Dating & Romance Rant

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Originally Posted by Wilford111

To the females who are saying that a relationship is something that develops naturally out of a normal friendship.... I mean no disrespect, but I feel like that's not how it works of you're a male, since is traditionally up to the guys to make that push to relationship status. So it would make sense if, in a female's perspective, it would seem like it just happens.

Please forgive me if I'm wrong, I really don't want to come across as rude or ignorant. This is just how I feel about the situation.

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Yeah, 30 year old male. You're definitely wrong.

I'm coming at this from an old codgers perspective so take it as you wish. To meet someone it helps to have a large social circle. This needs to be people nearby where you have an opportunity to interact in person. Why not online? To me this is more like trying to keep a remote relationship alive long term which is rarely successful. The reason for the large circle is it allows you to meet more people and start relationships without the pressure of it having to be romantic. They don't have to be close friends or confidants but should generally be people you like to be around and where you have some common interests. While you might find someone within the group, just as likely is people in the group will know others who might be compatible. Keep it light and over time you will find someone or be pointed to someone who would be worth trying to get to know. Another advantage is this should help you become more outgoing as you become comfortable around the group.

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Originally Posted by Wilford111

I think the real problem here is that due to me not being a very social person, I don't have many friends; which is also why I feel so nervous about losing any.

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Just want to add in here that it doesn't have to be all or nothing. You can show casual interest in your friends to gauge their interest, and still be friends if they aren't. A big part of the issue is that you're looking at romantic relationship status as an achievement you can fail to obtain, and that if you do fail the awkwardness will kill the friendship. It's just a label for what a preexisting relationship has become, and not making that transition doesn't have to be awkward unless you make it awkward. Expressing casual interest is also good for you regardless of the outcome because it lets the other person know you were interested and leaves the ball in their court. If things ever do change, they'll let you know. If friendship is all they want, you get to keep a cool friend.

I too was looking for romance , a irl girl palying a cute femmale miqo'te got no where and felt like giving up trying hard to socialze and mingle, but also overlooked ike i was invisable, i was kind and helpful got calle cute and so nice person that anyone would be lucky to have me. But i did meet someone and they were amazing and i made them feel happy and and them me, for once in my life i felt alive , we had ups and downs , then a friend wanted to marry in game and i hadnt fully opened my feelings to them , was too scred to tell them my feelings was shy, we would marry after but as soon as i said yes, the guilt triped my love into trying to leave me my lover was getting strssed but didnt want to upset them, then after 3 days of tying to get them to stop they changed and as nice and sweet and charming, saying they loved them they needed them, they still gotmarried, and then they got just wanted them to themselves and i found out they were a anctual sociapth, my ex now said they knew they had told them, i felt them slipping away, then after tey said they will fix it, just dumped me. I was in pieces, be alone all my life apart from living with family, then to oose soemthimg amnazing due to someones greed. I hope to find some like them again, a cute female cat who play almost everyday all day who whould want something more than a fun ingame thing. But many only want that.

It will happen when you least expect it and aren't looking. Trust me.
There is someone for everybody, I truly believe that.

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Originally Posted by DarksiderAlpha

I too was looking for romance , a irl girl palying a cute femmale miqo'te got no where and felt like giving up trying hard to socialze and mingle, but also overlooked ike i was invisable, i was kind and helpful got calle cute and so nice person that anyone would be lucky to have me. But i did meet someone and they were amazing and i made them feel happy and and them me, for once in my life i felt alive , we had ups and downs , then a friend wanted to marry in game and i hadnt fully opened my feelings to them , was too scred to tell them my feelings was shy, we would marry after but as soon as i said yes, the guilt triped my love into trying to leave me my lover was getting strssed but didnt want to upset them, then after 3 days of tying to get them to stop they changed and as nice and sweet and charming, saying they loved them they needed them, they still gotmarried, and then they got just wanted them to themselves and i found out they were a anctual sociapth, my ex now said they knew they had told them, i felt them slipping away, then after tey said they will fix it, just dumped me. I was in pieces, be alone all my life apart from living with family, then to oose soemthimg amnazing due to someones greed. I hope to find some like them again, a cute female cat who play almost everyday all day who whould want something more than a fun ingame thing. But many only want that.

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I''ll be honest - It's hard, really hard, to transfer an in-game relationship to real-life (if I'm correctly understanding what you are saying). The world is way too dangerous for that. It happens, I know but (I would think) a very small percentage of the time.
My son met a rl girlfriend that way (it's over but she ended up being "normal") and not stalker-movie bait.

As far as in-game, are you on an RP server at all? I have a similar in-game story. Fell hard for the cutest Miquo'te I've ever seen then she tossed me to the curb.
For another goddess-damned Miquo'te. Us Hyurs just can't compete with the kittens :(

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Originally Posted by TattersailNightwish

I''ll be honest - It's hard, really hard, to transfer an in-game relationship to real-life (if I'm correctly understanding what you are saying). The world is way too dangerous for that. It happens, I know but (I would think) a very small percentage of the time.
My son met a rl girlfriend that way (it's over but she ended up being "normal") and not stalker-movie bait.

As far as in-game, are you on an RP server at all? I have a similar in-game story. Fell hard for the cutest Miquo'te I've ever seen then she tossed me to the curb.
For another goddess-damned Miquo'te. Us Hyurs just can't compete with the kittens :(

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No one takes a kitty home to mama! Teh mens find themselves a nice Midlander gal when ready to settle down.

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Originally Posted by Gemina

No one takes a kitty home to mama! Teh mens find themselves a nice Midlander gal when ready to settle down.

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OH! So it's have all your fun with the kitties, ply them with catnip, then settle down with a Midlander? :)

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Originally Posted by Wilford111

There were topics about dating and stuff like that, but when I look at girls' profiles, I can see that already dozens of guys were chatting with them, and I wondered why I should bother.

I'm not that social of a person, especially when I compare myself to other guys. What do I have to offer that other guys don't? Heck if I know. I feel so much like giving up. In this kind of fandom, I understand there are more guys than girls. I don't feel like I can compare to other guys. So what's the point in trying?

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Coming from a girl who has posted on the EB thread a few times, actually if you're not a creep, you have a very strong fighting chance, lmao. Tons of guys replied to me each time. Very few of them treated me like a normal person and didn't just open up with the most groan inducing pick up lines/ thirsty messages. It's quality over quantity, my dude. And when it comes to individuality, there's no competition to speak of. You might actually be exactly what someone is looking for. Take that risk anyway, and try to find any common ground. I am strongly introverted myself and most social interactions are anxiety inducing, even outside of anything to do with relationships. You have to just keep putting yourself out there. Friendships happen slowly for people like ourselves, but there's one obvious path to guaranteeing they will never happen at all. With that said, I do think the only successful long term relationships are born from a foundation of friendship. Just focus on making good friends. :>

The threads that people fish out of the abyss of the forums...holey moley hahaha