Using autism and cancer in comments and as a derogatory term...

Being offended has no meaning, being offended for someone else even less so.

So..just curious...why do you HAVE to use these terminologies when there are so many other words in the English language to express the same thing? To be honest, I think its just for the shock value, wanna be cool, wanna offend, wanna offend so that you can get offended someone got offended by it and also the fact that not utilizing expressions that can easily express the sentiments you feel WITHOUT using these words makes a person think that you are not thinking for yourself and instead conforming to what others of your perceived "peer" group word usage. This whole thing can be avoided (don't even tell me what has meaning to me or what doesn't, I'll make up my own mind thank you about that, I've had over 50 years to do just that..I think I got it, thanks). I've seen trends come and go, this is a trend, it will go just like the others.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by LaurieB

So..just curious...why do you HAVE to use these terminologies when there are so many other words in the English language to express the same thing? To be honest, I think its just for the shock value, wanna be cool, wanna offend, wanna offend so that you can get offended someone got offended by it and also the fact that not utilizing expressions that can easily express the sentiments you feel WITHOUT using these words makes a person think that you are not thinking for yourself and instead conforming to what others of your perceived "peer" group word usage. This whole thing can be avoided (don't even tell me what has meaning to me or what doesn't, I'll make up my own mind thank you about that, I've had over 50 years to do just that..I think I got it, thanks). I've seen trends come and go, this is a trend, it will go just like the others.

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Or people can just mind their own business and not stick their nose into other people's conversation.

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Originally Posted by Gwenorai

Just how the internet is these days, it's best to wear a tougher skin otherwise it's going to eat you alive and have you sobbing at memes. Ain't the best solution but better than the sobbing alternative.

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You can call people out for poor behavior (publicly if needed) without letting it "eat you alive" or having you "sobbing at memes."

This thread was a wild ride up until page 16, lol.

I want to say, when people say the N word (either one of them honestly) I really REALLY hate it, and if online...
Honestly? I just ignore it. I have to agree with a lot of people here, you should block them and try and have fun with the game
and not let people like them get under your skin.

Words do hurt, and I understand that but you really shouldn't be so upset that you have to switch centers over it.
There are cruel people wherever you go, and you may very well meet someone who will say another word not to your liking.
You're letting them win, by wasting your money from hopping place to place over it.
People are very petty online because they can get away with it because they're behind a screen.

Ignore and try and have fun with the game! :eek:

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Originally Posted by Wynn_Storm

What he said was calling something cancer, such as "This boss is cancer"

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There is that boss in the Rabanaste raid that mentioned cancer too. x:
I kinda feel bad if OP had saw that.

as someone with autism it doesn't really bother me. that said i can understand why it could be offensive to my fellow neuroatypicals. but it's not cool and it's not a good look to be offended on behalf of other people. it just makes you look foolish. my common rebuttal to these types of jabs is to tell them that from the bottom of my heart i sincerely hope that if they have children that they come out autistic. maybe it won't be as funny to them then :^)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by JustJon

Context - the circumstances that form the setting for an event, statement, or idea, and in terms of which it can be fully understood.



Okay, okay what this person said is quite improbable, implying that someones Damage Per Second has given them a group of diseases involving abnormal cell growth with the potential to invade or spread to other parts of the body. These contrast with benign tumours, which do not spread.



This is a quote of many quotes not understanding the context to what I mean, even though I fully understand what this person is saying guess what if it was said in this manner this would of 'gone over my head' as does most things I apparently have to grow a thicker skin/stoneskin for and other analogies.



Refer to the first quote by me in this post, thanks for clearing up the context for me!



For context this is a serious case of 'a pot calling the kettle black'. Although I do also understand what this person is saying, however, to put into context. If someone in a Free Company asks me a question on say a level 37 DoH skill Brand of Lightning and on its workings I will go into as much detail as I can because it is a very useful with a Level 54 DoH skill Name of Lightning to give most craft a element focus thus increasing the % of progress especially Heavensward 35/70 Durability crafts when you are on the same level as the craft.

What I mention above is an actual event as is this one below.

However, a lot of the time when someone **coughs** RyuujinZERO simply mentions that they simply just had not enough CP to complete a craft, I'd look through the Free Company UI and look at their Search Info determining how I can possibly help this person by looking at thier DoH levels, I offer help and I proceed to get several wall of texts on how crafting works! I'm not exaggerating either.

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Learn when to let go. There's no helping your case anymore.

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Originally Posted by RyuujinZERO

TIL I'm intolerant of myself.

- One of OP's former FC members



Seriously though. Soul Assassin here dropped out of our company with nary a word said leaving us all scratching our heads; doubly so because he'd vanished off our friends lists too suggesting he didn't just leave the FC; but completely abandoned the shard and left us with no way to ask him what happened.

I've seen the "Your DPS gave me cancer" quote before; but I feel he's leaving out an important context: It was in the form of a multi-line ASCII macro of a moogle lying in a bed surrounded by other moogles, captioned 'Your DPS gave me cancer"; very uncouth and perhaps distasteful but, comically executed. It wasn't directed at Soul or anyone in particular, it was just one of the guys sharing a variety of silly macros he had prepared and on standby. The only time I ever saw it used was in a private party and even then, jokingly.

As for using 'autistic' as an insult; it might be me who was guilty of using that phrase; as well as "'sperging out" - referring to Asperger Syndrome. But here's the kicker... I'm on the autistic spectrum, I feel this is my 'my word' to use. Much like people in the black or gay community can use certain words others cannot without it being deemed horrifically offensive. (For context I tend to use it when someone is obsessing over minutia or displaying their extreme focus on a topic; something Soul did often :p)



Soul, if you had a problem you should have probably just brought it up with the people who said it, or an officer. Dropping out the FC with nary a word, transferring to a different server, and the creating a thread seeking pity seems like a rather extreme over-reaction :p

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Great googly moogly, kupo. I wondered why this thread was still going, but this post was worth coming back for.

For the love of all that is holy, unholy and just dang sane...LET! THE THREAD! DIE! Please, for all our sake, just let it die so we can go talk about using lalas as footballs or something!

"Or people can just mind their own business and not stick their nose into other people's conversation." Public forum...if you want privacy...go get a room.

I honestly can't wait for this thread to leave the first page. It makes me sick just to look at it and remember it's content.

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Originally Posted by LaurieB

"Or people can just mind their own business and not stick their nose into other people's conversation." Public forum...if you want privacy...go get a room.

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Ain't about privacy, this thread was dead and solved like...10 some pages ago. At this point it's just beating a dead horse. Sorry, just kinda tired of seeing my own disease get thrown around by someone as bait for drama or whatever.

EDIT
I have mild autism, thought that should be clarified. Don't really care if ya joke on it, just kinda tired of how OP is swinging it around.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by JustJon

snip

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I can't believe you have the audacity to show your face back in this thread, after you were exposed by your former GC member.

Let it go, you are doing more harm than good.

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Originally Posted by JustJon

I am not finished...

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This thread gave me cancer.

Oh boy.. this is like a Mexican telenovela (no disrespect to Mexicans or ppl that like or dislike telenovelas btw :p)...

*crunch, crunch*

There are some who say in the age of the Internet you need to grow a thick skin - that may be a bit true but it also should not be used as an excuse to allow people to say or do things are are quite frankly offensive to reasonable people.

However - they need to be told that it is offensive or they will never know better. That means you need to stand up and politely let them know (in a private IM also so as to not attract undue drama). If they decide to take it the wrong way then so be it - blacklist them and be on your way. If they then harass or incite other harass you (as you have blacklisted them) then report them for said harassment.

Most of the time people use these words because they incorrectly think it is cool and the adoring masses find them amusing - most people will react kindly to a "hey can you throttle back on the cancer stuff as my mum is has cancer and may not live - it's no joke" those that do not are most likely not the sort of people you will want to be around anyway.

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Originally Posted by Bearded

There are some who say in the age of the Internet you need to grow a thick skin - that may be a bit true but it also should not be used as an excuse to allow people to say or do things are are quite frankly offensive to reasonable people.

However - they need to be told that it is offensive or they will never know better. That means you need to stand up and politely let them know (in a private IM also so as to not attract undue drama). If they decide to take it the wrong way then so be it - blacklist them and be on your way. If they then harass or incite other harass you (as you have blacklisted them) then report them for said harassment.

Most of the time people use these words because they incorrectly think it is cool and the adoring masses find them amusing - most people will react kindly to a "hey can you throttle back on the cancer stuff as my mum is has cancer and may not live - it's no joke" those that do not are most likely not the sort of people you will want to be around anyway.

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I really hate when people try to wrap up their inane word-policing with holier-than-thou morality and this definitely falls under that umbrella.

It'd be one thing if someone was getting called names or outright bullied, but cancer has been used for the better half of a decade as a quick way to associate immense negativity with something in games and other activities.

The people who use it know cancer is a bad thing, so much so that they compare the negative experience they are having to it. But that's not the point, and all of you know that.

What truly is going on under the all of this is people who dislike certain decade old subcultures walking into them and demanding them change and conform for the people not involved, it's similar to people who don't play FF yelling at square to make the game less "weaboo" and then they'll come play it but you all wrap it up into a morality thing, accusing those who don't conform of being immoral when all they're doing is participating in a subculture that's been around for ages.

Not to mention all of the implications someone is ignorant, that's sure not condescending or anything.

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Originally Posted by Alucard135

I bet you guys are now happy that he left, given the other topic he started.

I pray for the other unfortunate FC on Aether that will accept him.

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Well I would accept him anytime because would not exclude him for such reason persons think differently after all and can tolerate or befriend with ea other even being different without being rude to one another.

That's the beauty of the internet.

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Originally Posted by Vercinotrix

What truly is going on under the all of this is people who dislike certain decade old subcultures walking into them and demanding them change and conform for the people not involved, it's similar to people who don't play FF yelling at square to make the game less "weaboo" and then they'll come play it but you all wrap it up into a morality thing, accusing those who don't conform of being immoral when all they're doing is participating in a subculture that's been around for ages.

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On other hand completely understand that the OP clearly didn't like what he saw in FC chat and by his means decided to leave to another DC it means he accepts pretty well the reality he won't change the speech or the minds of those adopting such behavior so better let them be.

The OP just used the forum to express his displeasure which is nothing wrong about it the same way others expressing their discontent towards the changes.

If they do find self-realization and happiness with old slurs and unfunny jokes about illness or conditions is their word choice.

"The Empire is a cancer" - Yiazmat

SE please ban Yiazmat

Man, people are so touchy. The internet is not your personal safe space. I honestly wonder how you people function in real life because it seems like no one is allowed to criticize you or call you a funny name without you getting offended and calling the bully help line. Honestly, are you this touchy with your colleagues and bosses? Jeez.

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Originally Posted by Rivers23

Man, people are so touchy. The internet is not your personal safe space. I honestly wonder how you people function in real life because it seems like no one is allowed to criticize you or call you a funny name without you getting offended and calling the bully help line. Honestly, are you this touchy with your colleagues and bosses? Jeez.

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So what?
You probably will be touchy about other subjects and people won't be complaining about you being touchy.

Sound so: wah wah wah ppl r touchy wah wah wah why no accept outdated jokes wah wah wah been training outdated jokes on the mirror to look funny for so long it doesnt come out that fasionable wah wah wah

However don't let me stop you do what you want all the critics you want pull those critics from whatever place you like I can nod even if you like again if that makes you happy and self-realized.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bearded

There are some who say in the age of the Internet you need to grow a thick skin - that may be a bit true but it also should not be used as an excuse to allow people to say or do things are are quite frankly offensive to reasonable people.

However - they need to be told that it is offensive or they will never know better. That means you need to stand up and politely let them know (in a private IM also so as to not attract undue drama). If they decide to take it the wrong way then so be it - blacklist them and be on your way. If they then harass or incite other harass you (as you have blacklisted them) then report them for said harassment.

Most of the time people use these words because they incorrectly think it is cool and the adoring masses find them amusing - most people will react kindly to a "hey can you throttle back on the cancer stuff as my mum is has cancer and may not live - it's no joke" those that do not are most likely not the sort of people you will want to be around anyway.

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What do you mean, 'reasonable people'? Foks tend to deal with horrific things with humour. I've had family members die of cancer. It's not going to stop me from saying that a particular thing is 'cancer'. As in, something is so bad that it needs to be removed from the 'body' to be whole again. I also have good old autism, I joke about it constantly. I call it good old assburgers. Example; New moogle event is just good old grinding and repetition - this pleases my autism, ah yes. Like wow, should I be offended by that?

This entire thread gives me autism on top of my autism. People need a dang thicker skin. The number of times I've heard folks joke about autism, cancer, 'get back in the kitchen', aids or 'black jokes' would have me be wealthy I got a £ for each remark. I laugh every time. Maybe I'm just 'unreasonable' because I don't let such words hurt me and actually laugh at how stupid the comments are. I don't know. Maybe I just have a healthy sense of humour and skin as thick as a rhino.

I swear people who don't even have a history with any of these things get more offended than those who do. It's tiresome. White Knights suck.

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Originally Posted by JustJon

Okay, thanks for the emphasis that I should have a tougher skin and any other analogies that get thrown about.

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Yeah, and stop hiding behind other folks diseases/illnesses because you have an issue with your previous FC. Petty af.

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Originally Posted by AnnaRosa

Well I would accept him anytime because would not exclude him for such reason persons think differently after all and can tolerate or befriend with ea other even being different without being rude to one another.

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Keyword: Tolerate. Which OP has shown that he has zero of to the point he called others morons.
If you're someone that people need to watch every single thing they say because they think they might offend you without knowing, then that's not a person that thinks differently. That's a person better left alone.

JustJon should JustMoveOn

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Alucard135

Keyword: Tolerate. Which OP has shown that he has zero of to the point he called others morons.
If you're someone that people need to watch every single thing they say because they think they might offend you without knowing, then that's not a person that thinks differently. That's a person better left alone.

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Am so sorry I disagree with you, usually do not tend to joke about illness in that public context I joke about my health problems and my most close one health problems in private because it helps me cope them, so in public including guilds you will never see me joking about such subject even if we had that impulse we couldn't because where we live is considered a hate speech crime, again in public.

So basically where we live the laws protect persons with health problems from harassment in public it is considered hate speech crime, either with illness or conditions and that is something I never did in public and won't see myself doing not even in my childhood or teenage, however we allow ourselves to joke in our privacy about ourselves with whatever we feel like we tried once with our doctor but he didn't like and we stoped there.

So what affects him within humor altho doesn't scratch you or others doesn't make him a less likable individual or that gives me feels in advance to exclude him as a friend game player.

After all we adjust each other to have fun an allow others to have fun too.

The cancer this thread gave me is beginning to spread to other areas of my body.

While insult will always sucks. Words having several meaning isn't new and we can't do much about it.
You can't change the way a language is spoken.

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Originally Posted by LyraKuroneko

While insult will always sucks. Words having several meaning isn't new and we can't do much about it.
You can't change the way a language is spoken.

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Of course and it goes in both ways.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Alucard135

The same can be said about someone getting offended by every group they communicate with. And in the situation of using the term cancer, those that are offended are the "few". Need proof? do a simple 100 random roulettes and say "this fight/dungeon is cancerous" and see how many gets offended by the term being used.

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To be fair, there is a difference of definition between "this gave me cancer" and "this is cancerous", because no, this fight/dungeon did not "give you cancer" and it's not funny to say it. To say a "fight/dungeon is cancerous" is actually probably a reasonable summary and there is no reason for anyone to be annoyed by it.

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Originally Posted by LyraKuroneko

While insult will always sucks. Words having several meaning isn't new and we can't do much about it.
You can't change the way a language is spoken.

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I think you will find there are laws in many countries that disagree with you. I can only speak from my knowledge of European countries but in specifically the UK, derogatory expressions toward someone's colour, race, disability, nationality, ethnic or national origin, religion, gender or sexual orientation is forbidden.

Autism falls under the above criteria.

This I believe is not the case in the US?

Hence one of many reasons we have different data centers and should probably extend to forums, otherwise we will have divisive threads.

Which is a shame, because a global community has so many benefits.

If my Zodiac sign is a cancer I guess I can't tell anyone about it or associate anything with it.

Remember horoscopes? I remember them.

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Originally Posted by Gula

If my Zodiac sign is a cancer I guess I can't tell anyone about it or associate anything with it.

Remember horoscopes? I remember them.

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My starsign is also Cancer. I honestly hate it when discussing starsigns, I have to say "I'm a Cancer". Like, I know it's just the name of the starsign, but it's gotta be the star sign with the worst name. D:

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Originally Posted by JustJon

Oh noes, I lost a supporter. Me sad now! Meet you in the Wolve's Den SerLuke. :p

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Eh, I'm still kind of a supporter, I agree with the overall message, and I don't disagree with how you left the FC, I just don't really like how it seems that you posted it to lure out old FC members. And no offence, but some of your posts are a little bit cringe, I feel like this thread could have been handled a lot better.

Can somebody remove this thread already? It was pointless from the start, and now it's actually harmful.

Hey look, OP has found more crazies. This game does have a knack of bringing them out of the woodworks.

I never understood the whole "Your autistic term" I mean I am mildly autistic and I am pretty sure I am relatively average. Is it because they cannot say retard anymore? Just trying to understand, is autism a relatively degrading term? The way I see it, autism just makes me think way faster than my body or other parts of my brain can cope or react. Not sure if that is the same as some people wanted it to be. Hope that clears things up. XD

Soul...really?!? Here's what I don't understand, instead of coming to me (or anyone else) you're posting all this mess on here! Well congrats you've gotten what you wanted, attention. You left a perfectly well meaning FC full of people who enjoyed playing with you because you got "offended" over a MACRO, and yes offended is the correct term because here you sit stirring the pot.

**CONTEXT**
I had just gotten out of a really (I mean REALLY) bad Orbonne run. I of course made a comment about how I wish folks would learn the mechanics and dodge aoes (normal stuff to complain about). That's when the now infamous macro popped up. Everyone got a laugh at it, no ill will was meant or anything like that. No one complained, no one called foul. Fast forward to the next day: Soul just ups and leaves the FC without even a word. I even tried to check in on him to see how he was doing and what had happened, but Soul marked himself as busy and wouldn't accept any incoming messages. We were actually concerned, because after a while you start to develop friendships with your FC mates, and when something like this happens you want to make sure that they are ok. I was saddened when this popped up in my feed, and confused how someone could take offense to a macro that had no hidden meaning or was wishing actual cancer on anyone (but I would expect most grown ups would have agreed with me).

To Soul:
I hope that your next FC is a good one and that they take a liking to you like we did. I'm really disappointed that you left us without saying a word and that instead of coming to me like an adult and saying anything you have chosen to take this route. Maybe it's because I've grown to the point that airing out my grievances in a passive aggressive manor online is beneath me, that I don't understand why you did this. You've done nothing but hurt yourself in this whole experience.

-Po

And the next thing soul will say: HAHA! FINALLY I DID IT! SOUL OUT!

Edit:

Though the otters spam of 2019 lost the battle, they had at least diverted enough attention from the actually topic for someone to have the time to read, and note that JustJon had implied he would stop if he was given the last word, and so he was granted his final request.

He had won the the battle, but what did it cost him? So many braincells of his fellow players lost, all to serve the vendetta of a would be mad king!?

As the thread finally sank below the depths of page one, I could only think, what would have been had Jon actually spoken with his fellow countrymen? Told them how deeply their words hurt him? One can only guess! Perhaps they would have patched things up? Perhaps it would have lead to a greater breakdown?

But we can all ultimately agree, if the goading Jon spoke of by his fellow FC members rings true, then it was they who ultimately won the war. It is they who will share a collective laugh as they point towards the seemingly obsessive nature of their former FC mate.

Now, a moment of silence for all this otters lost over this senseless war.

F's in the chat please.

Edit 2:

Finally accepting some level of defeat, Jon began a purge, knowing full and well he couldn't clean up all of it, but he did was he could, seemingly growing tired of the struggle, and possibly aware his plan may have no gone how we wanted.

As of now most if not all of his posts in his own thread had been deleted, why? Only he himself knows, but his chaotic nature is sure to cause him to return, especially because you're reading this right now Jon, I know you are.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Bellsong

And the next thing soul will say: HAHA! FINALLY I DID IT! SOUL OUT!

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Jojo, is that you?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by thereal_aliceanders

Soul...really?!? Here's what I don't understand, instead of coming to me (or anyone else) you're posting all this mess on here! Well congrats you've gotten what you wanted, attention. You left a perfectly well meaning FC full of people who enjoyed playing with you because you got "offended" over a MACRO, and yes offended is the correct term because here you sit stirring the pot.

**CONTEXT**
I had just gotten out of a really (I mean REALLY) bad Orbonne run. I of course made a comment about how I wish folks would learn the mechanics and dodge aoes (normal stuff to complain about). That's when the now infamous macro popped up. Everyone got a laugh at it, no ill will was meant or anything like that. No one complained, no one called foul. Fast forward to the next day: Soul just ups and leaves the FC without even a word. I even tried to check in on him to see how he was doing and what had happened, but Soul marked himself as busy and wouldn't accept any incoming messages. We were actually concerned, because after a while you start to develop friendships with your FC mates, and when something like this happens you want to make sure that they are ok. I was saddened when this popped up in my feed, and confused how someone could take offense to a macro that had no hidden meaning or was wishing actual cancer on anyone (but I would expect most grown ups would have agreed with me).

To Soul:
I hope that your next FC is a good one and that they take a liking to you like we did. I'm really disappointed that you left us without saying a word and that instead of coming to me like an adult and saying anything you have chosen to take this route. Maybe it's because I've grown to the point that airing out my grievances in a passive aggressive manor online is beneath me, that I don't understand why you did this. You've done nothing but hurt yourself in this whole experience.

-Po

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I'm really sorry that you all had to go through this as an, FC leader it would really break my heart if someone left my FC and did something like this by posting on the forums without reaching out to me or letting me reach out to them, I hope this whole situation ends soon, I have the same worry and concern about people that leave my FC without saying anything and just hope that they are okay.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by JustJon

This was one of if not the first comment on this issue above, I waded through the thread on this. A few posts later I personally made a comment myself and don't actually remember making too many other comments on the subject either. I choose not to do this as well because I feel people who suffer with condition need a voice too and most certainly don't need my input on what they go through with the condition.



To which I replied...



I feel I must elaborate on this last comment, somewhere in this post I mention someone I deal with day in and day out and said person really does try my patience with the way he is, however, I accept it and deal with it. Even if...



Quote, unquote...

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See dude, I was originally supportive of what you were saying about not using autism as an insult, but as soon as I mentioned that you should edit out the morons thing because its taking away(from what I thought) was was the point of your post(before I realized it was some passive aggressive attempt to lure your former mates out). Its ironic that you quoted me on how I deal with having autism in an attempt to say you want to cuss me out or fight me on wolves den or something yet you started out by arguing autism shouldn't be used as an insult? I did not personally insult you but simply tried to reason with you then when I bring up my struggles with autism you seem to hate me now, so it seems you really don't have all that much compassion towards people online that actually have autism spectrum disorder which makes me think that was just a lie to get this thread going.