I apologize in advance for this rant thread. I also want to thank anyone in advance if you read through all of this. I'm not asking for a pity party, but need to get some things out.
My FC is/was a tightknit group. There's about 6 of us who log on consistently, and about 5 others who come and go. We always run roulettes together, but raids, EX primal farm (older primals for ponies and birds), hunts, maps, or a combination of them is when we can grab some of the other members who only come along on Saturday. Especially the guildleader.
Before I get into what happened, I would like to make some things known to those willing to hear me out. It will be important to know.
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The guildleader is someone most of us consider to be very selfish. When we group, she keeps us waiting around prior to queueing so she can tend to things that she can do later. Things like checking retainers and managing her inventory. Sensing the frustration from the other members, I would always ask them to be patient.
They have no desire to do workshop related activities because no one is compensated for their time. She sends out the airships and submarines and collects all the spoils for herself. We would tend to let this go because she puts in all the work, and we just show up so she has a full party to progress the projects. Her and I are really the only ones who enjoy crafting and gathering, but all us of rather be doing other things since she is so hush-hush about what she's up to.
A lot of time would pass before she could advance a project, and she would get frustrated with this. I explained to her what I just mentioned, and told her that the 'boys' will be more willing to help if she would participate more in the things we do as an FC such as daily roulettes, but it would always be me asking them for their help, and not her.
She's been playing a lot longer than myself, but I eventually surpassed her centurio gear because I actually grind tomes and raids. She'd talk about how much queue time sucks as a DPS, but any of us were always willing to tank and heal for her. Eventually, I wanted to finish up 4.5 as an FC but she was stuck at ilv340. So I grabbed my DRK and basically dragged her into roulettes so she could get to the ilv365 requirement to finish everything up. All the SB 8-man and 24-man raids, Four Lords, and Ghimlyt Dark were cleared for her because of my help.
There was a time when we a had a LOT more players in the FC, and most of them were fed up with her and left. All of them except me. I stood around even though she had not logged on for nearly three weeks, and took care of the gardens and stable. She eventually did come back and I let her know what happened, and assured her she still had me.
It was just her and I for a few months and we would have a lot of idle chat. Talking about everything, including some things going on irl. I considered her a friend. Eventually, I managed to get some players back - our current roster. I seemingly became the glue that kept everyone from leaving a second time as most of them came to me saying they were thinking about it.
Among those irl things we talked about, I let her know that I lost my job of 15 years over some crazy BS, which is another long story I won't get into. In short, I was screwed over by my former boss, and have been unemployed for about two months now. I got my unemployment claim approved, which the company is now appealing. Yup, after everything I sacrificed for them which includes personal time, and time away from my family. These last couple months, I've been falling deeper and deeper into a depressive state. I've been trying so hard to get a new job and complying with the regulations set by the unemployment company. So many applications sent out, and I've landed a few interviews. Still waiting to hear back from two of them; one of which would be such an awesome job to have, and a start to a new career.
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So what happened was last night we got together to do some maps. We have a strict rule that has always been in place that need is only rolled by the owner of the map. Everyone else is free to role greed if they want the item.
During one of my runs of the treasure dungeons I got a Thief's map, which we ran right away. Luck was totally on my side this run, and even pulled the x4 loot from the random card game in there and everyone got that Golden Namazu minion. We ended up clearing the whole dungeon and the Hedgehoglet minion dropped. I quickly made sure I had enough inventory space, and rolled need on it... but I didn't get it. The FC leader also rolled need and popped the minion immediately after getting it. When we questioned her why she rolled need, she said nothing and logged out.
I couldn't believe it. I still can't believe it. After everything I've done for her and the FC, and that she knows what a hard time I am having with life right now. I knew she was selfish, but to cheat me out of a minion worth 4 million gil I was blindsided. I talked with the other two members after cooling down a bit and told them I unfriended all four of her characters, and will proceed to blacklist all of them and leave the FC. One said it might have been an accident and to at least talk to her. I said I would sleep on it, but once I make a decision it is extremely rare I reverse it. I want absolutely nothing to do with her. Once your on my schite list, you are DONE.
Bare in mind, this has NOTHING to do with the minion. I can buy that minion without even scratching my back. It's about principle, etiquette, respect; along with the audacity and selflessness of others. That people always show their true colors eventually. I blame myself because I should have seen it coming, but there is nothing I wouldn't do for my friends and guildmates. I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Something that ends up biting me in the ass time and time again, and I think it's at the point where I can't fault anyone except my own damn self.
I'm no saint either. In my early days I've done things that have given me a profound amount of guilt and remorse I will always carry with me, and maybe that's why these things keep happening. I'll continue to try and be a good person and considerate and courteous of others. But yeah, it looks like I'm going to be FC-less for the first time since joining the game.
I really appreciate all of you, and thank you so much for your time.
Looks like I'm going to be looking for a new FC (rant)
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03-17-2019, 05:01 PMGeminaLooks like I'm going to be looking for a new FC (rant)
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03-17-2019, 05:25 PMInkstainedGwyn
One thing I've learned in my long years playing MMOs is that it's really hard to get along with some people - and if you really don't get along with someone, especially if there's a good reason for it, such as selfishness, then it's just going to keep getting worse. Games are downtime, fun time, relaxation, free time, and that's something that makes it even harder to deal with. After all, you should be enjoying your free time, not "working", or doing things that feel like work - and dragging someone through content, putting up with someone you don't really like, etc. all count as "work". And before someone else tries to say it - sure, breaking none of these "unwritten rules" is against ToS, etc. However, there's still such a thing as courtesy and respect, and this showed none of that.
So, no. I don't blame you in the slightest for feeling frustrated and angry about this. It's pretty clear that if this had been a first-time offense, it wouldn't have been such a deal-breaker, but it's everything leading up to it, too. As to whether or not leaving is the right option, I leave that up to you - ultimately, yes. You should get away from this person and not do anything else with/for them. I don't know what your situation is and whether or not anybody else would go with you, or if people would be willing to group with you if you stuck around in the FC & ignored the leader, etc.
I had something similar happen about a year and some change ago. I won't go into details, because it's water under the bridge, but I had a pretty bad falling-out with our former FC-leader, and there was this sort of "lead up", as well. How the whole drama was approached, however, turned off most of the others in the FC as well, and every single current-geared 70 left along with me when I quit the FC. The FC leader realised that they'd shot themselves in the foot, gave the FC over to someone we were still friends with, and left. We all went back, and now we're all pretty happy. I'm lucky - I still would have left, but without the rest of the group going with me, things wouldn't have turned out anywhere near as well... so I get just how hard a decision this is.
Ultimately, I hope you have friends that understand/agree with this and support you, but either way... well, you have my sympathy. There are childish, selfish people all over, and it sucks any time you spend your time on them only to be repaid with trouble. I hope you sort it out, and that you can find another group of folks if your current group isn't willing to back you up. -
03-17-2019, 05:26 PMCeridwenae
*hugs*
I don't really have much else to say other than a simple Chin up! Don't let the bastards get you down. And more of these *hugs* <- -
03-17-2019, 05:36 PMShougun
..... well that is ... humbug.
Wish you some good karma rolls and a nice new home! -
03-17-2019, 05:41 PMNessaWyvern
Yeah, you get people like that from time to time in this world sadly :/ we had someone in a FC for 1-2 years who one day just took everything out of the FC chest they could and disappeared to another server.
I wish you luck in your next FC, hopefully your next FC leader has more moral fibre. -
03-17-2019, 05:41 PMIscah
Sorry to hear about that. It sounds awful.
Is there maybe another FC that people tended to join after leaving yours? At least you'd know some people then. -
03-17-2019, 05:47 PMDustytome
It sounds more like she started an FC just to have her own fc and keeps people around to churn out points, but she has no desire to function as an FC leader. As for the minion, you don't say nothing and log out if it's a mistake. Hope you find an FC that feels like home and maybe some of your buddies can wander over with you.
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03-17-2019, 06:04 PMAwha
Sucks, but sounds as if you are better off in the long run.
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03-17-2019, 06:19 PMKaelah
Sounds like you made the right call, the FC lead sounds like a... *bleep*.
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03-17-2019, 06:31 PMBearded
You seem to have your head screwed on pretty well. Why not consider setting up a new FC with those from your friends who may also feel the same way as you do?
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03-17-2019, 07:17 PMKageTokage
I can relate, having been kicked from a FC because one of the officers apparently was housing a grudge against me for reasons I'm not entirely certain of and made up some blatant lies to the leader so I'd get kicked (The claim was that I actually hated the FC and that they saw me talking down about it...which is utterly stupid because I wouldn't have joined it in the first place had that really been the case).
The leader even admitted that they were probably full of BS but for the sake of the FC's integrity they felt it better to cave to their demands.
It really can be a chore to find a FC without any people who cause you trouble, honestly. -
03-17-2019, 08:33 PMErendisCould have just kicked the liar, but I guess it was not really about fc integrity...Quote:
Originally Posted by KageTokage
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03-17-2019, 08:41 PMGemina
Still awake and having troubles sleeping, but wanted to thank everyone for the support and kind words. Just so you guys know, I do have the support of the other guild members. They're like my older brothers looking after their little sis and have helped in so many ways throughout the days. They taught me how to tank in this game when I expressed how much I wanted to play DRK, encouraged my skill growth taking me into harder content I was once too intimidated to run, showed me the proper path to gearing up, and have always been very patient with me cuz I'm such a tortoise when it comes to progression, and have made sure I've caught no spoilers along the way; they've provided emotional support; were quick to jump on anyone who would try to give me a hard time in PUGs, among so many other things. I can't say they will leave the FC along with me, nor do I have any expectations of them to do so. I would never have the audacity to say, "I'm leaving so you guys should too." They were members of that FC long before I came along.
The current guildleader was given the FC after the previous leader decided to unsub from the game. I was told the previous leader did a much better job of getting people together, making things fun, and expansion. It worked much like an actual FC back then and that went away along with that leader, which was a big reason why so many ended up leaving when I first joined. The other member are the only reason why I'm even considering staying, but I just don't think I can even be around or associated with anything this crappy person is a part of. I'll only become infuriated seeing her name in the chat logs.
Similar to how there are no laws to protect me from what happened with my previous employer; there is nothing in the ToS the GMs can do anything about, even the new one. I am fully aware of these kind of people that exist in both the real world and the virtual world, and all we can do is no longer associate with them in any way and hope that they get a fat dose of karma somewhere down the line. It just sucks and there's no light at the end of the tunnel for me right now. I really didn't need this, and I'm just hurt. Things like this is why I resonate with the DRK job soooo much.
I can say that these other guild members and I will continue to be friends, and we'll still get together to run things. But even with a new FC, I know I'll be different. The chatty, high-spirited, and bubbly Gem in bruised up and needs time to heal. I don't/can't even think of starting a FC right now, and would be very shy and quite in a new FC. Perhaps after some moons pass things will get better. -
03-17-2019, 09:11 PMEnlaIt's why I refuse to leave mine, dead though it is right now with the content lull. Everyone is chill and I really /really/ do not want to play Russian Roulette in trying to find something similar just because people aren't as hyper active as they used to be. I've dealt with too many instances of nepotism, immaturity befitting five year olds from grown adults, and even people letting predators fester in their ranks for the sake of 'group unity' to really stick my neck out again.Quote:
Originally Posted by KageTokage
To Gemina, I'm super sorry you dealt with all that... And I hope you find a better place. ): -
03-17-2019, 09:23 PMKageTokageThe ironic thing is that the leader eventually ended up dropping out of the FC and making a new one after passing the leadership to someone else, so there was likely deeper issues I wasn't aware of.Quote:
Originally Posted by Erendis
I'll never know the truth of the matter because they refused to give any other specifics for the sake of "protecting" their members, which still bothers me to this day.
I feel this issue is probably more prevalent in what I've heard described as "Walmart FCs", that is, ones that invite anyone and everyone with the main intent being to bolster their numbers over establishing any real feeling of unity or community.Quote:
Originally Posted by Enla
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03-18-2019, 01:22 AMMirielleLavandre
*hugs* I'm sorry for your treatment, Gemina, and see that you're even on my server. I hope you are able to keep being cheerful and upbeat, though I completely understand wanting to go back to turtle mode and either become really isolated or really cynical. I recently also had a terrible experience with a FC on the server, so I kinda know where you're coming from. My first response was to just go into a 'all FCs suck and I'm never going to join another or even be nice to people since it'll just end badly'. But, then I saw that if I do that, and change my usually happy and nice self, then I'm kind of letting the mean people who caused me pain win -- in essence, letting the way they treated me dictate how I act towards others gives them more power than they deserve. So, hopefully you can keep smiling and having fun. If ya ever wanna chat or just hang out for fun, look me up ^_^v
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03-18-2019, 01:25 AMKeddera_StormMoon
Man, that is a serious kick in the teeth. You have my sympathies.
What's been with our server lately? I feel like this story has repeated a lot in various FC's lately.
My own FC is closed at the moment, but can make exceptions. Failing that, I can point you to another who I know at least has 2 exceedingly kind members that I think very highly of.
When you're ready, of course. -
03-18-2019, 01:29 AMDrWho2010
All of you should leave and create your own fc together and never interact with her again.
Also, i would suggest you take a break from the game and get your life sorted - getting depressed and being unemployed will color the way you view the game and could be dangerous as you use it to escape the real world. I know of a couple people in my group of online friends that have had their lives ruined somewhat because they played too much and couldn't get their real life sorted out. -
03-18-2019, 02:21 AMBrynne
Wow, that is awful. I'd be more upset about the betrayal of trust than the minion, too. >.> I'm sorry something like that happened.
If you want, you're welcome to join our FC, but it's a much bigger one with a lot of different types of people in it so it may not be the small, close-knit unit you're looking for. We do try to be friendly and inclusive to everyone, though! -
03-18-2019, 03:04 AMArrhin
Mmmmnn, variations of this story are sadly...somewhat common. People act different when there's no real consequences, and some are jus $#%@s. Good on all of those who maintain a sense of dignity, respect and honor online. Rest o them &%^$er can go an #$#%@^^@%^ up a #%^#$^$%damned pole fer all I care <.< . I hope yer irl stuffs gets sorted too, you sound like a decent person who I'd love to have in my FC xD
(I too am bubbly, yet...crass an an acquired taste I s'pose) -
03-18-2019, 06:07 AMEmstidorThere's no TOS rule against bad FC leaders, but there very much is one against violating established loot rules. This is why before every maps session, even friendly FC ones, I'll casually be the one to bring up "So just to confirm, everyone is cool with X system?" and wait for an agreement before we start, just to protect everyone from jerks down the line.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemina
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03-18-2019, 06:36 AMArrhinYup, me too. And if it's a PF the loot rules is established in the PF details. I always do Need for all, fairs fair and RNG favours no one.Quote:
Originally Posted by Emstidor
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03-18-2019, 08:03 AMlinay
As much as I have some of the worst result with RNG (case in point being last night's map runs), cases like this is why I'm glad my FC always do FFA for maps. I never knew about rules like this until I once joined a PF map party that was called out in a hunt linkshell. I don't mind it if the party leader wants to have such a rule, and certainly if you've agreed to the rule by staying in the party, then you should abide by the rule, but FFA just seems a more stress free environment with less expectations on other people.
Anyways, I hope you'll find a more suitable FC soon (if not already by the time of this post).
EDIT: I was wondering if lootmaster would've prevented this situation, but then again, the lootmaster could've been the problem, oh well. -
03-18-2019, 08:22 AMEmstidor"Your map your loot" is the dumbest and worst loot method and it boggles my mind that so many people support it. Free-for-all makes people excited to play other people's maps and encourages them to play at their best, because every map cleared is another chance to roll for loot, and it also makes you root for maps that aren't yours to be successful, since every new floor is another chance at winning great prizes for you.Quote:
Originally Posted by linay
YM, YL, on the other hand is basically the opposite. The only map that's important is the one(s) that you brought, so there's no real incentive to put any effort beyond the bare minimum into other people's maps. Worse, after a while you actually start cheering for no portals or failed doors because it means you're advancing through the chore of other people's maps that much faster. -
03-18-2019, 08:35 AMArrhin
I prefer to do maps with established groups. I mean we have it easy with a small 3 FC alliance erryone knows each other or can vet the newcomers. We always do FFA unless someone has a legit beforehand request for an item if it drops. Oftentimes we'll trade around stuffs after too. Back to the main point though I just had the most toxic party in Eureka (I know, I know) I wish more ppl would put their best foot forward in these games instead of using it as their shit on stress reducer or whatever the excuse is. OP, I wish you much good fortune in all yer future endeavors, if I was on yer server I would go into yer FC leaders house and touch ALL THEIR STUFF!
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03-18-2019, 08:51 AMMoomba33
Sorry for your bad experience Gemina. =/
I hope that you are able to find a trustworthy new FC in game and get some great job offers in real life. -
03-18-2019, 09:55 AMLiam_Harper
Unfortunately you see this a lot, it's unbelievable how much valuable ingame items can show you about a persons character. You have people like your GM who will give into temptation and nab the opportunity selfishly... and you also see the opposite where there are people who would be willing to pass entirely, just to let their friends have it and brighten their day a little.
Sadly that bit of bad was probably always lurking in your FC leader and this incident brought it to the surface and highlighted it.
However, this also comes as a blessing. You know their character without a doubt now and this means you can move on from a toxic enviornment and go out and surround yourself with the nicer people instead. You can take what you've learned and apply it to future frienships. Devote your time and effort into helping people who also have your interests at heart. There's no reason you can't find a friendly FC and enjoy the game with them. Your leader will already take a big dose of karma in that someone who's helped them through a ton of trials and with various FC activity is gone and all they have in exchange is a hedgehog.
See it as a new opportunity and being set free from catering to your leader indefinitely. -
03-18-2019, 09:56 AMEnlaEh, if you're doing maps specifically to get certain items it makes sense. Personally I usually just tell everyone to need unless I absolutely want something or need it for crafting, but I completely understand why others would be pissed otherwise. Only time I've ever really had issue with it was with a former friend who insisted that not only were the drops his, but also the shit that ended up in our inventories as well like the material and low quality maps. Thankfully he didn't demand the gil as well but I never ran a map with him after that - and it's part of the reason why he's no longer my friend.Quote:
Originally Posted by Emstidor
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03-18-2019, 10:34 AMlinayYikes, does he not even consider that they are rewarded for others for having helping him run a duty? Otherwise, he should just run maps solo, then everything would be his.Quote:
Originally Posted by Enla
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03-18-2019, 10:44 AMEnlaHe didn't, and based on other factors that led me to dropping that friendship he was a pretty classic example of a narcissist. To him it was /his map/ and everything in there was /his/. At the time it was easier just to hand it over rather than cause a fight, but I'm not the only one who stopped helping him with maps after that. Some people either lack the self awareness or simply don't care because they see it as their right to act that way.Quote:
Originally Posted by linay
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03-18-2019, 11:15 AMGemina
Wow! What a day, and I am truly exhausted. I wanted to give an update to the situation. I also wanted to thank all of you again, along with my fellow Sirenians whom some reached out to me in-game while I was logged on. This community truly is the best. That is one thing I am certain of, and I think Yoshi and company would smile upon us all if they were aware of today's events. But like some of you have pointed out, variations of such encounters can be found all over the place on all servers and DCs.
So I did end up leaving the FC, and I had a feeling I would not be able to do so without them putting up a fight. And fight they did. All of them, including the guild leader. But I will get to that. I was going to send them all mail letting them know of my departure, but I didn't really get the chance. One by one they showed up at my house. One also brought the minion and despite my numerous attempts to not accept the trade, just kept initiating the trade with me until I accepted. We'll call him the 'Stubborn Knucklehead'. They also brought a linkpearl so we could all communicate though the FC leader was not part of these communications. However, they remained in FC chat with her.
During the LS chat, a lot of things were discussed and they let me know that the guild leader was feeling very badly about what happened and she very much wanted to fix things. They convinced me to at least hear her out before leaving permanently. We talked about how we are very much like a family, and things would never be the same if anyone left. A lot came out. Other members were also admitting to their own faults and how they could do things better.
During my conversation with the FC leader, which lasted for the better part of a couple of hours (I was going to post some of the chat, but it's just way too much), some things finally came out. She danced around some of my questions at first, but I told her that it wasn't going to work, and she had to answer them. But I asked her if she was jealous or felt threatened by me, and she admitted that she was and couldn't help but wonder why everyone is so quick to help me as they once did with her. It drove her a little batty that I geared up so quickly after hitting 70, and she could not understand why I seem to just have all the luck. She had three maps that night, and not one portal opened for her. Me though? First map, portal - acquired thief's map upon completing the dungeon; next dungeon doors kept opening, mini bosses, madragoras, card game played, max loot, ridiculously cute minion etc. I had to remind her what I hard time I'm having right now, and maybe... just maybe things like that happen to give me a little breather, and it was not right to strip that from me.
Because she admitted to her wrong doings, told me why she acted in the manner she did and apologized, and said it would be an honor to still have me in the FC and would do what it takes to fix things, I told the other mates that I think things will be ok. I didn't go back into the FC just yet though, but said that I was still hurt and was extremely exhausted. They along with another poster in this thread advised that a take a bit of a break from the game, and I think they're right. With the appeal hearing coming up and having to face my jerk of an ex boss, and getting all my ducks in a row; still finding another job and getting my car fixed, my focus should probably not be on the game right now. It will still be here when I return and so will my in-game family.
Ugh! my face just hurts right now. I am famished and deprived of sleep. So break it is. Once I get some things sorted out I'll return. I probably won't be around here much either but I promise I'll be refreshed given just a little time. But right now I just want to listen to streams flowing down a mountain and other soothing sounds of nature.
I'll be back soon Eorzeans! :) -
03-18-2019, 11:21 AMCanadane
Best of luck to you. Truly.
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03-18-2019, 01:14 PMSoupaMe thinks a leader whose willing to scam their members out of rare minions like that isent to be trusted with a leadership status to begin with. Consider possible changes to whose leading the company unless she really makes up for it herself, not via anyone else.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemina
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03-18-2019, 04:58 PMCeridwenaeGood luck with your RL stuff. I really hope everything works out in your favour. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Gemina
As for taking a break from the game, yep, that seems wise. Your RL stuff should always come first. If I may offer a suggestion, however, don't forget to have some fun time too! If your fun is typically playing this game, why not make a no-frills, no-worries alt on a different server? Regardless, it sounds like you have broken down some walls with your FC leader, and that can only be a good thing to help you heal in time.
Again, good luck. <3 :) -
03-18-2019, 05:10 PMKaelah
Thanks for updating, I'm glad to hear some lovely folks on your server reached out to you, I love this community at times.
Sounds like that was a much needed chat with the FC lead, her actions were still very wrong though, a break from the FC is definitely wise. I've taken breaks from the game during hard times too, they can make you enjoy the game all the more when you return. I hope things improve for you and you come back soon. :) -
03-18-2019, 06:32 PMAlrin
Stay strong Gemina and believe in yourself.
You should start your own FC. It sounds like you would be great guild leader. Im sure that your friends would follow you there.
And about RL... fingers crossed! Things will be okay soon! -
03-18-2019, 06:41 PMUnrealTai
I had to stop reading after the part about making you all sit there to complete her airship pieces and keeping the gil.
I volunterd to help someone in PF do theirs ONCE and it was the most painful experience ive had in the game. (notice I joined this forum when it re released in 2011 so it says alot)
I would never ask others to constantly sit in there for me, and if i did id give gil for it.
I would have dropped that Fc after a single day.
Edit: ok Ive read everything including the update now.
She sounds like a sociopath honestly. And I dont mean that loosely. Something about the way her apology is described sounds very artificial. Takes one to know one, I used to be one, a long time ago. Not sure how or why I changed and both happy and sad I did. Anyways
I would stay away from her. Hard to explain without making this a book as to what Im seeing in her behavior.
Ill try to put it into one paragraph. Someone who constantly, screws you over, then feigns apologizing each time, is just using that apology to play you, the non sociopath, right into their hand, because they know you have emotions which they do not. Which is why they keep doing it. She doesnt think twice about it nor lose any sleep.
Getting your life together also requires a balance, while you have things to fix IRL that doesnt mean forget enjoying games altogether too. Fix your life and keep playing here and there. And Id strongly advise ignoring statements from your friends where even her name is mentioned and talk about somehing else when she coms up. Just shut her out. -
03-19-2019, 01:10 AMGeminaI get what you're saying, and I don't want you think that I am throwing caution into the wind. I am not someone who is unfamiliar with the behavioral patterns of a sociopath. I dated one several years back, and I know all about fake flake apologies, empty promises and manipulation. I took a lot of things into consideration, which is why I did not just hop back into the FC after my discussion with her, and decided to take a break from the game. It's going to take some time to heal from this and everything that has been going on. She's not someone who has "constantly" screwed me over, but her previous behavior is most certainly unacceptable, and I will not be taken for granted.Quote:
Originally Posted by UnrealTai
However, other things have to be taken into account as well such as my emotional instability, and allowing things in the real world to bleed into the game. It isn't just her testimony but the other FC members admitting their own faults and advising me to hear her out after their own discussions with her. It is clear at this point that leaving the FC affected everyone. I did not expect anyone to leave with me, and mentally prepared myself to be on my own again, but I also did not expect them to fight so hard in the name of the FC. What I determined is that the FC leader is not the FC. The other members weren't fighting for her, or even me. They were fighting for the FC, which basically goes bye bye if any of the core members leave for good. Everyone knows that should I make the decision to come back, some things are going to have to change and nothing less than those changes are going to keep this thing together.
In short, this is bigger than just myself or her. I was also being quite selfish during all of this making it all about me and my feelings, and not even considering how my departure would make the others feel and react, and I feel horrible for it. Trust me, this was not brought to my attention by anyone other than myself after I have processed some of my thoughts and allowed myself to cool down enough to think rationally again. However, I do greatly appreciate the warnings. They are most certainly justified. -
03-19-2019, 02:15 AMJillian
Sorry for what you are going through OP. I hope things get better for you. As for what happened between you and your old FC leader, don't blame yourself. You were just trying to be a good person and a good friend. You obviously try to see the good in people and give them the benefit of the doubt, which is not a bad thing. Try not to be too hard on yourself and use this as a learning experience.
Most people I've run into on this game are genuinely nice people and I'm lucky to have found the good friends I have now in my FC. Eventually, you will find a good FC with great people. You could always create your own FC with some of the people you get along with (That's what I did.) Either way, don't let one bad apple make you doubt yourself. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you made in the past and continue to be a kind and considerate person. You shouldn't have to carry around this burden of guilt; you deserve better.