How FF14 can be saved

It is pretty evident that FF14 is in its dying gasps. I can hear those death throes, and it isn't pretty.

As my server is down to the last 8 people online (in this trial I am in), I suggest we make the following changes.

1. Fire Yoshi P.
2. Give Yoshi P a second job at Squaresoft so he doesn't become a cult leader, because he seems to be heading that way.
3. Hire an American developer, preferably Todd Howard.
4. Hire a British developer, one of the Houser brothers will do.
5. Remove Bard
6. Remove the mentor system
7. Give Tataru a bikini scene.
8. Give girl Alphinaud a bikini scene.
9. Eliminate OCE to save reduce costs.
10. Streamline Satasha (no more looking at the colour of clam)
11. Translate game to Swedish
12. Actively encourage ERP.
13. Keep everything else the same.

So, why Todd Howard?

Todd Howard is a game developer that worked exceedingly hard to get into the industry. He was rejected by Bethesda around 10 times. Each time he was rejected, he took note of changes that he could make. improved himself, then tried again. When he finally was hired, he was made a project lead within a year for his crazy ability. I want that dynamic get-go nature on the game. Somebody who is not afraid of being told "no" because he is always going to improve.

Why the Houser brothers? As GTA has proved, Rockstar are capable of parodying American culture, despite being British-based. So well in fact that many people are unaware that GTA is British (and where the bulk of the development remains).

Since we are moving FF14 development out of Japan (I forgot about that part), we need a team that can give the Japanese-vibe no matter where the game is being developed (likely Romania, to cut costs).

You know I kinda missed you doing these. Can't wait for Firemage to take this seriously.

"So why Todd Howard?"

You really got me to LOL hard on this one.

Good start. I'd say in addition, make it so no one's gear actually shows up, everyone's in their underwear. Some people having sets from difficult things can make others feel bad about themselves so this streamlines things to make everyone feel included.

Give everyone access to everyone's houses. The housing system is already unfair, making it so everyone can use anyone's house whenever they want makes things a more even playing field. Someone worked hard for all their housing items and decorating their house? Oh well, someone else wants to use it too.

Remove all abilities from the game except for one - tanks get a taunt ability that does no damage and just provokes/generates threat, healers only have a healing spell, and DPS only have a damage skill.

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Originally Posted by Zebraoracle

Give everyone access to everyone's houses.

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Yes. I want to sneak in on all the ERP! YOU. ARE. NOT. SAFE!!!

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Originally Posted by Zebraoracle

Good start. I'd say in addition, make it so no one's gear actually shows up, everyone's in their underwear..

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Are you crazy? My ass looks like a deflated pancake (also known as crepe by the french, which sounds awfully similar to something coming out of the butt).

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Originally Posted by SassyAssassin

Are you crazy? My ass looks like a deflated pancake

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pics or it didn't happen.

Just let Elon Musk handle it. He's doing such a great job with Twitter.

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Originally Posted by Renalt

pics or it didn't happen.

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My butt is shy, you first to break the ice

I'm pretty sure the only way to make the game better is to just delete the forums.

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Originally Posted by SassyAssassin

My butt is shy, you first to break the ice

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So I'm gonna have to world visit and pull a lalafell and happen to run by, trip and fall, and land at your feet huh?

Also for whatever reason that reminded me of the longest game name ever...which is more a synopsis than a title...

Summer-Colored High School Adolescent Record – A Summer At School On An Island Where I Contemplate How The First Day After I Transferred, I Ran Into A Childhood Friend And Was Forced To Join The Journalism Club Where While My Days As A Paparazzi Kid With Great Scoops Made Me Rather Popular Among The Girls, But Strangely My Camera Is Full Of Panty Shots, And Where My Candid Romance Is Going.

Yeah...that's the game title.

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Originally Posted by Renalt

So I'm gonna have to world visit and pull a lalafell and happen to run by, trip and fall, and land at your feet huh?

Also for whatever reason that reminded me of the longest game name ever...which is more a synopsis than a title...

Summer-Colored High School Adolescent Record – A Summer At School On An Island Where I Contemplate How The First Day After I Transferred, I Ran Into A Childhood Friend And Was Forced To Join The Journalism Club Where While My Days As A Paparazzi Kid With Great Scoops Made Me Rather Popular Among The Girls, But Strangely My Camera Is Full Of Panty Shots, And Where My Candid Romance Is Going.

Yeah...that's the game title.

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Unfortunately square stands between all of us since we can’t world transfer, so my flatbunyybutt remains a mystery :(

That game sounds very interesting, Im pretty sure if I was a 15 year old boy Id give it a try xD.

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Originally Posted by PirateRyanG

Since we are moving FF14 development out of Japan (I forgot about that part), we need a team that can give the Japanese-vibe no matter where the game is being developed (likely Romania, to cut costs).

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Set it in a school, forced JP audio, but add subtitles that are wildly inaccurate?

https://i.gyazo.com/30da3355d3db3969...dd7c5d5277.png

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Originally Posted by Valkyrie_Lenneth

I'm pretty sure the only way to make the game better is to just delete the forums.

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And receive only feedback from the cesspits that are reddit and twitter? No thanks. At least we know we're a cesspit.

The characters should use "San" and "Sama" and "Chan" because it's a Japanese game and I find it ultra offensive that this is not in the English dub. This is what defines if I enjoy Japanese media or not.

Hehe...

If this was serious i would have given a kidney for someone to save FF14 from you.

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Originally Posted by Zebraoracle

And receive only feedback from the cesspits that are reddit and twitter? No thanks. At least we know we're a cesspit.

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There's feedback? All I see are those being echo chambers where any criticism gets downvoted to hell.

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Originally Posted by Midareyukki

There's feedback? All I see are those being echo chambers where any criticism gets downvoted to hell.

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Yeah. Reddit is a cesspit and an echo chamber.

Reddit has been designed to boost the 'good' opinions and hide the bad ones. Not just on the FF14 sub, but across the board.

Too many downvotes mean that you get shadowbanned from a sub, further hiding a view that is contrary to what the people in that sub believe. You try arguing an opinion with dozens of people piling onto you when you can respond just once every 10 minutes because the downvotes won't stop.

This means that people are always looking for upvotes. In order to get those upvotes, they often embellish things. Things then often get so embellished that the real truth becomes somewhat murky. This is because people are afraid to say the real truth because of said downvotes. It is especially prevalent on any gaming, news, or political subreddit. Don't you dare have a balanced viewpoint on any of those. Oh no. You're just asking for trouble.

Have a good view of things that people disagree with? Well, expect the following to happen:

- RUSSIAN BOT!

- CHINESE BOT!

- WELL I LOOKED AT YOUR POST HISTORY FROM...AND YOU SAID...

- SORRY. ALL ACCOUNTS LESS THAN 2 YEARS OLD ARE CLEARLY PAID SHILLS.

Sadly, the prevalence of Reddit has meant that this frame of mind has managed to creep into many other social media channels.

I don't mind Twitter as much. While it is a cesspit of opinions sometimes, the system has been designed to promote both good and bad ones. If you have an awful opinion, it tends to get promoted because it has so many interactions with it. Twitter has other issues.

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Originally Posted by PirateRyanG

Yeah. Reddit is a cesspit and an echo chamber.

Reddit has been designed to boost the 'good' opinions and hide the bad ones. Not just on the FF14 sub, but across the board.

Too many downvotes mean that you get shadowbanned from a sub, further hiding a view that is contrary to what the people in that sub believe. You try arguing an opinion with dozens of people piling onto you when you can respond just once every 10 minutes because the downvotes won't stop.

This means that people are always looking for upvotes. In order to get those upvotes, they often embellish things. Things then often get so embellished that the real truth becomes somewhat murky. This is because people are afraid to say the real truth because of said downvotes. It is especially prevalent on any gaming, news, or political subreddit. Don't you dare have a balanced viewpoint on any of those. Oh no. You're just asking for trouble.

Have a good view of things that people disagree with? Well, expect the following to happen:

- RUSSIAN BOT!

- CHINESE BOT!

- WELL I LOOKED AT YOUR POST HISTORY FROM...AND YOU SAID...

- SORRY. ALL ACCOUNTS LESS THAN 2 YEARS OLD ARE CLEARLY PAID SHILLS.

Sadly, the prevalence of Reddit has meant that this frame of mind has managed to creep into many other social media channels.

I don't mind Twitter as much. While it is a cesspit of opinions sometimes, the system has been designed to promote both good and bad ones. If you have an awful opinion, it tends to get promoted because it has so many interactions with it. Twitter has other issues.

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Yeah I absolutely cannot stand reddit and only use it when I have to. It's just, ugh, I don't understand why people can't survive without echo chambers. It's mind boggling. Criticizing FF14 isn't akin to murdering your mother, and no criticism and saying everything is perfect and good just leads to stagnation. How do people not understand this?

We need portraits of bowls of fruit!

Square would have to change the rating to mature, but it would be worth it. It's not like Square needs the profits by making it available to a larger audience.

Sorry, but your MMORPG is in another game company.

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Originally Posted by DiaDeem

The characters should use "San" and "Sama" and "Chan" because it's a Japanese game and I find it ultra offensive that this is not in the English dub. This is what defines if I enjoy Japanese media or not.

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They could have at least done that in Kugane

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Originally Posted by SassyAssassin

My butt is shy, you first to break the ice

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I will always take a dare.

https://i.ibb.co/JRvqqzD/ffxiv-10302022-202041-075.png

Matron's Teats! Godbert's bum has met it's match.

Make Godbert the main character. Our PC can serve him instead of serving the scions.

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Originally Posted by PirateRyanG

10. Streamline Satasha (no more looking at the colour of clam)

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not the colours D:

It's weird though, it's marked users ignored for me when I try to read the OP.

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Originally Posted by Renalt

I will always take a dare.

https://i.ibb.co/JRvqqzD/ffxiv-10302022-202041-075.png

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Balmung players, man...

This will fail because there is 0 mention of a badonkadonk slider

Ok so here is my idea.
We sacrifice half of the playerbase to rework the game.
Then when new players come, we sacrifice those new players to bring the old ones back.
It's a perfect plan if you ask me.

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Originally Posted by Griss

This will fail because there is 0 mention of a badonkadonk slider

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Yoooo yes let me make my hroth's ass actually muscled instead of so flat the slider value would be negative!

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Originally Posted by PirateRyanG

3. Hire an American developer, preferably Todd Howard.

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I mean, the atomic shop is already built into the game. lmao

*pulls you aside*
Seriously though, that's not funny. Elder Scrolls and it's brother Elder Scrolls with Guns died that way. It was a really messy scene. :/

Todd? Oh no. Will be hard to find a game between so many bugs. But a Giant that can send you to stratosphere sounds fun.

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Originally Posted by RobynDaBank

Balmung players, man...

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I'm not apologizing. : )

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Originally Posted by Zebraoracle

Yoooo yes let me make my hroth's ass actually muscled instead of so flat the slider value would be negative!

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You know that will never happen right?
Not because it cant be done...but because even YoshiP senpai knows what kind of Calamity he will unleash on Eorzea if he Unlocked the hidden power of Bara Butt on Hrothgar.
Hrothgar Cake is too Dangerous and to powerful for Mortal Man to Wield.

Please give my viera some booty, SE. It's unfair that voidsent have all the cake.

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Originally Posted by ronibosch

Please give my viera some booty, SE. It's unfair that voidsent have all the cake.

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And me. I don't do squats all day for nothing.

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Originally Posted by Zanarkand-Ronso

You know that will never happen right?
Not because it cant be done...but because even YoshiP senpai knows what kind of Calamity he will unleash on Eorzea if he Unlocked the hidden power of Bara Butt on Hrothgar.
Hrothgar Cake is too Dangerous and to powerful for Mortal Man to Wield.

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Pfeh... Weakling.

No wonder he plays a Lalafell and a Femra. Guy can't handle cake to save his life.

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Originally Posted by Midareyukki

Pfeh... Weakling.

No wonder he plays a Lalafell and a Femra. Guy can't handle cake to save his life.

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Bro my cake doesn't even need to be substantial, it just needs to *actually exist*. Hroths have the most Hank Hill freaking booty ever. They have negative ass. Their butts are so non-existent they look deformed.

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Originally Posted by Zebraoracle

Bro my cake doesn't even need to be substantial, it just needs to *actually exist*. Hroths have the most Hank Hill freaking booty ever. They have negative ass. Their butts are so non-existent they look deformed.

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The need for cake is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.

That and fanart exists. We have confirmation from Kimahri that Spiran Ronsos have a bubble butt, so... yeah.

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Originally Posted by Midareyukki

The need for cake is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.

That and fanart exists. We have confirmation from Kimahri that Spiran Ronsos have a bubble butt, so... yeah.

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Ah snugglebunnies now you are trying to summon Khimari Cake.
The mighty Elder Ronso Blueberry Cake is not a Recipe to be Trifled with. Im not even sure if Ignis (best husbando accept no substitute) can bake a cake of this Magnitude.