened under your permission and responsibility. Should've prevented her before starting to interact with others.

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This argument is pointless. This isn't what rating systems are about. If my 11 year old son goes to see Deadpool by himself, the theater has the right to refuse him. But if I take him (which I did), the theater will gladly give us our tickets. I have the right as a parent to decide what my child is capable of handling. Please stop using this rating argument. It doesn't belong here. I have actually had conversations with SE customer support and told them my son plays FFXIV with us. They were very happy to hear it. Ratings are for parents protection.

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Originally Posted by Angus

This argument is pointless. This isn't what rating systems are about. If my 11 year old son goes to see Deadpool by himself, the theater has the right to refuse him. But if I take him (which I did), the theater will gladly give us our tickets. I have the right as a parent to decide what my child is capable of handling. Please stop using this rating argument. It doesn't belong here. I have actually had conversations with SE customer support and told them my son plays FFXIV with us. They were very happy to hear it. Ratings are for parents protection.

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Yeah. Ratings more or less just tell people what to expect. Ultimately it falls to the parents as to what they believe their kids can handle.

You can't control what others do but you can control how you react to it.

The only solution to this is to disable chat.

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Originally Posted by LyraKuroneko

It's 16 in EU.

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Well, op is from Diabolos, that is Crystal, 13+ region.

But, anyway, bad behavior is bad. And insulting others when they fail something seems a pretty common occurrence in that region. Hope not. How we can call that, cultural difference? But some of my EU "colleagues" are trying to catch up, in the end both have nothing to be proud of.

Oh if they're diablos I will run things with you and your daughter op, if you want to set up a group and not party with randos.

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Originally Posted by LalaRu

Well, op is from Diabolos, that is Crystal, 13+ region.

But, anyway, bad behavior is bad. And insulting others when they fail something seems a pretty common occurrence in that region. Hope not. How we can call that, cultural difference? But some of my EU "colleagues" are trying to catch up, in the end both have nothing to be proud of.

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You completly missed the point.
And servers are just servers, it doesn't make the rating at all.
I just tried to explain you that no, no it's not false news to say that the game is 16+, because rating isn't the same from places to places.
It never justified the behavior this kid encoutered either.

I wasn't there, and forum post doesn't really tell much expect "started blaming her", which is quite normal situation.

When I went for my first run in The Orbonne Monastery, I had no idea of it's tactics and caused us to wipe on 2nd last boss encounter. Some people reacted to it, I apologized and told that it was my first time there - afterwards we downed it.

A small part of me feels this didn't actually happen as I've seen plenty stories similar to it.

Nevertheless, interactions like that is bound to happen on an MMO. Once she's calmed down just encourage her to move on from it and try again, a bad interaction shouldn't mean giving up on a game you enjoy.

Girlfriend started playing recently and its her first MMO and so far so good. I've told her though, someday, she's going to run into someone who is going to tell her she is terrible and needs to quit the game or worse. I've told her the best thing to do in that instance is just leave the duty and forget about it. There's no point in trying to debate with those people b/c they get their thrills by insulting others. It's not like you lose much for bailing, but you do deprive the other person from being able to continue to insult you.

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Originally Posted by TattoedEnigma

A small part of me feels this didn't actually happen as I've seen plenty stories similar to it.

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Your first reaction is to assume they're lying? Really? What is there to gain by lying about something like that? To make Real Gamers like you look bad?

It's kind of disturbing that if people aren't blaming OP or their daughter for what happened, they're saying it's completely fake anyway. Holy crap.

As someone who grew up with the internet and had to figure this out, I actually think you have an opportunity to have a good talk with your daughter here.

There will always, always be rude people out there. Right now she's encountering them in a video game, but odds are one day she'll be encountering them at work, while driving, at school, on vacation... sometimes she'll probably even be rude herself. Occasionally it might be someone overall decent taking their foul mood out on innocent bystanders. Occasionally it's someone who would find an excuse no matter what. Some people just aren't mature enough to handle mild inconvenience with grace.

At the end of the day, it's important to be able to say ask yourself "and why should I value YOUR opinion?" People lately have been getting this idea that respect is something you're entitled to, but it's not. Basic decency and human dignity are, but respect is different. Respect is something you earn. If someone clearly has a stick up their ass, you can disregard their opinion. Or you can see if there's anything remotely useful, take that, throw out the rest. There are too many people in the world who all hold conflicting opinions to take everything everyone says to heart all the time.

It helps to look at guides. It helps to say you're new at the beginning of fights. Even with that though, messing up sometimes is inevitable and encountering snotty people is inevitable.

Dealing with jerks in a game is a relatively safe way to do it, compared to at a job for example. Personally, I'd suggest your daughter not give up on an MMO she enjoys but have a plan for herself in the event that she encounters someone like that going forward.

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Originally Posted by MarniDawg

As a parent you should take this moment to teach her how to deal with her reaction to people behaving in this way. The real world isn't always a kind place either and giving her the tools to deal with situations like this is giving her a leg up in life.

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The way to deal with toxic behavior in this game is to report it and have the other player sent out for a break.

Thanks for the suggestions!

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Originally Posted by Durandallwyn

I was watching my 13 year old daughter playing a trial boss. And some mouthy little entitled twerp started blaming her cuz she was panicking a little and the party wiped. She was in tears and left. Now she\\'s saying she never wants to play again.
She\\'s always been a bit sensitive and shy but enjoys final Fantasy games even the old ones I grew up playing. She was very proud of herself for getting into stormblood and kept saying she was looking forward to the new expansion. Her confidence level was starting to show and it was a great way for us to do something together.
You rude players out there need to stop expecting others to be like you! Be understanding! you don\\'t have most of the facts and can\\'t judge them nor blame them. You do not know what is going on in other people\\'s environments, various distractions occur, and stop freaking out cuz your video game wasn\\'t perfect.

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She is far too young to be confronted with the violence of the internet. It's a bit like a teacher-less recreation course, the size of the world.

Well, there are people who play WoW at a very young age, but sooner or later it must have happened unless you just play with her in the closed circle of your friends and FC members.

And as said above, she is confronted with pimply teenagers in search of themselves. And to the less young, who looks for performance.

I do not have to teach you how to educate your daughter, but it's like playing with teens and adults in a public square. And nobody to do the police.

The weird thing about MMOs is that you get the good with the bad, much like real life. 99% of the time people are nice, but occasionally they aren’t and you have to figure out what to do.

It is definitely upsetting when people criticize you unfairly and boot you from an instance. Fortunately that seems to be pretty rare, and I figure if it happens then it is usually a get out of fail free card. If people are really harassing other players, that isn’t OK, and reporting and blacklisting can be used.

I like duty finder but I also like party finder and doing stuff with people from your friend list/free company/linkshell is a blast. Also playing with family and friends is great.

After playing FFXIV a while, it doesn’t bother me quite as much when a 24p raid devolves into wipes and people blaming each other and rage quitting. It is kind of like getting to experience the “bad” ending of a game with multiple endings or the “game over” screen. You don’t need to win every time, and it is almost boring when you do.

That being said, I appreciate helpful and friendly players who don’t freak out when things don’t go perfectly.

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Originally Posted by Sanctify

Kids these days. When I was 13 I was playing vanilla WoW. Waaayyyyyy more provocative than this fairy tale. My advice, teach you kid to have tougher skin OR don't let your 13yr old play an online game.

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It says a lot when the victim is the one being blamed.

Yes the child will have to learn to handle it. No it still isn't acceptable. No you should not quit online gaming entirely if rude behavior upsets you, even adults can have a temporary break down over a particularly bad pug run. I would quite freely bet a lot of gil that at least half the playerbase has felt like not playing due to rudeness at some point.

Threads like these spread awareness. There's nothing wrong with that. Sometimes players who might be nice people otherwise have stressful days, get frustrated in a shaky run and snap and lose their temper, unaware who the person behind the screen might be or what effect their words might have. It might make a few people think twice before throwing abuse in their next run and even that one gesture prevents someone elses day being ruined.

Rereading the original post, I think it makes a really good point about being forgiving in a game played over the internet.

You never know whether a player might be a kid, or a great-grandparent (which is awesome btw), or might be new to gaming, or might have a disability, or might be experiencing crappy internet and lag, or might be sick, or might have unavoidable distractions like small children or parents or people knocking on the door at inopportune times.

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Originally Posted by Liam_Harper

I would quite freely bet a lot of gil that at least half the playerbase has felt like not playing due to rudeness at some point.

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I have had those days where rude behavior sorta ruined the game for me enough that I had to step away for a couple hours or even until the next day, but there's usually other things at play such as illness, a lack of patience to begin with or even just having a bad day all around. So yeah, it's definitely a thing, but I don't think it can necessarily be blamed on the bad behavior of players exclusively sometimes. Even when such factors aren't a thing, it has to take A LOT for that to happen, and that itself tends to be the result of multiple instances of encountering jerks. I'm speaking largely for myself but I would doubt that I'm the only one. I will admit though, a lack of player intelligence is what gets me more often than bad behavior. lol

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Originally Posted by Avenger

You never know whether a player might be a kid, or a great-grandparent (which is awesome btw), or might be new to gaming, or might have a disability, or might be experiencing crappy internet and lag, or might be sick

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Then boy do I have the solution for those! It's called "git gud". Honestly all you mentioned is nobody's concern. You shouldn't see players in your duty as anything else but NPCs that sometimes suprises you by not being completely inept.

It's not a meme that your squadron is better rhan other players.