Is this typical tank behavior in DF dungeons?

So I main PLD I usually tank unless a friend or FC/LS mate wants to tank, but in this case I went in to 50/60 rolo with my RDM and my in game wife went healer(WHM). So a little but into the dungeon she gets a lag spike and everything freezes up, she hits bene cause she's worried the dude was gonna die while she was lagging and the PLD immediately calls her out and starts going off on her and calls her a ****y healer, I stood up for her saying I've known her for 3 years and she's anything but a ****y healer then he called me a simpleton and that we were just casuals. Ironically earlier he had forgot to apply any oath and I pulled aggro but I didn't call him out on him I just thought "meh its DF", I did bring it up after he went on his rant though and he went on about how he was allowed to make mistakes and she wasn't. Should I just try to tank as often as possible to avoid these kinds of people?

Typical, no. Some people are just dumb. Most tanks can understand if something happens to go wrong.

I would vote kick him before last boss lol (you got 2/3 votes on your side already). He'd probably end up breaking his monitor from the rage after.

1) We have an actual thread dedicated to sharing horrible DF-stories: http://forum.square-enix.com/ffxiv/t...ry.-Let-s-vent. No need to create a seperate thread each time you run into idiots in a dungeon

2) No, obviously not all tanks in this game are jerks.

3) Jerkish behaviour is not exclusive to tanks either - you can meet impatient DPS and healers (who might pull for you) just as likely.

4) Personally, I'd still bring a tank and a DPS for each run, to ensure fast and smooth clears. At least thats what I'm doing - I tank, my boyfriend comes as DPS that way I can set a fast pace and he ensures that stuff actually dies quick enough to keep said pace.

5) As I sort of mentioned earlier: This still wont prevent you from running into jerks or outright bad people from time to time. Nothing you can really do to avoid that, beside only going into dungeons as full group. So my advice here is: Just move on. You'll meet those people on occassion, if its really getting out of hand: Report. If they're hindering your run or getting really abusive: Kick them.
But dont waste a second thought on them. If you need to vent - I linked a thread dedicated to that. But getting a thicker skin, shrugging things like that off and just enjoying your game is the best thing you can do.
At least in my experience stuff like this happens rarely enough. Dont let it get to you - theres no way to avoid jerks, they're not linked to a specific role after all. (I'd only recommend to bring a tank so you have the most "control" over the run and can ensure that stuff gets pulled fast - nothing enrages me as much as a tank taking a minute to pull stuff, but the only thing you ensure by queuing up as tank - or healer or DPS for that matter - is that this role is filled by a competent person. You can still end up with a jerkish dragoon or whitemage, even if you queue as tank)

6) Proper communication can go a long way aswell - informing your party about your lag-issues as soon as they appear. They might believe you or not, but seriously... "I've known her for 3 years!" sounds like a boyfriend making a shallow excuse for his girlfriend rather than she telling the party herself "Sorry, got a lag-spike here!"
Again, might be "personal preference", but I would disregard a bf defending his gf much, much faster than she informing the party herself about a technical issue she got right now. It speaks way more to her own competence if she just says that instead of you telling the party how long you've known her.

Bottomline: Jerks will be jerks; jerks can fill any role and you'll avoid them by avoiding randoms; we have a thread to vent if you need to.

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Originally Posted by Vidu

Bottomline: Jerks will be jerks; jerks can fill any role and you'll avoid them by avoiding randoms; we have a thread to vent if you need to.

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I guess my thing is, I typically don't care if people make mistakes during the dungeon as long as its not causing consistent wipes, there was no wipes here, no deaths, just her panicing and hitting the wrong button I was just really shocked at such an intense response to a simple mistake.

I've seen a tank just abandon the party in the The Tam-Tara Deepcroft because the party was moving a bit faster then she liked and she wouldn't tolerate not having her way for even a second. This is the The Tam-Tara Deepcroft mind you, where a tank isn't even technically needed to tank if everyone is being synced. Is this the norm? No. Most players in the daily roulette just want to get the low level duties over with as fast as possible.

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Originally Posted by SerLuke

I guess my thing is, I typically don't care if people make mistakes during the dungeon as long as its not causing consistent wipes, there was no wipes here, no deaths, just her panicing and hitting the wrong button I was just really shocked at such an intense response to a simple mistake.

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Has nothing to do with him being a tank though - I have seen healers refuse to heal or raise people because they thought those people did something wrong and then comment on that with "I dont heal stupid".
I've seen a monk refusing constant raises in O12NM because the tank dared to pull without a cooldown. Which obviously is an annoying thing to do, specially for a monk who needs some prep-time, but not bad enough to act as petty as he did and stay dead on the floor for the next 10 minutes, having the healer (who wasnt his poor partner, going by them having the same last name) and the RDM waste mana on his dead butt.

You'll run into this kind of people no matter what role you pick for yourself - the best advices I can give you are to pick the more vital roles so you can control the run more easly and kick people if needed, to grow a thicker skin and move one from the jerks you will encounter and to actually imrpove your communication with the party to not let those situations escalte. (Also: Vent in the thread dedicated to it)

That's not even typical for bad tank behavior. The typical douche finder tank usually plays in a way that makes things difficult for others and doesn't give two shits about it. For example: a recent PUG WAR I had in Pharos Sirius HM would Tomahawk each individual mob in the pack instead of using Overpower, and it was causing him to lose hate to anyone who would start attacking prior to him grabbing all the enemies. When called out, he said Overpower sucks because it's a cone and told us to hold off on attacking until he has full agro. Freakin /facepalm man.

Your tank is a special kind of douche because a tank who calls out a healer for healing them is a unique brand of stupid. Either way, DF is always a roll of the dice and it isn't surprising when a tank main is taken aback a bit when they role as something different and notice just how shitty DF tanks can be.

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Originally Posted by Edax

I've seen a tank just abandon the party in the The Tam-Tara Deepcroft because the party was moving a bit faster then she liked and she wouldn't tolerate not having her way for even a second. This is the The Tam-Tara Deepcroft mind you, where a tank isn't even technically needed to tank if everyone is being synced. Is this the norm? No. Most players in the daily roulette just want to get the low level duties over with as fast as possible.

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You're post sums up whats wrong with the community.Just because you're in a lower level dungeon and all synced level doesnt give you the right to show complete disrespect to the tank regardless if you can handle the mobs without a tank or not.
You were being impatient and running ahead of the tank on purpose by the sound of it.
Most people dont check peoples profiles on runs unless there is a problem arising from low dps or heal or tanks taking too much damage.
By running ahead of tank on purpose you are setting a bad habit that newer high level players will adapt and in turn do to new tanks.
I suggest you go back and learn the basics.Rule 1 tank goes first.

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Originally Posted by Metalwrath

You're post sums up whats wrong with the community.Just because you're in a lower level dungeon and all synced level doesnt give you the right to show complete disrespect to the tank regardless if you can handle the mobs without a tank or not.
You were being impatient and running ahead of the tank on purpose by the sound of it.
Most people dont check peoples profiles on runs unless there is a problem arising from low dps or heal or tanks taking too much damage.
By running ahead of tank on purpose you are setting a bad habit that newer high level players will adapt and in turn do to new tanks.
I suggest you go back and learn the basics.Rule 1 tank goes first.

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There were no newbies in that run and the tank for whatever reason was moving unusually slow. Me the other dps and the healer were moving ahead of the tank because of that, this wasn't just me acting out. We asked the tank to move faster and she responded by quitting immediately. I'm sorry but I've also tanked and duties are a team effort and if the team requests an increase the pace of the run, quitting instantly instead of asking us to slow down was not the polite thing to do. The quitting penalty exists for a reason. I'm sorry if you feel I'm what's wrong with the community.

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Originally Posted by Edax

There were no newbies in that run and the tank for whatever reason was moving unusually slow. Me the other dps and the healer were moving ahead of the tank because of that, this wasn't just me acting out. We asked the tank to move faster and she responded by quitting immediately. I'm sorry but I've also tanked and duties are a team effort and if the team requests an increase the pace of the run, quitting instantly instead of asking us to slow down was not the polite thing to do. I'm sorry if you feel I'm what's wrong with the community.

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If they were moving slow and they dsiconnected it sounds to me like they had connection issues or lag.
Also plenty of level 70 players are new.The way leveling is now your character level doesnt define how new you are anymore.Also i never said specifically the tank could be new.

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Originally Posted by Metalwrath

If they were moving slow and they dsiconnected it sounds to me like they had connection issues or lag.
Also plenty of level 70 players are new.The way leveling is now your character level doesnt define how new you are anymore.Also i never said specifically the tank could be new.

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Usually it's the polite thing to do to tell the team your lagging or having connection issues, instead of just instantly quitting because the team asked you to move faster. And no, she did not disconnect, you can tell when a player has quit a duty cause their portrait disappears.

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Originally Posted by Edax

Usually it's the polite thing to do to tell the team your lagging or having connection issues, instead of just instantly quitting because the team asked you to move faster.

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Not everyone has a keyboard.Stop looking for excuses to make the tank look like the bad guy.

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Originally Posted by Metalwrath

Not everyone has a keyboard.Stop looking for excuses to make the tank look like the bad guy.

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I tank. But since you have already labeled me:

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Originally Posted by Metalwrath

whats wrong with the community

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I see no point in continuing this discussion.

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Originally Posted by Edax

There were no newbies in that run and the tank for whatever reason was moving unusually slow. Me the other dps and the healer were moving ahead of the tank because of that, this wasn't just me acting out. We asked the tank to move faster and she responded by quitting immediately. I'm sorry but I've also tanked and duties are a team effort and if the team requests an increase the pace of the run, quitting instantly instead of asking us to slow down was not the polite thing to do. The quitting penalty exists for a reason. I'm sorry if you feel I'm what's wrong with the community.

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"Tankxiety" can hit pretty hard, especially if you get called out by your party "^ ^

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Originally Posted by Ameela

"Tankxiety" can hit pretty hard, especially if you get called out by your party "^ ^

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I have "tanxiety" all the time. This is why I usually communicate at the very start of the duty to set the pace or just before a boss I don't remember. The tank is suppose to be the de facto leader after all and communication is a very important part of that.

This sounds like the typical DF stuff that you find sometimes, regardless of the role. It's true, tho, that some tanks have some kind of god complex, but you can also find others that are nice and helpful. Just ignore the bad players (don't even bother to reply to their crap, don't give them the attention that they want), report them if they get too far, and be done with it. It's useless to think too much about it, and they don't deserve it either. Your gaming experience will be better on the long run, too.

Kick, report, and move on with your life. You have already given the idiot too much attention.

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Originally Posted by Edax

I tank. But since you have already labeled me:

I see no point in continuing this discussion.

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I also tank, and they are right that you handled the situation very poorly. You said yourself that the tank leads, so you should let them lead. I get it, we all rush low-level dungeons and can be a bit inconsiderate at times, its part of being human, but that doesn't make you right or justified.

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Originally Posted by Ameela

"Tankxiety" can hit pretty hard, especially if you get called out by your party "^ ^

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Yeah it really does, when I’m on my PLD I get a lot of anxiety if people run ahead of me and start pulling like they are telling me I’m doing a bad job without saying, if I’ve misjudged the amount to pull and I’m pulling too conservatively I’m generally willing to be flexible and pull more of the part asks, running ahead of me just makes me feel like I’m a crappy player/tank, I have aspergers though so maybe I take stuff more personally than others do

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Originally Posted by Lambdafish

Kick, report, and move on with your life. You have already given the idiot too much attention.



I also tank, and they are right that you handled the situation very poorly. You said yourself that the tank leads, so you should let them lead. I get it, we all rush low-level dungeons and can be a bit inconsiderate at times, its part of being human, but that doesn't make you right or justified.

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If I'd stayed behind the tank, it would also mean leaving the DPS and healer whom is at the front unsupported. That would also be inconsiderate. It's a low-level dungeon. Once combat has started, you help out right? Leaving your team to fend for themselves to "respect" the tank is awfully obtuse.

I dunno, I've always had the attitude of "You pull it, you tank it" myself. But I guess this game is too forgiving in the lower levels for that threat to be effective.

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Originally Posted by Edax

If I'd stayed behind the tank, it would also mean leaving the DPS and healer whom is at the front unsupported. That would also be inconsiderate. It's a low-level dungeon. Once combat has started, you help out right? Leaving your team to fend for themselves to "respect" the tank is awfully obtuse.

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If the DPS and healer are pulling mobs and die from it, I don't see how that's inconsiderate on your part.

Like I said, we all rush ahead sometimes, but that's not a right that you have. Not letting the tank lead and instead going off ahead and pulling mobs as DPS and healers doesnt help anyone learn and is inconsiderate no matter how you look at it, and making excuses doesn't help your case

I am willing to bet no reasonable people would come to this conclusion even if this was their first ever dungeon experience, which means that this is definitely a perfectly reasonable and believable story and not at all a pathetic attempt to garner attention.

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Originally Posted by SerLuke

So I main PLD I usually tank unless a friend or FC/LS mate wants to tank, but in this case I went in to 50/60 rolo with my RDM and my in game wife went healer(WHM). So a little but into the dungeon she gets a lag spike and everything freezes up, she hits bene cause she's worried the dude was gonna die while she was lagging and the PLD immediately calls her out and starts going off on her and calls her a ****y healer, I stood up for her saying I've known her for 3 years and she's anything but a ****y healer then he called me a simpleton and that we were just casuals. Ironically earlier he had forgot to apply any oath and I pulled aggro but I didn't call him out on him I just thought "meh its DF", I did bring it up after he went on his rant though and he went on about how he was allowed to make mistakes and she wasn't. Should I just try to tank as often as possible to avoid these kinds of people?

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I would say No, it's not typical behavior based on my experience. For the past year I have been playing, I think I had two rude people in a group. Everyone else has always been pleasant, helpful, or just quiet.

This is very normal, which is sad to say.

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Originally Posted by AppleJinx

I am willing to bet no reasonable people would come to this conclusion even if this was their first ever dungeon experience, which means that this is definitely a perfectly reasonable and believable story and not at all a pathetic attempt to garner attention.

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I have aspergers so I’m not really getting what you are trying to say here please be as direct as possible.

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Originally Posted by SerLuke

and my in game wife went healer(WHM)

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First off Aww <3
Secondly I would recommend reporting that kind of behavior. It's not normally how people act in dungeons but there has been an influx in toxic players of late. Last month I had two people become abusive towards me simply because of my pink glam. (one of which actually used a slur).

most people understand that life happens and mistakes a made. I typically don't get frustrated with players that i'm playing with unless they refuse to learn from mistakes made in a duty. And I legitimately get mad when people start blaming other people for either their mistakes or life happening.

Typically people who go as far as what your talking about are kicked for harassment.

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Originally Posted by Lambdafish

If the DPS and healer are pulling mobs and die from it, I don't see how that's inconsiderate on your part.

Like I said, we all rush ahead sometimes, but that's not a right that you have. Not letting the tank lead and instead going off ahead and pulling mobs as DPS and healers doesnt help anyone learn and is inconsiderate no matter how you look at it, and making excuses doesn't help your case

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I'm assuming that you've played the lower level duties many times, so should already know that the parties moves at a momentum that is outside the control of any one player. By saying I don't actually have the right is overstepping your bounds. I don't care what you say my rights are. I can just as easily say the tank had no right to throw a tantrum and quit. I can also easily say DPS and Healer have every right to move ahead if they can handle it and the tank has no right to get emotional about it, especially at the bottom level duties where a tank isn't even needed. Or what, am I now encouraged to quit teams that go ahead of me every I tank now too? Do you approve of me having this right?

Edax - There are some people on these forums who are incapable of ever blaming the tank. Sometimes these arguments arent worth having.

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Originally Posted by Alucard135

I would vote kick him before last boss lol (you got 2/3 votes on your side already). He'd probably end up breaking his monitor from the rage after.

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You. I like you. Hahaha.
Seriously, this seems mean but people like him need to learn that if you aren't nice to others, then they won't want to play with you. If you can't play nicely, go play some other toxic multiplayer game. Like League. FFXIV generally has such a friendly community, it's a real shame when we get some of those immature jerks voicing their opinions rather loudly.

The level of toxicity in XIV has been several magnitudes lower then any other MMO I've played when it comes to random dungeons.

It helps that there's a lot less pressure due to the damage being tuned low enough that getting aggro from a mob isn't going to be almost immediately lethal like it is in some other MMOs.

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Originally Posted by Edax

I don't care what you say my rights are. I can just as easily say the tank had no right to throw a tantrum and quit. I can also easily say DPS and Healer have every right to move ahead if they can handle it and the tank has no right to get emotional about it, especially at the bottom level duties where a tank isn't even needed. Or what, am I now encouraged to quit teams that go ahead of me every I tank now too? Do you approve of me having this right?

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I also don't actually care how you play the game, only how the game is designed. If you want to move ahead and leave a player behind, because "you can", go ahead, but you are responsible for the consequences and who you disrespect because of that decision. You come across like you shouldn't need to think about the tank at all, and the only experience that matters is your own, which when combined with what you just wrote about who you think is right says a lot about the situation. You said that the tanks job is to lead, but also that you wouldn't let the tank lead, and that nobody was wrong except the tank for leaving.

Again, I'm not emotionally invested in any of your dungeon runs, but the fact that you are here on the forums defending your actions and treating yourself as the victim, even after being called out several times, to quote Metalwrath:

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Originally Posted by Metalwrath

sums up whats wrong with the community.

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Edit: To more directly answer your question, because for some reason this is needed, if the DPS and healer go ahead of you when you play as a tank, and you leave, that is a right that you have, because:
A) You feel that taking the consequence of an extended timer is preferable to dealing with a toxic party
B) It falls within the GMs definition of "differences of playstyle". (Though in this case, the tank played the game as intended, and you decided not to, causing point A).

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Originally Posted by Lambdafish

I also don't actually care how you play the game, only how the game is designed. If you want to move ahead and leave a player behind, because "you can", go ahead, but you are responsible for the consequences and who you disrespect because of that decision. You come across like you shouldn't need to think about the tank at all, and the only experience that matters is your own, which when combined with what you just wrote about who you think is right says a lot about the situation. You said that the tanks job is to lead, but also that you wouldn't let the tank lead, and that nobody was wrong except the tank for leaving.

Again, I'm not emotionally invested in any of your dungeon runs, but the fact that you are here on the forums defending your actions and treating yourself as the victim, even after being called out several times, to quote Metalwrath:






Edit: To more directly answer your question, because for some reason this is needed, if the DPS and healer go ahead of you when you play as a tank, and you leave, that is a right that you have, because:
A) You feel that taking the consequence of an extended timer is preferable to dealing with a toxic party
B) It falls within the GMs definition of "differences of playstyle". (Though in this case, the tank played the game as intended, and you decided not to, causing point A).

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I'm not treating myself as the victim. As I have repeatedly said, the tank wasn't needed at such a low level duty, we proceeded with the duty just fine without her. I was pointing out toxic behavior, only to receive several excuses for that tank. At least now I know I can troll parties by quitting the instant anyone ever gets ahead of me when I tank now. I used to try my hardest to stick it out with even the greenest party but I know I need not bother anymore. It'll be hilarious making them wait in that DPS duty queue twice. *evil cackle*

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Originally Posted by KageTokage

The level of toxicity in XIV has been several magnitudes lower then any other MMO I've played when it comes to random dungeons.

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Yeah, while I do on occasion find an elitist jerk or a legit aweful player not open to constructive criticism, by and large DF experiences for me have been pleasant or at least neutral in the game. Though that does make some of the legit bad experiences stand out a bit, they're fairly rare for me.

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Originally Posted by Bright-Flower

Yeah, while I do on occasion find an elitist jerk or a legit aweful player not open to constructive criticism, by and large DF experiences for me have been pleasant or at least neutral in the game. Though that does make some of the legit bad experiences stand out a bit, they're fairly rare for me.

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This has been my experience typically. There are always gonna be those who are full of it and talk so much smack and are jerks for even teh slightest infractions, but those cases are pretty rare I believe. Most people are satisfied if you get through the dungeon fairly quickly and without issue.

As for the OP, yeah the tank appears to have been a grade A jerk and try-hard. I would let it go and not let it bother you. Guy was being an ass. Just worry about yourself and do your best and things will work out.