The Many Deaths of Final Fantasy XIV

Oh, yes, I went through all these "calamities". I am glad to know that OP is here to update yet another one of those.

God, this is so salty. I love it.

I'm so glad this is getting updated i'll need to get lots of chips(french fries for american people) popcorn and faggots (the food)

It really puts things into perspective. People have always been complaining and "unsubbing" based on announcements. Pretty hilarious.

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Originally Posted by Violyre

If someone doesn’t bother to even look at the post, how would I be able to demonstrate what it is in the first place?

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I don't know, having a wall of text probably longer than a medical text book deters quite a bit of people.

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Originally Posted by Gula

I don't know, having a wall of text probably longer than a medical text book deters quite a bit of people.

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That sounds like a “you” problem. If you have a better way to format this that doesn’t make people have to scroll through multiple replies from other people, please, do share.

You can also check the tags before going into the thread. One of them is “satire.” Even the thread title should be a clue, because the game is still going strong.

I feel as if I’ve done my part to inform people that they’re coming in for laughs, and not serious business.

OP is back!

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Originally Posted by Gula

I don't know, having a wall of text probably longer than a medical text book deters quite a bit of people.

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Ah yes, reading is a great deterrent to the current generation. Maybe we can get this thread as an ASMR video or audiobook for the newer folks.

The OP has proper paragraphs and breaks for easy readability. Not reading and just judging is why we have so many issues these days, especially in regards to this game.


Someone complained the expansion will have limited zones cuz no weather or day/night cycle, ignoring completely that the devs stated the MSQ also returns those features to the world.

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Originally Posted by Dualgunner

OP is back!

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Lol after the last few times I updated this, it seemed people weren’t as interested, so I had just kind of let it die. I actually just came to link it to a Facebook post (I have it bookmarked), and decided to see if anyone had come back to it.

Seems there is some interest though. :D I’ve kept tabs on the community, but there’s a few things that I don’t quite understand, like Pagos issues (Ignored all Pagos info because I hated Anemos anywsys lol). So I may need help on some of that.

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Originally Posted by Valkyrie_Lenneth

The OP has proper paragraphs and breaks for easy readability. Not reading and just judging is why we have so many issues these days, especially in regards to this game.

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Thank you. I was starting to worry that my definition of “wall of text” was wrong. I alwsys defined it as “no breaks in a lengthy post.”

I admit that my format for each individual number could use paragraph breaks, but I try to keep them together based on my original format.

Cactuar is proud of you, OP.

You know you can do any of the primal fights with Echo turned off now. Also with minimum ilevel. I'm not sure your point in typing that laundry list. I didn't read all that because it would have made my head hurt. Regardless, my point is if you're going to compile a list, might ought to do some research on certain facts.

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Originally Posted by Arazehl

You know you can do any of the primal fights with Echo turned off now. Also with minimum ilevel. I'm not sure your point in typing that laundry list. I didn't read all that because it would have made my head hurt. Regardless, my point is if you're going to compile a list, might ought to do some research on certain facts.

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Each numbered thing is a product of the time it was added. That specific one, people complained before the knowledge that you could turn it off.

I started with 10, which that one was in, and those were made out of historical issues.

You might want to research the purpose of this thread.

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Originally Posted by Arazehl

You know you can do any of the primal fights with Echo turned off now. Also with minimum ilevel. I'm not sure your point in typing that laundry list. I didn't read all that because it would have made my head hurt. Regardless, my point is if you're going to compile a list, might ought to do some research on certain facts.

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It's satire. Maybe you should read it before complaining.

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Originally Posted by Valkyrie_Lenneth

It's satire. Maybe you should read it before complaining.

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Passive aggressive level: 99

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Originally Posted by Arazehl

You know you can do any of the primal fights with Echo turned off now. Also with minimum ilevel. I'm not sure your point in typing that laundry list. I didn't read all that because it would have made my head hurt. Regardless, my point is if you're going to compile a list, might ought to do some research on certain facts.

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This is probably where you should have stopped, taken a step back and realized that this entire thread is satirical.

Love this thread. Looking forward to the update. Raubahn Savage in particular.

Time for the big FIVE ZERO. You’ve waited for over two years now, and there’s only one topic that can fit! It’s skipped Heavensward and Stormblood, and skipped right to Shadowbringers! That’s right, you know what it is!

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50. It’s an Expansion, Not a DLC!

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I’m kidding. Welcome to the thread. We do funny stuff here.

But it’s still a special occasion! So welcome to the very first multi-paragraph death! With a super size side of salt!

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50. The End of the World as We Know It

At the North American Fanfest, there were three major things announced within the first hour. Two new classes, Blue Mage and Gunbreaker, as well as Bugs Bunny being the next new race. The last one received some updated information from the European Fanfest that we would recieve the popular Viera race from the games in the Ivalice Alliance. Many people were thrilled, but others questioned why didn’t they try to show some originality and show off the males as well. SE understood the plight, and told people to wait for the Japanese Fanfest.

When that day rolled around, people were hugging their Big Chungus dakimakuras in anticipation of the reveal, only to rage when it was revealed that SE actually semi-tried to be original and made an altered Ronso. Even worse, it was male only! The ERP community was furious, and so was everyone else! “Why would you try to stick to lore?” bellowed the community. “You’ve dashed my dreams of me sticking to lore using a male viera!” cried Balmung server. “Guys, you know there were gunblades in FFXIII too, right?” this poster said, getting drowned out by the SJWs.

It was the biggest divide in the game’s history. This made 1.0 look like the best idea ever, despite it also having race and gender locks. Giving everyone Savage gear in normal mode was preferable. Never giving us another healer looked better. Every single person realized that this was the ultimate fight, the one that would really end everything. Every player was united. It was then that everyone understood something they’d seen before:

“No fight left to fight. No life left to live. Ho, it comes! The end - your end!”

SE knew that this would be the end, and made a little gremlin to tell us as soon as the first trailer. The barren landscape in that trailer was proof. Why create new areas, when no one would be playing? The true Shadowbringers were SE themselves.

Many players quit the game at this point, causing SE to take the servers offline because the game was no longer profitable.

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Was it worth the wait? Probably not. Did I have fun writing it? I damn well did.

And since I’m getting “wall of text” complaints despite it not being a wall of text, I think I’m going to redo the original post when I go to add this one in. Going to put them all in individual quote bubbles. On top of breaking it up a little, I can actually split up some into shorter paragraphs. Think that might help?

You go OP. This community could use getting taken down a notch or two.

This thread is magic. Greg is proud, very proud of Cactuar's resident historians. ♥

Need to add one "Added glasses for Viera and Rothgar, game is dying!"

Ultimate delayed. Add it to the list.

Sage job symbol change. We are truly in the end times.

a necro'd thread I can approve of, these are end times indeed. the servers will shut down any day now....

(at some point I may have to read all 27 pages to see how this game is really not here any more because its... well... dead Jim, I'm a whm, not a programmer...)

I guess its time to add Endwalker and the new housing debacle to the list of things killing XIV

Wow this thread is an oldy but moldy one!

The game dies every other week, it seems. Yet we're still here.

Who needs a necromancer class, we're already raising the dead.

I remember that one time I was hooking up with this Au Ra female and I found out she didnt have a futa dick so I quit the game. They had to shut down the servers cause it was no longer profitable.

BTW OPs post was a treat to read.

help! these necros are making me feel old!

I feel like with all the recent doomsaying we can add endwalker, G'raha Tia burgers, criterion, relics, and casuals (again probably) to the list.



People like to talk about how the game was good before and all, but I always remember this post and how it's been dead since it relaunched.

I just realized that the way OP wrote their post reminds me a lot of the way the namazu tribal cutscenes were written which came out several years later. Truly a visionary ahead of their time.

I'm gonna pull a Pyro here and stop reading about 2/3 of the way through.

Time to add taco graha, the new world, and vacation scions with Dawntrails first tease.

The doom posting will never stop. Some people here on the forums need a reminder that, no, people weren't always happy and things weren't always greener. This thread is the proof of that.

Necroing a post from 2014? Get some help.

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Originally Posted by Rolder50

Necroing a post from 2014? Get some help.

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Meh, I'm on board with it. Not to dismiss real issues, but some people act like we're living in the "End Times" of FFXIV, but depending on who/when you ask it has always been the End Times.

You can find people who say FFXIV is dead, WoW is dead, ESO is dead, GW2 is dead. They've all been "dead" for years and years, even when new content is being made for them.

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Originally Posted by Rolder50

Necroing a post from 2014? Get some help.

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This one's still relevant, and has been updated over the years :p.





The last post isn't from 2014. And the last post from the OP is post shadowbringers.

Recently I've started watching the "Worst MMO Ever" series on youtube, and in it the narrator, Josh Strife Hayes, uses a term called "quit moment." This is a point in a game where players might feel like it's just not worth continuing due to the sheer amount of BS they've just been hit with. I don't believe the things people mention in this thread are enough to kill the game, obviously. The game is still here. But I do believe they qualify as quit moments for various people. For example, the most recent thing to resurrect this pertinent thread was the mention of Dawntrail's release trailer. But I'd go a step further and add the recent interviews Yoshida did, where he basically doubled down on gameplay elements that many people on these "feedback" forums have criticized for years. Learning that the devs basically don't care about feedback and probably won't stop dumbing things down until every job is as boring as WHM, is a quit moment for anyone who enjoys this game for its gameplay elements. Likewise, most of my closest friends no longer play this game anymore, and their "quit moment" was when they realized how long the game went without content despite being a subscription game. "Pay for 3 months [at the time] of nothing?" they said. "No way." and they quit, and never felt the urge to return. After they uninstalled, some of them also admitted that simply reinstalling the game would be such a pain in the ass that they couldn't be bothered. The bizarre difficulty involved in just acquiring the game at all, is imo another quit moment. I could go on but I won't.

I think dawntrail's gonna be hella successful at launch, and then its player numbers will fall off a cliff until 7.1, where we'll see another slight bump, followed by another dip until 7.2, with the overall returners getting lower and lower until it hits an all time low in 7.5. Then we'll see a huge spike for 8.0, followed by more of the same. This pattern's always been a thing and if you can accept it, that's great. But for people who enjoy the game for its multiplayer elements and maybe want to, idk, form a guild or maintain a static, it can be really difficult to keep those things going when everyone's trying to quit and the game doesn't even try to keep them around. Basically this pattern sucks balls for anyone trying to actually get shit done, and so that pattern eventually becomes its own quitting moment.

but the game isnt deing.. its still the best game on the market... right now the game is in bad health due to content luls and poor cash shop decisions, but its not deing at all. and theres no real evidence to claim otherwise (i swear if u try to cite that luckbanchos thing-) during dawntrail the game will improve in players again and people will priase the game all over. this is simply how this games life goes. do i hope for fixed, god yes. but i wont pretend the game is gona die anytime soon

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Originally Posted by Avoidy

Likewise, most of my closest friends no longer play this game anymore, and their "quit moment" was when they realized how long the game went without content despite being a subscription game. "Pay for 3 months [at the time] of nothing?" they said. "No way." and they quit, and never felt the urge to return.

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I haven't played other MMOs to compare, but isn't that just the structure of the game? You pay for access to play the game in its current state, and "the current state" gets updates every so often. You're only paying for nothing if you don't actually want to play during that period.

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Originally Posted by Iscah

I haven't played other MMOs to compare, but isn't that just the structure of the game? You pay for access to play the game in its current state, and "the current state" gets updates every so often. You're only paying for nothing if you don't actually want to play during that period.

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Unless it's City of Heroes Homecoming. A game that the NCSoft dropped the ball on and the fans picked it up and ran like Forrest Gump. And yes...they are still running that ball. It still gets new Power Sets and "patches" ( Called Issues ) and quite often.