Expectations are ruining this game

Defintelly agree with this. Its a game. People take it way to seriously

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Originally Posted by ArcanoJones

Defintelly agree with this. Its a game. People take it way to seriously

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Yeah it's only a game. A game where teamwork is paramount. A game where communication and coordination is expected among players, because shock horror it is an MMO. A game where people who have limited time to begin with don't want to wipe 4 times to the same thing, wasting said time. A game where the playerbase is so coddled that you can't even offer constructive criticism without them crying to Uncle Yoshi and getting you banned for toxicity and ruining their immersion.

When I came from from GW2 - where I never played a dungeon and could care about myself - I had something I called "dungeon anxiety".
The tank's version of that is called "tanxiety". Not sure what the expections from the community were, I opened my heart in this thread. Ingame then actually, all people were nice and patient! And I found myself in the middle of both sides:

* I am in a random group, and the others can expect me to be a viable part
* I am in a random group, and the others should expect me to be new and I want to play the game as an adventurer and see it myself

That is like me playing Tomb Raider II back in 1997 and die 500x due to the traps the designers put in for us as players to offer a challenge and the reason to play Tomb Raider over Tetris - or reading the strategy guide first and pull the spice out of the game because I know the traps already.

I made small notes for every dungeon I ran in Heavensward on a college notepad next to my screen because I was Scholar and your lives were dependent on me. Going blindly in and we all wipe is different than a DPS or a tank that I can swiftcast-revive - thanks to being prepared and not dead with the newbies, kissing the foor. I do not regret it as I still died because reading a few bulletin points is different from actually playing. But with me being a bit more prepared as healer, saved our lives often.

As healer I can trust you: I like to heal and revive you guys. I want to be the helping hand that pulls you trough the dungeon with team spirit and a good mood. If a run is smooth or difficult, I take both. When you die in Snowcloak because you forget to hide behind the icicles I am the one that raises you - as both Scholar or as Red Mage (* yes, it's a dungeon where I can't do that due to level restrictions, but you get the point). My first Som Al dungeon run had a newbie healer dying and I took over healing as Red Mage - no mad beef from anyone.

The only thing I'd like to know who is new so I can watch you more closely. The only thing I know that is when someone gets the achievment upon entering the boss room. And when you are more or less grateful for it, and not acting like "Herp derp, drag me trough".

But else, I we are a team, we are in the same boat, and this awful attitude of "Let them die cuz they did a misstake" or even kickvotes after the first fail we faced towards newbies gets me angry.

Sincerely,

https://imgur.com/kXOfaq9.png

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Originally Posted by Lascivus

That's what I say. But they honestly feel like if they don't know what to do as a tank, that they shouldn't do it. And it's taking a lot of the fun out of it.

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Couple of thoughts, right now at 80 I love seeing the new to an instance message as that means more tomes as I'm gearing up other jobs. I'm sure most others feel the same way.

Some of what you say though in someways seems as selfish as the people you are complaining about.

You: " I want to run the dungeon blind, I don't want pointers, etc." This means the others get to deal with wipes, rezzes etc. It seems you are saying your desires are more important than the others desire to have a smooth run. I'm not saying you are wrong to want this, but it seems others are equally justified in not wanting to deal with that type of a run.

That said: I and my friends never have an issue with new players, in fact we will ask before bosses if they want basic strats, if they said we want to go in blind I'd be okay with that as well. But you have to understand depending on your jobs, you going in blind could mean a wipe(s), which means adding another 5 mins for each one to the time of the dungeon. Luckily in dungeons there are very few miss a mechanic and party wipes type scenarios. It usually just means more rezzing, more healing. Though the tank or healer dying can often lead to a wipe...

I've never run into anyone being hostile or mad about this type of thing in any DF I've been in. In fact folks are often nice to new tanks, as in previous expansions tanks were always in need so getting new tanks into the mix was a good thing.

PF as others have said sounds perfect for you, you can post blind run, no experience etc. Fill the group with exactly the type of folks you are wanting to adventure with. Joining a FC is also something you might want to try, we will do full FC groups for those that are new, need to clear content etc.

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Originally Posted by CorbinDallas

Yeah it's only a game. A game where teamwork is paramount. A game where communication and coordination is expected among players, because shock horror it is an MMO. A game where people who have limited time to begin with don't want to wipe 4 times to the same thing, wasting said time. A game where the playerbase is so coddled that you can't even offer constructive criticism without them crying to Uncle Yoshi and getting you banned for toxicity and ruining their immersion.

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As you said, its a MMO. Its a time consumming type of game. If you don't have time to play it its your own fault. The dungeon have 90 min timer, if you don't have at least half this time you shoudl reconsider tagging along.

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Originally Posted by Nariel

As you said, its a MMO. Its a time consumming type of game. If you don't have time to play it its your own fault.

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Having time to play it isn't the same as having time to wipe 30 times on brain-dead easy content.

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Originally Posted by Crystal_Raven

Having time to play it isn't the same as having time to wipe 30 times on brain-dead easy content.

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Abbandon vote is stil a thing.

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Originally Posted by Nariel

Abbandon vote is stil a thing.

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If you have to constantly vote abandon on old content you get for example via roulettes because people lack basic game skills, we have a very big problem.

This entire mentality of "i don't need to learn to play, others will carry me, and if they criticize me i will report and get them banned" needs to end.

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Originally Posted by Lascivus

So I started playing this game about 6 months ago with my fiance. Neither of us knew much of anything about it and that was a huge part of why I was so excited to play it.

But now, the expectation that you're supposed to look up and know everything about a dungeon before doing it is literally ruining it for me. I understand being frustrated when someone doesn't know the mechanics, trust me. But getting pissed off at someone for not knowing when it's their first time going through is so stupid.

Literally my fiance feels like they CAN'T tank a dungeon without memorizing the mechanics completely before going through because they know people who've done it before will get pissed off and yell at them for it.

I absolutely hate this bullshit. Let people learn as they go. You shouldn't have to research things before doing them.

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This is a life of a tank.
You are signing for a team leader job, you have to know everything and every time.

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Originally Posted by Derio

Its not expected. But if you dont tell people you are new and its your first time doing the dungeon, then yea they are going to expect that you have done the dungeon before and have an idea of the mechanics.

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Really dont have to tell anyone, a message pops up and tells *everyone for you*

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Originally Posted by Crystal_Raven

If you have to constantly vote abandon on old content you get for example via roulettes because people lack basic game skills, we have a very big problem.

This entire mentality of "i don't need to learn to play, others will carry me, and if they criticize me i will report and get them banned" needs to end.

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You make it look terrible while this kind of instances happen maybe once in a month if you're not lucky. Or you're so unlucky I'd rather not staying in the same DC to avoid the god of misfortune blessing.

I never, NEVER wiped more than twice in a dungeon in the last 4 years. Raid, sure its a mess first week, primal too sometime... But THAT bad... hell no.

And it even more rare when its something a 1 min fight explanation can't beat.

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Originally Posted by Lascivus

Like I said, I understand the frustration. But I'm the kind of person who doesn't want to know ANYTHING before doing something. Even with raids.

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Sounds like a personal problem. You're kinda putting yourself above all others which isn't a good mindset.

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Originally Posted by Lascivus

That's what I say. But they honestly feel like if they don't know what to do as a tank, that they shouldn't do it. And it's taking a lot of the fun out of it.

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Sorry to hear that you and your fiance are going though this, but "they feel like" is a problem that they themselves have created. No, I'm not blaming them. They probably have anxiety, which if they do, I understand as a person who has had to deal with anxiety for years. But this is simply a problem that they themselves must overcome. Don't put the blame onto the community for a perceived expectation on your part that isn't an actual expectation of the community.

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Originally Posted by Nariel

As you said, its a MMO. Its a time consumming type of game. If you don't have time to play it its your own fault. The dungeon have 90 min timer, if you don't have at least half this time you shoudl reconsider tagging along.

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An MMO where they have designed pretty much everything in a "sandbox" nature to do in bite sized chunks, due to the very nature of players having limited time to play.

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Originally Posted by Nariel

Abbandon vote is stil a thing.

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So are vote-kicks - aka: if a run is going badly enough to vote abbandon you might aswell vote-kick the person resonpsible for slowing the whole party down first...

On the matter at hand: personally I rarely experienced new people getting yelled at or getting yelled at myself when being a new person. And me and my boyfriend are running all content blind aswell... I also respect people who want to run content blind - given that they have the "skills" for that, by which I mean: Being able to decipher fights quickly and a basic understanding of the game, their job and general mechanics appropriate for their level.
So I'd be extremly curious to know in which situations people are running into trouble. Because lets face it: most fights are a re-mix of already known mechanics. Someone might be new to a fight but certain mechanics stay the same: AoEs, stack-markers, theter-breaking, "turn your back when the big bad eye appears"... someone might be new to a dungeon but if they die (several times) to a mechanic that is already known to them because it was used in 5 dungeons already, they'll get called out for that. The fight(s) might be new, the mechanics often arent.
So I feel there is a big difference between calling someone out whos new in Sastasha to calling someone out whos new in the Vault, yet still messes up mechanics that should already be known - hence why I'm wondering what the situations are in which such rudeness occurs...

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Originally Posted by Lascivus

That's what I say. But they honestly feel like if they don't know what to do as a tank, that they shouldn't do it. And it's taking a lot of the fun out of it.

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This also depends on context - I'm right there with you that thats a bad attitude when we're talking about a newbie tank up to level 50 - but if someone doesnt know how to play a tank at level 50, if they didnt learn how to do that during their leveling process then yeah, maybe they shouldnt play a tank.
To me there is a certain limit of "I'm new and dont know what I'm doing" - past a certain point your teammates should rightfully expect that you know the basics of your job and have a grasp of the general mechanics the game repeats over and over.

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Originally Posted by CorbinDallas

A game where the playerbase is so coddled that you can't even offer constructive criticism without them crying to Uncle Yoshi and getting you banned for toxicity and ruining their immersion.

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Do you have a source to back that up? Have you been banned for this before?

Like much of any argument on these forums, claims of bans are usually all talk (just for the record, I'm not saying you are one of those, despite my initial sentence.. I'm sort of agreeing with you, so don't get defensive or take offense to what I'm saying). If they say they are going to report you, I'll even wager they don't know how to file the proper ticket for that. The only ingame method of reporting is for RMT activity. Meaning they've got to login to mogstation, then if they even remember the name of the one who hurt their feelings, type that name in and explain why they got their feelings hurt.

In my experience, I've not been banned in game or even warned because of hurting someone's feelings. So I'm interested to know how little SE will actually action for, if someone takes the time and effort to login on a website.

But assuming SE has the industry standard of innocent until found guilty, they're going to look at the log and see what was said. Sure.. if you said a mean thing or called someone a name they might warn you. But if you laid out a mechanic and said how to do it. I doubt harm or foul will be found.

My favorite is when people threaten to report if they get booted for no reason. I typically group with friends and so getting a trouble maker out of a group is pretty simple. And in those cases, they don't even see why they were booted. They get told the mechanics, get told where they messed up, and if they don't conform, they get removed from the dungeon. Not much to report us there for. And if they're particularly a real jerk (could even be doing the mechanics properly, we just don't like them), we just boot them without a word. Not much to be reported there either. GM is going to be like, "what? I just see the person who reported being a jerk, and no one said anything in chat."

The wonders of Discord and VoIP. Can say all kinds of nasty and rich things about people they can't report us for. Hell there's even posting of the forbidden parses in there. Imagine that.


In my experience, newbies do fine. They screw up once or twice, but then they get it. Run goes quickly, run goes smoothly for the most part. My issue is with the entitled folk that know the fights. Done them a few dozen times. Get cocky, get complacent, and even worse, get arrogant enough to think they don't have to do certain things. Believing others will simply carry them through. Those get booted. Don't need any time with them. I don't want to group with them, I don't want my efforts to benefit them. I've made my choice about those people and they simply can languish with booted penalties for all I care.

Thankfully those types of people are relatively rare. Unfortunately they spoil the whole barrel. If it weren't for them, we wouldn't have this thread. They give newbies unneeded anxieties that they wouldn't have otherwise.

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Originally Posted by Lascivus

Like I said, I understand the frustration. But I'm the kind of person who doesn't want to know ANYTHING before doing something. Even with raids. I don't want to know. If you can't handle new people not knowing, then you need to reevaluate yourself. Or like. Explain how it works before jumping in. The game literally tells you that there are new people when you start.

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If you feel that way, especially with raids and ex primals, you need to be prepared to be kicked or refused entrance in a group. Dungeons are ok to go in 100% blind as long as you know basic mechanics like stack markers.

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Originally Posted by zcrash970

If you feel that way, especially with raids and ex primals, you need to be prepared to be kicked or refused entrance in a group. Dungeons are ok to go in 100% blind as long as you know basic mechanics like stack markers.

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To be fair, full blind training party are common in the party finder for Ex primal or savage raid. Normal raid are glorified dungeon/trial barely going blind is still quite safe if you're not the lower tier of bad player.

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Originally Posted by Kaethra

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I'm slightly exaggerating, but surely you've noticed from the general forum user base that anything even remotely critical is seen as a malicious personal attack? The exact same thing happens in game all the time.

As for SE policy? From what I hear it's the complete opposite. Guilty and smacked with the banhammer first, then a long and arduous process of getting unbanned without removing the mark from your history. There was a case not too long ago where someone got dragged to GM jail and banned over something they weren't even aware of, automatically made FC leader without their knowledge, and the company profile using foul language, which they offered to rectify. But nope, banned, strike forever there on their account.

I stand by what I said, and the ToS rewrite not so long ago just made it worse. This player base is so quick to cry foul that you can't even breathe without offending someone.

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Originally Posted by Crystal_Raven

If you have to constantly vote abandon on old content you get for example via roulettes because people lack basic game skills, we have a very big problem.

This entire mentality of "i don't need to learn to play, others will carry me, and if they criticize me i will report and get them banned" needs to end.

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Do we want equality? Or do we want to skill gate content? We as a player base cant do both. As a designer, making the game available to a wide amount of players inevitably dilutes the skill base. Keeping a skill gate, concentration of skill occurs but, then you can't have millions of players.

A real life equivalent is education. You can make it available to everyone, but then you cant teach the same high quality content, the same way you can to a higher skillset of people. You "could" attempt to teach normal people advanced physics and what you get is,l similar to what is happening in our game.
Rando people show up in savage or extremes and only get in because we made it available through ilvl. Unfortunately some peoples desires are not more important than the rules/structure of society/video game.

I desire to be world first, but I would never ask square to make the game easier for me. I desire to be a astronaut but I would never complain that NASA makes it to hard.

I believe, we should have individual skill gates, followed by regular team based skill gates. You can't get past it? Then you don't get to do it.

I understand it from both sides, i really love the fun and excitement of walking into a dungeon or raid for the first time and not knowinig whats coming. The surprise is part of the fun and contributes a lot to my experience. However, this is not a single player game, its an MMO there are other people who also pay to play just the same as you so i compromise. I'll enjoy new content the week its out the way i like to play, blind, because most everyone else is blind too because its all new which makes it in most cases, doubly fun. In old content (at least raids) i'll try my best to make sure i know the mechanics of what i'm getting into so i don't waste not only my own time but my party members times.

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Originally Posted by Kaethra

The only ingame method of reporting is for RMT activity. Meaning they've got to login to mogstation, then if they even remember the name of the one who hurt their feelings, type that name in and explain why they got their feelings hurt.

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Unless this has been changed since I last reported someone this is false. You CAN report in-game through the support desk.


To OP, you will never find a single game that doesn't have it's fair share of rotten apples. FFXIV community might not be as bad as other games but it is by no means this glorified community made out to be.
Personally, if it's a normal duty, aslong as you don't wipe to the same thing a hundred times or kill your party with the same thing several times I couldn't care less. If anything it's quite entertaining watching new people fail mechanics because it reminds me of myself failing to them the first time.
I'd also suggest you report people that say in chat that they're gonna kick you because you're new and then actually do it.

Granted we don't know the whole picture, for all we know you and your partner are making alot of mistakes or are being rude to people explaining a mechanic with good intentions.

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Originally Posted by SturmChurro

It's cool, don't worry about other people's expectations. They do not matter. I definitely don't. First time I did innocence ex I did it blind. Same with Titania ex. I don't look up guides. Learn as I go. I told them I was going in blind before we entered, so nobody try to say something about that. I don't think dungeon guides are necessary at all, I actually don't think I have actually looked up one, at least for relevant content. I have looked up older dungeon guides as a refresher though if the party wipes (text).

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Oh, I was in Titania NM on Sunday of early access, and specified I wanted a blind run. The other healer pretty much ignored my request and started explaining: 'Let me enlighten you then.' And proceeded to explain mechs, while I let them know I'm ignoring chat and closing it. They went ahead and explained everything anyways, from what I could see in chat after I was done. Funny thing, they died early, and I was alone doing most of the healing.


I don't know why people are starting to go out of their way to force you to play however they want. It's happening more often than before.
Even if the game hasn't even officially launched. Same one patch day, I understand some people are free, or like to rush through the story, but I don't.
If people say they want to do it blind, I let them, if they ask for tips, I give them. Simple.

Hell, I did a 60+ min Aurum vale run with a new tank, that was so green. I kept explaining him how to use his kit, and do mechs, until we did it. He thanked me afterwards.

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Originally Posted by PharisHanasaki

Oh, I was in Titania Ex on Sunday of early access, and specified I wanted a blind run.

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Yeah, the healer probably shouldn't of explained it.
But this does remind me of an incident in a 24man run, where some new people wanted a completely blind run, and other new people wanted a heads up on the mechanics.
So someone explained it, and they got raged at by the blind runners. And the ones who wanted an explanation raged at the blind runners, and it turned into a horrible mess.
Sometimes it's really best just to make a PF for blind runs.

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Originally Posted by CorbinDallas

I'm slightly exaggerating, but surely you've noticed from the general forum user base that anything even remotely critical is seen as a malicious personal attack? The exact same thing happens in game all the time.

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This has been an issue for a little over 10 years now. Its a pretty nasty cultural issue we need to eventually work out.

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As for SE policy? From what I hear it's the complete opposite. Guilty and smacked with the banhammer first, then a long and arduous process of getting unbanned without removing the mark from your history. There was a case not too long ago where someone got dragged to GM jail and banned over something they weren't even aware of, automatically made FC leader without their knowledge, and the company profile using foul language, which they offered to rectify. But nope, banned, strike forever there on their account.

I stand by what I said, and the ToS rewrite not so long ago just made it worse. This player base is so quick to cry foul that you can't even breathe without offending someone.

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If this is true, then I'd recommend a pre-emptive strike. If people are going to get offended over advice, then simple 'get offended' over their 'playstyle' and report them first. If they're wasting our time not learning mechanics, then they must be doing it because 'insert random reason here'. Think of it as a virtual TOSMAD system. Term of Service Mutually Assured Destruction. I mean if the community wants to play that way, then simply adapt to it. If getting people banned before they get you banned is the name of the game, then its no different than learning a class rotation.

It doesn't need to be this way. It really doesn't. But this is the culture we as a society decided to make for ourselves.

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Originally Posted by CorbinDallas

Yeah it's only a game. A game where teamwork is paramount. A game where communication and coordination is expected among players, because shock horror it is an MMO. A game where people who have limited time to begin with don't want to wipe 4 times to the same thing, wasting said time. A game where the playerbase is so coddled that you can't even offer constructive criticism without them crying to Uncle Yoshi and getting you banned for toxicity and ruining their immersion.

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Ok, i'm going to give my two cents on the constructive criticism part. Let's not pretend that people don't lash out at others and try to label it as "constructive criticism". Yes, it is possible that someone could actually give it and be reported for being "toxic". But the reality is, far too many will attack someone without giving an ounce of advice as to how to get better and then if they get in trouble they'll try to say it was "constructive criticism". I actually admire that they care about the community, it's better than not doing anything at all while harassment runs rampant.

OP hates expectations but expects people to let them play blind.

Makes perfect sense to me.

I've had plenty of groups where someone new to a duty says 'first time any tips?' And at best people will give advice at worst they'll ignore it. I can't recall anyone ever being called out. The community DOES NOT expect you to know everything about a dungeon first time. I'm sure a few bad apples exist but they're rare in that regard.

Now, for a savage raid or ex trial, sure. You should watch a video if you're not familiar with the fight first. But for casual content? Not needed at all.

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Originally Posted by PharisHanasaki

Oh, I was in Titania NM on Sunday of early access, and specified I wanted a blind run. The other healer pretty much ignored my request and started explaining: 'Let me enlighten you then.' And proceeded to explain mechs, while I let them know I'm ignoring chat and closing it. They went ahead and explained everything anyways, from what I could see in chat after I was done. Funny thing, they died early, and I was alone doing most of the healing.

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Same thing happened to me but as dancer and Innocence. Healer went "ok let me explain" so i said "I'm fine with you explaining if people want it, but I'll swap tabs, good luck all, have fun".
That very healer was the first one to die whilst I was the last man standing with Innocence at 30% and me not dying or taking damage from mechanics outside of AOE . Sadly we only wiped once, I would have enjoyed seeing them die again, but I'm evil like that.

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But I'm the kind of person who doesn't want to know ANYTHING before doing something. Even with raids. I don't want to know.

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Good grief. You try and shame people for having expectations of you, and then you go right back and be angry about it because they're not living up to your expectations. You expect it all to be clean and unspoiled? This is the internet. It's an MMO. You think that kind of purity exists here? You have no power here!

The key to happiness is low expectations. Go in and wing it. Don't get angry if someone spoils something. Don't get angry if someone boots you. Just freaking wing it. And keep on trying. Get up, and do it again. And enjoy the journey. You really can't sit there and lamblast people for having expectations when you march in on a high-horse expecting everyone else to cater to you. You don't want to do the research. You don't want to spend your time dying to trial and error. You just want to go in there and get carried.

And you know what makes it a joke? Is that this expansion has freaking TRUSTS in it! You can LITERALLY enter any of the Shadowbringer duties for your first time with a bunch of brain-dead NPCs who'll carry you through the entire ordeal without spoiling anything. So you need to take a moment to chill out. And consider your own expectations and evaluate the amount of effort you're willing to do to enjoy the game. You cannot put your expectations on other people, and then become upset when they fail you. You need to take more personal responsibility.

I always go in blind. I find it fun to learn as I go and the story doesn't get ruined for me that way. However, I've never gotten yelled at or kicked. I try to tell if I'm new to a run but don't always have time. If I run into someone new to a run I'm always happy to let them know what will happen. Maybe people are just nicer on Primal?

If I want to do Ex or harder stuff, I usually make my own party from friends in my FC or my LS. That way, no one gets angry if anyone goes in blind, or is just new to the game.

I personally like to go blind but if I'm with a dr and not a pf that I made stating its a blind run and someone starts explaining I dont hold it against them. There are plenty of ways to go in blind *cough trust system cough*

If I am working those that are new unless asked I will wait for first or second wipe before explaining

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Originally Posted by Lascivus

But now, the expectation that you're supposed to look up and know everything about a dungeon before doing it is literally ruining it for me. I understand being frustrated when someone doesn't know the mechanics, trust me. But getting pissed off at someone for not knowing when it's their first time going through is so stupid.

Literally my fiance feels like they CAN'T tank a dungeon without memorizing the mechanics completely before going through because they know people who've done it before will get pissed off and yell at them for it.

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From my experiences, this isn't really the case outside of the endgame content. Even in the end game content people tend to be lenient as long as the group is making progress and not wiping to the same thing every single time. Its fairly easy to spot those that are trying from those that are not.

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Originally Posted by Lascivus

Let people learn as they go. You shouldn't have to research things before doing them.

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I agree with this a lot, and outside of a few bad apples, I never really saw many ever bring it up. Most of the fight mechanics for any dungeon/trial can be learned fairly quickly by someone who is trying. Now getting the patterns and timings down for the really hard stuff... that is a different story. Which is one of the times I might recommend someone go and research a fight to help them get that down quicker after they have experienced it a time or two.

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Originally Posted by Lascivus

So I started playing this game about 6 months ago with my fiance. Neither of us knew much of anything about it and that was a huge part of why I was so excited to play it.

But now, the expectation that you're supposed to look up and know everything about a dungeon before doing it is literally ruining it for me. I understand being frustrated when someone doesn't know the mechanics, trust me. But getting pissed off at someone for not knowing when it's their first time going through is so stupid.

Literally my fiance feels like they CAN'T tank a dungeon without memorizing the mechanics completely before going through because they know people who've done it before will get pissed off and yell at them for it.

I absolutely hate this bullshit. Let people learn as they go. You shouldn't have to research things before doing them.

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It is not expected, but sure people that get annoyed with new players are a thing. Just have to take the experience on the chin and get back up dust yourself off and try again.

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Originally Posted by Lascivus

Like I said, I understand the frustration. But I'm the kind of person who doesn't want to know ANYTHING before doing something. Even with raids. I don't want to know. If you can't handle new people not knowing, then you need to reevaluate yourself. Or like. Explain how it works before jumping in. The game literally tells you that there are new people when you start.

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Also you have to take into consideration that just because the first time bonus message pops up that also does not mean the group in question is obligated to tell someone how each encounter plays out, or be willing to deal with a new player. This does not mean people should be rude to one another but alas jerks will be jerks.

Op it really boils down is use communication and learn to be okay with failing. You're new. Most people will be fine if your new. If you wipe once after going blind perhaps ask for tips. If you don't mind being spoiled by mechs then ask before you pull. If someone as an issue after using good communication skills, you are a couple, vote kick. But also work on growing a thicker skin. I had to do it. We all had to do it. Bc being panicky and worried about low end content will shelve the confidence you need to improve.

I watched Videos before doing any dungeons or trials. It's just common courtesy xD.

Since i was playing on early access, i had to use Trust on the first go around on every dungeon so i know what to expect xD. Trials, there were fanfest videos for Titania. The other 2 i had to do it blind since there were no videos about it xD.

Dungeons no one cares lol especially when it's a new xpac of course you won't know everything.

Now savage and ex trails is another story lol don't join wasting people time unless they say blind run. At least watch something lol it doesn't hurt. Although this is really my thought more towards savage, as ex trails are easy you can figure those out without a vid

I'm good enough of a healer to carry you, and good enough of a dps to kill things to make the fight a net gain. I never tell a tank how to tank. I have a preferred way for them to tank, which is to pull wall to wall, and it really annoys me when they don't, but it's not my wish to make my tank uncomfortable or to start an argument.

One of the funnest things to do is to tank brand new content. Day 1 of patch, as early as possible. No one can complain, because no one knows what they're doing. Everyone gets to find out (or die trying), what to do.

World of Darkness, first group was a fail, but we pushed on even when we knew we probably didn't have enough time, because we might figure out more mechanics and make the next run a success.

I've never looked up dungeons or trials before doing them the first time. I'm a good enough player to figure it out.

EX trials or savage raids though? Absolutely I watch videos for those. Because wasting people's time is rude and that level of content typically requires everyone to be on the same page going in.

No one really expects everyone to rush to youtube to look up the latest dungeon or raid guide for something just released (and really, dungeons hardly need guides anyway), and to be honest because the ilevel sync function is so loose with trials and raids a group can typically cheese their way through the first and even second tier of old content without too much trouble.

When you get to the final tier of content in an expansion however the minimum ilevel requirement actually catches up to the maximum ilevel of the expac and can no longer be easily cheesed by out hp'ing mechanics and hitting the boss hard, and since synced down gear loses all materia benefits as well your stats are actually lower than you would think going into these.
In this case even just looking up the big no-no mechanics about a fight is a courtesy everyone else there will appreciate, the unfortunate enough to get thrown into a tier three fight who were just hopping on to the roulette for a quick exp reward.

As for EX content.... that's up to your group.