I don't think you're quite right, let me explain on a point-by-point basis.
First, the server issues. I have probably a 15% chance that my game will crash on teleport. Whether that is a server thing or a game glitch, I lack the credentials to say which is which. However, I do know that there are a number of folks on Balmung that I have run with, including myself personally, who has suffered from the dreaded 90k error and got booted from the game. That has happened to me a large number of times, and at least twice, I have been booted to the lobby, only to get hit with a 2001 lobby error as my game forcequits on me. Those are observations I've had, and I am aware that game experiences vary. But the fact of the matter is that the reason that we do not have private housing, and that GC housing is limited (and was stupid expensive at the start) is because the servers are not exactly optimal for handling housing and are in a dire need of upgrading. That I know for a fact because Yoshi has gone on record to say that multiple times.
Second, the cash shop. Like I said, as long as it's flooded with stuff that doesn't increase stats or unlock dungeons, quests, and other related content, then I think a cash shop is fine. Who does it hurt when people can buy Fantasias? Or if there are exclusive sets of Level 50 "All Classes" gear with zero stats on it. Like, say... a SOLDIER 1st Class set that makes a character dress up like Cloud from FFVII or something. I just don't see how that's necessarily gamebreaking other than for bitter immersion-purists who spend their off-RP hours whining about people with Lightning hair.
I'm just trying to understand your point of view while trying to get you to understand mine, that's all.
