How FF14 can be saved

[PirateRyanG]

It is pretty evident that FF14 is in its dying gasps. I can hear those death throes, and it isn't pretty.

As my server is down to the last 8 people online (in this trial I am in), I suggest we make the following changes.

1. Fire Yoshi P.
2. Give Yoshi P a second job at Squaresoft so he doesn't become a cult leader, because he seems to be heading that way.
3. Hire an American developer, preferably Todd Howard.
4. Hire a British developer, one of the Houser brothers will do.
5. Remove Bard
6. Remove the mentor system
7. Give Tataru a bikini scene.
8. Give girl Alphinaud a bikini scene.
9. Eliminate OCE to save reduce costs.
10. Streamline Satasha (no more looking at the colour of clam)
11. Translate game to Swedish
12. Actively encourage ERP.
13. Keep everything else the same.

So, why Todd Howard?

Todd Howard is a game developer that worked exceedingly hard to get into the industry. He was rejected by Bethesda around 10 times. Each time he was rejected, he took note of changes that he could make. improved himself, then tried again. When he finally was hired, he was made a project lead within a year for his crazy ability. I want that dynamic get-go nature on the game. Somebody who is not afraid of being told "no" because he is always going to improve.

Why the Houser brothers? As GTA has proved, Rockstar are capable of parodying American culture, despite being British-based. So well in fact that many people are unaware that GTA is British (and where the bulk of the development remains).

Since we are moving FF14 development out of Japan (I forgot about that part), we need a team that can give the Japanese-vibe no matter where the game is being developed (likely Romania, to cut costs).

[Renalt]

You know I kinda missed you doing these. Can't wait for Firemage to take this seriously.

"So why Todd Howard?"

You really got me to LOL hard on this one.

[Zebraoracle]

Good start. I'd say in addition, make it so no one's gear actually shows up, everyone's in their underwear. Some people having sets from difficult things can make others feel bad about themselves so this streamlines things to make everyone feel included.

Give everyone access to everyone's houses. The housing system is already unfair, making it so everyone can use anyone's house whenever they want makes things a more even playing field. Someone worked hard for all their housing items and decorating their house? Oh well, someone else wants to use it too.

Remove all abilities from the game except for one - tanks get a taunt ability that does no damage and just provokes/generates threat, healers only have a healing spell, and DPS only have a damage skill.

[Renalt]

Give everyone access to everyone's houses.

Yes. I want to sneak in on all the ERP! YOU. ARE. NOT. SAFE!!!

[SassyAssassin]

Good start. I'd say in addition, make it so no one's gear actually shows up, everyone's in their underwear..

Are you crazy? My ass looks like a deflated pancake (also known as crepe by the french, which sounds awfully similar to something coming out of the butt).

[Renalt]

Are you crazy? My ass looks like a deflated pancake

pics or it didn't happen.

[SassyAssassin]

pics or it didn't happen.

My butt is shy, you first to break the ice

[Renalt]

My butt is shy, you first to break the ice

So I'm gonna have to world visit and pull a lalafell and happen to run by, trip and fall, and land at your feet huh?

Also for whatever reason that reminded me of the longest game name ever...which is more a synopsis than a title...

Summer-Colored High School Adolescent Record – A Summer At School On An Island Where I Contemplate How The First Day After I Transferred, I Ran Into A Childhood Friend And Was Forced To Join The Journalism Club Where While My Days As A Paparazzi Kid With Great Scoops Made Me Rather Popular Among The Girls, But Strangely My Camera Is Full Of Panty Shots, And Where My Candid Romance Is Going.

Yeah...that's the game title.

[TheMightyMollusk]

Just let Elon Musk handle it. He's doing such a great job with Twitter.

[Valkyrie_Lenneth]

I'm pretty sure the only way to make the game better is to just delete the forums.