Dealing with Panic and anxiety during high end content

This is something that I'm particularly really really really bad with

Specifically with savage raids in particular.

Today I finally found a good party to clear O8S with,yet my stupid incompetent ass squandered this opportunity so badly by constantly panicking on Forsaken 2 and losing my sense of direction once I finish dropping the last aoe from the melee dance

I felt like a scum of the earth and legit wanted to die when that happened,I memorized this fight to a T,I did so many retries to the point the whole fight is itched in my mind to the point where it's even playing in my head as I'm typing this.Yet I was that one anchor that dragged our party down and I absolutely have zero excuse for it.

Yes it is a video game but I absolutely hate wasting other people's time especially those who came in legit trying to help me.

Even if I got over my panic and anxiety,once I finish O8S I'll probably quit high end raiding for a long while,I don't think I'm cut for neither Alphascape savage nor the two Ultimate fights.

To be fair, O9S is far less stressful than O8S. Kefka/God Kefka was the final raid boss for Sigmascape, so it stands to reason that he would be tougher than the previous 3 fights. Alphascape does the same thing - O9S to O11S aren't that bad. It takes time to really get into a groove and learn to take things with confident. Don't give up. Just give it some time, practice, and I have no doubt I'll be seeing you on the rare occassion I go into the PF

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Originally Posted by MetalSnakeXI1

This is something that I'm particularly really really really bad with

Specifically with savage raids in particular.

Today I finally found a good party to clear O8S with,yet my stupid incompetent ass squandered this opportunity so badly by constantly panicking on Forsaken 2 and losing my sense of direction once I finish dropping the last aoe from the melee dance

I felt like a scum of the earth and legit wanted to die when that happened,I memorized this fight to a T,I did so many retries to the point the whole fight is itched in my mind to the point where it's even playing in my head as I'm typing this.Yet I was that one anchor that dragged our party down and I absolutely have zero excuse for it.

Yes it is a video game but I absolutely hate wasting other people's time especially those who came in legit trying to help me.

Even if I got over my panic and anxiety,once I finish O9S I'll probably quit high end raiding for a long while,I don't think I'm cut for neither Alphascape savage nor the two Ultimate fights.

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I don't raid, but in this game and others I've felt the same as not wanting to be the one to fail, and I have been the one to fail at times and it can feel horrible, sometimes no matter how prepared you are you'll make a mistake but getting up and trying again is where be build ourselves not in not falling in the first place.

My advice to you would be, if you enjoy raiding, don't give up on it, try to stand back up if you ever feel you've made a mistake, I know you said you don't like wasting peoples time, but the learning experience is part of the journey in raiding and hopefully they understand that.
To me, attempting something and failing isn't a waste if you try again.

I really feel you there. I don't do savage content because I know I will not do well at it. I don't react fast enough, and I tend to zig when I should have zagged, even knowing a fight really well. If I were with people who I play with all the time, I'd feel more comfortable. It's the same reason I don't heal or tank in randoms, I just don't feel like I am good enough at either and hate to waste people's time.

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Originally Posted by MetalSnakeXI1

This is something that I'm particularly really really really bad with

Specifically with savage raids in particular.

Today I finally found a good party to clear O8S with,yet my stupid incompetent ass squandered this opportunity so badly by constantly panicking on Forsaken 2 and losing my sense of direction once I finish dropping the last aoe from the melee dance

I felt like a scum of the earth and legit wanted to die when that happened,I memorized this fight to a T,I did so many retries to the point the whole fight is itched in my mind to the point where it's even playing in my head as I'm typing this.Yet I was that one anchor that dragged our party down and I absolutely have zero excuse for it.

Yes it is a video game but I absolutely hate wasting other people's time especially those who came in legit trying to help me.

Even if I got over my panic and anxiety,once I finish O8S I'll probably quit high end raiding for a long while,I don't think I'm cut for neither Alphascape savage nor the two Ultimate fights.

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If your not having fun, don't do it.

(Don't worry about it.)

If you stress out so much with Savage content, avoid it unless you have a bunch of chill friends. No one should have to get so uncomfortable that they feel like that doing anything. Yeah, you may miss out on getting the best gear available for a certain time period, but you'll keep your sanity. This is a game and it should be something you do for fun, not something you do to add unnecessary stress to your mind.

Having played mostly with what people would consider to be "average groups", I can say that passed a certain point, personal improvements are quite difficult to make. It's a bit a case of "you have it or you don't". Forcing yourself through it has low chances of making you suddenly "get it".

When you said that you had no excuses, that's false, you absolutly do. Everyone has their strenghts and weaknesses. And since you seem to do what's in your power to reduce the impact of your weakness in raids, then it's fine. Someone not trying to improve wouldn't be okay, but that's not your case.

So, with these two points adressed, here are a few pieces of advice if you still want to try going further:
1. Find a party willing to assist you in trying stuff. This is difficult, but if you manage to find the right people, and everyone agrees to make it a training session for you then you don't have to worry about failure anymore, as success is not the objective.
2. Try different settings. If orientation is your weakness, ask to place points/waymarks, try new camera settings, legacy/normal moving method, camera height, etc.
3. Try to find your sweet spot when it comes to content difficulty. Maybe the 4th stage of a tier is simply asking too much from you? Not every fight requires the same skills nor awareness. As other said, try the first one or two fights of a tier, and then take your decision.
4. Learn from your mistakes, but also from other players' ones. This is something I see almost never happening in "average groups". Not only people just go back right in after failing something, and often fail again from a lack of self debriefing, but they also don't learn from other people's mistakes, which sometimes lead to the same mistake being made from different players.
5. Be open with your mates. At this level of play, people do understand that differences in skill level plays a big role and that some may need more time than others. And unless you end up with some nasty players, they should have some patience and may even suggest some alternatives to make it easier for you. So, do communicate on that. And if you can be on a vocal server, it's even better. Voice over tends to make people more kind and accepting.

Finally, once you've tried a bunch of things, don't be afraid to think that you've reach your limits. Again, everyone has limits. Me, for example, I know that while I'm doing mechanics correctly, I will drastically fall being in terms of my execution regarding my rotation (I'm a WAR), thus my DPS, because I lose track of my muscular memory when I raid lead heavily (and my group does need heavy raid leading...). I've tried countless methods to improve on that, but I can't do much more. That's my limit. That's my weakness.

Savage is content dedicated to who wants that extra challenge for improving him/herself.

In this case, o8s may be your trial to overcome your panic.

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Originally Posted by Fyce

When you said that you had no excuses, that's false, you absolutly do. Everyone has their strenghts and weaknesses. And since you seem to do what's in your power to reduce the impact of your weakness in raids, then it's fine. Someone not trying to improve wouldn't be okay, but that's not your case.

So, with these two points adressed, here are a few pieces of advice if you still want to try going further:
1. Find a party willing to assist you in trying stuff. This is difficult, but if you manage to find the right people, and everyone agrees to make it a training session for you then you don't have to worry about failure anymore, as success is not the objective.
2. Try different settings. If orientation is your weakness, ask to place points/waymarks, try new camera settings, legacy/normal moving method, camera height, etc.
3. Try to find your sweet spot when it comes to content difficulty. Maybe the 4th stage of a tier is simply asking too much from you? Not every fight requires the same skills nor awareness. As other said, try the first one or two fights of a tier, and then take your decision.
4. Learn from your mistakes, but also from other players' ones. This is something I see almost never happening in "average groups". Not only people just go back right in after failing something, and often fail again from a lack of self debriefing, but they also don't learn from other people's mistakes, which sometimes lead to the same mistake being made from different players.
5. Be open with your mates. At this level of play, people do understand that differences in skill level plays a big role and that some may need more time than others. And unless you end up with some nasty players, they should have some patience and may even suggest some alternatives to make it easier for you. So, do communicate on that. And if you can be on a vocal server, it's even better. Voice over tends to make people more kind and accepting.

Finally, once you've tried a bunch of things, don't be afraid to think that you've reach your limits. Again, everyone has limits. Me, for example, I know that while I'm doing mechanics correctly, I will drastically fall being in terms of my execution regarding my rotation (I'm a WAR), thus my DPS, because I lose track of my muscular memory when I raid lead heavily (and my group does need heavy raid leading...). I've tried countless methods to improve on that, but I can't do much more. That's my limit. That's my weakness.

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It's a bit hard to find a static group to raid with and most of the time the difference in timezone makes it harder for me to raid with people I know,not to mention that I don't wanna keep them busy or force them into it.And my luck on the party finder has been really bad lately

Im highly grateful for the advices tho so thanks a ton,sorry for the mopping episode I had

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Originally Posted by TheGrimace

(Don't worry about it.)

If you stress out so much with Savage content, avoid it unless you have a bunch of chill friends. No one should have to get so uncomfortable that they feel like that doing anything. Yeah, you may miss out on getting the best gear available for a certain time period, but you'll keep your sanity. This is a game and it should be something you do for fun, not something you do to add unnecessary stress to your mind.

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Originally Posted by Edax

If your not having fun, don't do it.

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The thing is,I did have a lot of fun with raiding before and occasionally I helped a dozen people clear Neo Exdeath

But God Kefka was unlike any raid I've been a part of in FFXIV because one mistake on the forsakens will not just kill you but the entire party with you as well

I only did savage raids for Deltascape and Sigmascape because of how much I love both FF5 and FF6 and while I did have fun learning both........the shock and amount of things to handle all at once in God Kefka caught me by a surprise even after memorizing the fight and making it to enrage.


I'll try to at least clear up my mind and give God Kefka one last shot because for me now it's an obstacle I need to overcome.

I will take a break from high end content raiding for a while after this but I need to push through God Kefka if only for the personal reason of overcoming my anxiety for this particular fight

The best advice I can give is probably not the best to fall on your ears, but if it is that stressful then stay out of savage. You really need to ask yourself if the savage runs are even worth it if you're left feeling the way you are right now. I totally get wanting to get clears on raid bosses that pay homage to previous FF bosses like God Kefka, but I would sooner never participate in the fight at all than walk away from it feeling like I let everyone down.

A raid community that is unforgiving of mistakes and lacks an understanding that it is just a game we're playing is a community I would never want anything to do with. Whether or not our community is this way, the feelings you are experiencing are because you think it is. It's what induces the panic, and saps all the fun right out of the encounter.

Nobody should be getting panic attacks from playing computer games.
This seems to be that its not an issue with the game itself but more a personal issue.
I suggest maybe seeing someone about it before it becomes a problem in real life situations.

I agree with Edax, there's not much point forcing you through something that is effecting you in a negative way. Main point of the game is to have fun and if something is impacting that it's best to find content that suits your style better.

If you still want to keep going though despite the panic attacks, explain it to your static. If they're reasonable they may help you through it with some reassurance which should calm you down and help you improve, the worst thing that could happen is they let you down gently. If they aren't a reasonable static and get nasty to you when you explain it, they're probably not worth hanging around with in the first place so it's not a big loss if that happens, just have to find a team with better people in it.

Don't force yourself to do something that stresses you out. At the end of the day, it's just a game - if it's causing you harm, don't be afraid to simply walk away from it or at least avoid tackling the parts that cause you stress.

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Originally Posted by Metalwrath

Nobody should be getting panic attacks from playing computer games.
This seems to be that its not an issue with the game itself but more a personal issue.
I suggest maybe seeing someone about it before it becomes a problem in real life situations.

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I'll be the first to admit that it is indeed a personal issue

But it's mostly an issue that surfaces for me when expectations from people around me gets higher and higher and it's not just only in 14 but an issue I still have in real life especially now that I'm studying for Masters degree in college

If I try again today I'll make sure to tell this issue to the party and afterwards I'll be taking a definite long break from raiding until I fix myself as much as I can so it wouldn't impact my enjoyment of the game

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Originally Posted by MetalSnakeXI1

It's a bit hard to find a static group to raid with and most of the time the difference in timezone makes it harder for me to raid with people I know,not to mention that I don't wanna keep them busy or force them into it.And my luck on the party finder has been really bad lately

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Yeah, as I said, it's the most difficult thing to do. But it doesn't have to be a static. Sometimes, people join simply because they are bored and are willing to give a hand.
The best bet would probably be to find a Discord server for your Datacenter and ask people there if some of them could help. You can give them a link to this thread too to explain the situation.
Unfortunatly, the official forums are terrible for that. They really should rework the "Worlds" sections.

Its no different than any other fight you've done in this game boss does the same thing at the same time every single time. Everyone has a mechanic in a fight that takes then a while to get right you just gotta keep at it.

I'm not seeing the right words coming out of anyone. Maybe I missed it, but here it is.

There's only one thing you have to know in these sorts of situations. Whatever you're worried about: It's okay. Whatever it is, it's okay. Not performing you're best? It's okay. Stressed about it? That's okay too. Wanna quit? Wanna keep going? That's okay.

There's only one thing that's bringing you down, and that's yourself. Maybe you don't complete it today, or tomorrow, or this week, or maybe you do. Maybe you don't find a static, and maybe you do. Whatever happens happens. These aren't words about a video game, these are words about life. You don't have total control. You never will. No one has total control or ever will. You can listen to tons of advice from people who got it done, and maybe it'll be correct advice, or useful advice, but at the end of it all whether you succeed with it isn't all about you. Even when you're the one making the most mistakes there are a million others out there making just as many, and many that are making more mistakes than that.

If you've given it an honest effort, then there's nothing to worry about. It doesn't even have to be your hardest effort. At the end of the day you might think to yourself "I didn't make any progress", and there's nothing wrong with that, and truthfully you probably did, but that isn't the point.

You can worry about it as much as you like, but the end goal of worrying isn't to stress out, but to move on with what you've learned, whether you move on to what you initially aimed for, or not.

In our entire lives we'll be a burden to others. Whether it's being front of someone in line, taking opportunities that others desire, or even something like losing the opportunity for a group to seek a reward they had been working towards. In much the same way, many others will be a burden to you. It may not feel like it, but it will be. In every society we follow a simple rule of give and take. We give what we can, and take what we want, but if you really think about it what people want isn't really all that much. You don't need to be perfect. What you can't do today, you may very well be able to do tomorrow, or later on, or maybe you'll be able to do something else. Maybe you won't be able to satisfy an individual in front of you, and maybe you can take that experience and turn it into something good.

If you ever find yourself stressing way too much, just take a break. I'm not talking about taking a walk, but just relax for a bit, observe yourself, your own behavior and physical being, what you're worrying about, what you're doing because of it, and consider for yourself the importance of it all. Even if it's tremendously important, you should feel much better for taking a bit of a step back out of your own shell.

Then relax do casual stuff if there something irl make you feel cannot do it then focus on it.
Raids can be done anytime anyway.

I switched to mobile, so I have no idea what server you're on. Are you on Aether, OP?

I'd say just don't overthink it. I haven't done much high end content other than like Suzaku since I came back, but once you get a few practice runs in it's good. Lag is still an issue though...I have found, for me, most anxiety comes from me overthinking what's gonna happen or what I do. If you mess up one thing, like your rotation, or a mechanic, just pick it up and move on. If you aren't frantic with your thoughts you can complete the mechanics and content with relative ease - depending on your group of course, but your own performance shouldn't be an issue, and shouldn't be made into an issue. I wouldn't discourage you from continuing to try though, just because you get anxiety. That's a cop out, keep trying. Once you conquer one thing, it gets easier over time.

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Originally Posted by MetalSnakeXI1

I'll be the first to admit that it is indeed a personal issue

But it's mostly an issue that surfaces for me when expectations from people around me gets higher and higher and it's not just only in 14 but an issue I still have in real life especially now that I'm studying for Masters degree in college

If I try again today I'll make sure to tell this issue to the party and afterwards I'll be taking a definite long break from raiding until I fix myself as much as I can so it wouldn't impact my enjoyment of the game

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Yeah see... you're studying for a Master's, dude. Having anxiety about how you're performing in a raid scenario should be the least of your worries. You'd need to be like my RL buddy, who does savage raids so casually. He cares about his performance too, don't get me wrong. But his performance is not hindered by panic brought about through anxiety. You know you're better than that, and for me personally, I wouldn't be able to take much from clear when I know I could've performed much better than I did.

I fully relate to your issue because it is the reason why I don't do savage raids as well. Well, part of it. I've been humbled by them, dealt with those who egos inflate with every raid clear, and challenged the meta to see reason above math logic. It really is just too exhausting for me, and it is a shame because I would also like to do God Kefka while he is still somewhat relevant. But like I said, I have to weight the value of this clear with the stress of getting it and accept the fact that I chose not to get the clear due to a personal issue.

At any rate, I do hope for the best in your current and future endeavors.

Thanks to everyone for all the advices

Sorry again for the sob episode I had.

For now I'll try to take things easy and slow

If I get the clear at some point I'd wanna do it while I'm in a better state of mind

It might not be now or tomorrow or the week after.....but I'll take a breather and rethink the whole thing through

Thank you again guys,and sorry again

You shouldn't apologize for a "sob episode'. Those are your real feelings. If it's making you anxious and panicky, just step back from it for a while. And why worry about disappointing others in a game? You aren't a robot. And I can promise they aren't perfect either. There's something in this game they mess up, too. We all do. If you feel that those you run with really are that judgmental, don't run with them. Find some players who are more laid back and can roll with a mistake instead of getting up in arms about it.

You need to learn the script. Memorize it until you can recite it word by word!

Aww I had this issue when facing challenges myself IRL, when having to go on stage or in front of the camera I would have panic attacks before hand. What helped me was therapy with a specialist and medication.

I suggest seeing a doctor, they are very helpful for this sort of thing :) I am so sorry you had to go through this and hope you can find relief! No one should have to feel this way *hug*

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Originally Posted by MetalSnakeXI1

Thanks to everyone for all the advices

Sorry again for the sob episode I had.

For now I'll try to take things easy and slow

If I get the clear at some point I'd wanna do it while I'm in a better state of mind

It might not be now or tomorrow or the week after.....but I'll take a breather and rethink the whole thing through

Thank you again guys,and sorry again

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Don't consider it a Sob episode, You are dealing with something and asked for advice! Nothing to be ashamed of!! I've all but had to stop really pushing to do end game and savage content, I struggle with stress and anxiety issues in my daily life and it does reflect in game when I'm being pushed. I don't have issues so much with pugs because I don't really care as much as when I'm with a consistent group that I actually care about.
It used to get so bad when I was raiding that I used to hyperventilate and get heart palpitations during particularly hard parts or near the end of fights.
This was years ago now, and I have it under control now with breathing techniques and medication. I'm like night and day looking back. I would like to raid again at SOME POINT, but I don't want to cause myself undue anxiety.. which sucks because I do keep my gear up and I do like to push myself and help others.
tldr; Gaming is stressful, just take care of yourself! You're not alone in bugging tf out during fights xD <3

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Originally Posted by MetalSnakeXI1

This is something that I'm particularly really really really bad with

Specifically with savage raids in particular.

Today I finally found a good party to clear O8S with,yet my stupid incompetent ass squandered this opportunity so badly by constantly panicking on Forsaken 2 and losing my sense of direction once I finish dropping the last aoe from the melee dance

I felt like a scum of the earth and legit wanted to die when that happened,I memorized this fight to a T,I did so many retries to the point the whole fight is itched in my mind to the point where it's even playing in my head as I'm typing this.Yet I was that one anchor that dragged our party down and I absolutely have zero excuse for it.

Yes it is a video game but I absolutely hate wasting other people's time especially those who came in legit trying to help me.

Even if I got over my panic and anxiety,once I finish O8S I'll probably quit high end raiding for a long while,I don't think I'm cut for neither Alphascape savage nor the two Ultimate fights.

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What you're dealing with is something I think a lot of new Raiders deal with. Even experienced raiders can get turned around with regards to mechanics - I know it happens to me frequently when I'm learning a new fight. There's a reason I like having waymarks to at least mark where North is

What you need to learn, though, is that everyone makes mistakes. Whether it's fudging a mechanic or losing their sense of direction, it happens to everyone. Even high-end players. I ran Suzaku a week ago with some of the world-first caliber raiders, and even they made a couple mistakes (late shirks, accidentally messing up Simon Says, I think one even walked off the edge). And they just laughed it off. And, while making mistakes can be embarrassing, they happen. Doesn't mean that you're incompetent.

If you think taking a break would do you well, then by all means do so. But getting disoriented isn't a reason to quit; it happens to more people than just you.

I do think you have quite a bit more growth to do before you can tackle Ultimate, but you can more than easily tackle Alphascape after God Kefka. Chaos is actually a really good entry fight, in my opinion. I thought I'd find it boring but I didn't.