I agree with you that the targeting problem is non existent in other games. Saying that "most major MMO's" have a vanity option however, is very generous. In fact, there are very few top titles that come to mind; those that do only offer it as re-skins and/or appearance tabs in which the stats aren't even carried over. My definition isn't customized for this discussion. If you're using the term 'standard' you're stating something that is considered a general accepted guideline that top title MMO accept as.. well.. a standard:
  • Currency, trading system (auction houses, personal stores, etc.)
  • Personalized character development options (stat distribution, skill allocation, gearsets)
  • Functioning and balanced class/skill system
  • Challenging fights intertwined with character progression (raids, instances)
  • Sources for player income (equipment/item/material sales, crafting, quests)
  • Alternative leveling methods (repeatable quests, randomized instances, experience boost systems)
  • Expanded content/updates to retain playerbase's interest (expansions, events, promotion of character growth, etc)
  • Continued maintenance to address bugs

You will not find a successful MMORPG that does not have what is listed above. That is because these are the standards, and only a few are listed. That being said, PVP is not a standard. Vanity items are not a standard. A game being either open world or instance based is not a standard. Payment options are not standard. Heck, even character customization options don't have a standard. These are all things that would be considered to affect quality of life or are things at the developer's discretion. There is nothing "custom fit" about my statement, it's pretty straightforward.

Quote Originally Posted by Akihiko_Matsui
Matsui here.
[...]
However, as this is a very large change it will take us some time. We’ll first be looking into a feature that will allow you to keep a certain appearance temporarily.
What I see when I read this is that a lot of time is being divulged into a system so people can look pretty. That's great, and honestly I'd be all for that... if this was about 5 years ago and I didn't feel it was a cop-out for them to counter their lazy recycling of crap gear models and forcing people back into AF1.
For example, we are imagining a system where you could equip cosmetic equipment and lock your appearance, and then switch to your practical equipment. As an added effect, we are also planning to make it so you no longer blink when switching equipment.
[...]
Locked appearances will automatically be removed when changing areas.
So.. what I get from this is that this "lock" will only be activated manually every time we enter a zone, and has to be manually repeated every time. And this is only a convenient side-effect of the vanity system, and not an attempt to actually resolve the blinking issue.

Is a vanity system nice? Sure, and I wouldn't mind it. But will putting in a vanity system keep the 3/4 of the playerbase which have been playing for 5-10+ years on end? The same people that leave for something new because of severe mismanagement of endgame processes and lack of pre-planning/maintenance for content? No, it will not.

XI is dying, and its not because of XIV, or WildStar, or EQN, or any other top titles set for release this year. It's because players are done putting all their work into a game only to see it turn worthless after a single update. Players realize that they can't progress on something because SE once required large numbers for it, and since the interest and numbers no longer exist, said player is unable to progress because no update was made to adjust. Players look for new environments, new challenges with interesting mechanics, awesome looking loot, etc.. and we get.. well I've said it enough already. Point has been made.

Convince me that a vanity system is the best allocation of the developers time over the above, and I will concede. Otherwise, I feel my stance on this is entirely valid. A vanity system is the last thing we need. We've dealt with the distractions for far too many years, and it's time SE's stepped it up before everyone else steps down.