I disagree with the curing the party part. Assist cure, yes that I would agree with. Main heal? no way, not unless it is designated before hand, and then you aren't going to be meleeing because you're going to have to be in refresh gear and have ballads or some other kind of mp recovery buffs over melee buffs. Obviously if the whm dies, then yes you would take over as main healer, but then you stop meleeing at that point too. It's the same with being backup tank. you stop doing other things to hold the NM while the PLD recovers. This requires that others have a bit of sense though. They need to stop hitting the mob as RDM doesn't have much in the way of hate gaining tools. When in this situation, I would have the WHM stop curing the DDs and the DDs stop hitting. I would cure the DDs until I have hate. Then I turtle up and wait for the PLD to recover.
Also, if you're meleeing, why would you be nuking? I can understand on Laevvid to cast a water nuke every 1000 TP to make it take melee damage, but other than that why would you nuke when meleeing? By definition you can't do them at the same time.

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