there's no way we can have 150 TP or 0 MP for a boss fight even if the tank pull as fast as possible.
and tanks that watch people die should be kicked for trolling.
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I agree with you that trolls should be kicked.
To the other point it is VERY Easy for tanks to run out of TP and drop to even below 150 TP. Warriors have Overpower which has a Ridiculous TP Cost. http://ffxiv.consolegameswiki.com/wiki/Overpower As for healers running OOM In a scenario of impatient DPS and warrior having to spam Overpower to grab Hate off of all Mobs it is incredibly Likely a healer will run oom as well. I Would consider half mana Or below unsafe for starting Any next encounter but Especially a Boss Fight.
Healer MP is a problem that the healer has to work for, as a WHM main myself I strive to make sure I have the required MP for boss fights after big trash pulls. A tank does not have to hold up the group for me, it is the healers' responsibility and it is a part of learning how to be a better healer to manage your own MP.
It's actually quite possible to run out of TP on melee with all the SS that's on some of the gear, especially if the other DPS is only moderately geared.
As for the original post...I deal with them by not being a jerk. If I solo-queue as DPS, I do so knowing that I won't have control of pacing. That is the tank's responsibility.
That only applies to situations within reason though. Many tanks insist on chain-pulling to maximize instance completion speed. However, because chain-pulling means that there's always at least 1 enemy in combat, the out-of-combat MP regeneration will never apply (and in-combat MP regeneration is abysmal). What this means is that chain-pulling is actually more detrimental to instance completion speed (more-so for AST and WHM since SCH is an MP battery) because less MP can go towards DPS. Then there's also the situation when the DDs are taking a little too long to kill enemies (which is more common in 3.0 than in 2.0 since enemy HP pools in 3.0 are 2-3x higher per level) which can also lead to MP strain before the next pull (enemies in 3.0 also hit 2-3x harder than their 2.0 counterparts per level). Basically, there's a lot more to worry about in 3.0 than in 2.0 when it comes to running dungeons since SE decided to change a lot of things up to increase difficulty. Tanks, healers, and DDs need to understand this first before bum-rushing a level 51+ dungeon.
Tanks are expected to know the mechanics of every fight. I'd say some of that time, it's possible they are reading about the fight online.
How do I deal with sluggish tanks as a BLM? I pull. And then if the tank just sits there after that pack is dead and complains that I should have patience, I pull the next pack too. Rinse/repeat until we're at the boss or until we get a new tank.
I don't mind tanks pulling at a leisurely pace but, largely, people don't have time to spend an entire hour on a single dungeon that can be completed in 20 minutes.