FFXIV Girls only discord server

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Originally Posted by Artemiz

Well at least this thread has brought everyone together like one big happy family.

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There's nothing that unites the normally angry mob quite like controversy and drama. :p

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Originally Posted by Artemiz

Well at least this thread has brought everyone together like one big happy family.

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Indeed. One big family.

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Originally Posted by Theodric

As an aside, a not insignificant amount of people simply want to be left alone to do their own thing. I don't think everybody necessarily needs to be invited to join absolutely everything in existence - because such an approach prevents quite a lot of people from getting support that is custom tailored to what they desire.

If a group of women on the internet want to hide away in their own little Discord server then I think that's perfectly acceptable. I see advertisements for women only groups quite often - for coffee mornings and the like.

I know women who have been horribly abused and as part of their recovery, they needed to retreat into their own little support bubbles until they built up the confidence to interact with the wider world once more.

It's an approach that isn't going to work for everybody, though it works for some people and the last thing survivors of abuse need is to be burdened with problems that simply do not concern them.

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Ugh I wish I had 100 likes for this...joke's on me for clicking this thread, I came here to see if the maintenance was done yet and good lawd

As a girl who didn't get into gaming until the pandemic turned everyone into a shut in, I've gotten the full ride in the last year, from d*** pics to literal stalkers. I literally thought alot of it was just a meme or overblown until it was actually happening to me.

Its pretty much impossible to explain what its like, why bubbles are okay, and why having clear and simple boundaries isn't a sideways invitation for people to test and push at them. It doesn't always have to be something dramatic like abuse recovery either that leads to these groups. Sometimes its just about being comfy around people who get it.

So I think alot of us just choose silence in online spaces because it makes life so much easier. This thread pretty much shows why lol.. I'm lucky since I'm in some rl girl only groups like the coffee meet ups you mentioned above, and a fun cuddle puddle/movie group. Its obviously alot easier to regulate in person or over Zoom.

I guess I don't really have a point, I just saw your post while reading the last 18 pages with my jaw dropped open, and wanted to say ty for being sane.

But that's as far as I can go on this thread, I have to get back to my secret girl group to do more secret girl stuffs

Hmm, judging my the page number quite a few messages were purged.
Good thing I archived the thread yesterday.
Truly a marvel this thread

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Originally Posted by Endariel

Hmm, judging my the page number quite a few messages were purged.
Good thing I archived the thread yesterday.
Truly a marvel this thread

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I find it hilarious that my posts about soup and hinting were removed. But my more blunt posts when told to say what was hinted were kept. That makes total sense, not.

It's their private discord and they can do whatever they want there - if people want to join and accept the requirements - fine.
Nearly 40 pages in this forum surely make nice advertisment.
I just wonder - if I'm a girl looking for a girls only community - no matter for which reasons - why should I choose one that let males support me?
The longer I think about it the more it creeps me out.

jc this is a massive train wreck of a thread.

don't even try to argue with doozer, just follow the quotes in his signature
it's a sad little man who has nothing better to do than take part in controversial discussions, say dumb things and cry wolf when someone disagrees and who runs from any discussion where people call his hypocrisy out because he has no actual retorts that aren't buzzwords
at least the titanmen group can be entertaining, but considering that this guy has been apparently doing it for just as long without being funny? it's sad, tbh

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Originally Posted by Doozer

If you don't mind, I'd rather keep this conversation just between me and them. There's no need for you to intervene on their behalf. If they want to come back and counter what I said, they're welcome to.

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You got ratio'd. Lol

Lmao one of my comments on this forum got removed.

People throwing insults at each other left and right and there’s blatant transphobia but what I said was apparently beyond disgraceful.

There’s worse things going on than my troll comment. Like the lack of Viera hair and hats - get your priorities sorted out SE. We need more hair.

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Originally Posted by SherlottaEryut

Lmao one of my comments on this forum got removed.

People throwing insults at each other left and right and there’s blatant transphobia but what I said was apparently beyond disgraceful.

There’s worse things going on than my troll comment. Like the lack of Viera hair and hats - get your priorities sorted out SE. We need more hair.

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Because certainly people who are assined to moderate this forum are the same people who make viera hair and hats. You're so smart!

I'm late to this party, but can I join? I'm a G.I.R.L. as well!

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Originally Posted by Theox

You’re so smart

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Thank you. I hear that a lot. It’s nice to see a fellow Viera standing up for what’s right for the game.

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Originally Posted by SherlottaEryut

Lmao one of my comments on this forum got removed.

People throwing insults at each other left and right and there’s blatant transphobia but what I said was apparently beyond disgraceful.

There’s worse things going on than my troll comment. Like the lack of Viera hair and hats - get your priorities sorted out SE. We need more hair.

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To be fair, if you quote something that is later removed, usually that causes your post to also be removed. Mods just delete the parent comment and each one that chains off of it in one fell swoop.

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Originally Posted by Anatha

I have never heard of sex referred to as a spectrum. It's not binary, sure, but it's definitely not a spectrum. It's a biological assignment based on chromosomal markers.
Gender is the one that's a spectrum, since it's entirely couched in personal identity/how one relates themselves to the culture they inhabit.
Matters get real messy when people start conflating and confusing one as the other. So don't.

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Nono, we are definitely talking about sex also being seen as a spectrum, just like gender. Whatever genetic markers you go look for in humans, even if your technique would have a 100% accuracy, would still only give you a probability, however good, that that person would have been born with a particular set of genitals, which is where the concept of 3G-sex comes from (genetic-gonadal-genitals). Now, at first glance this seems to be internally consistent for 99% of all humans, so yay, pretty binary and totally not a spectrum.

That is, of course, assuming that having been born with a particular set genitals and all the other bits, bops and G's is the defining feature (and keeping our scientific fields of inquiry laser-focused on genetics and biology) and looking away from the variance within the categories we just created. But the concept of intersex alone, which is pretty narrow in itself, basically an internally inconsistent 3G-sex, is still complex enough to generate definitions which can give a delta of a factor of 100 in prevalence % depending on which ones you run with. And intersex is just one of the many results of our sex determination slipping up. There are many other ways as well without breaking 3G-sex consistency at all which can blur the lines. For example, to address transgenders, no doubt the elephant in the room, one promising avenue of research into the biological causes of dysphoria is estrogen's critical sprinkling of the brain right before or after birth, resulting in the 'masculinization' of the brain, and if this goes wrong you end up with the wrong combination of brain and phenotype. So, yeah, plenty of reasons to doubt a pure and simple dimorphic system is a helpful construct beyond basic and general applications.

Anyway, just saying that even in biology and neighboring fields matters aren't really that clear-cut.

This whole thread is a joke! I see no issues with wanting a girl to confirm she is a girl there is tons of LBGTLMGRP discord servers out there. I as a man shouldn't be able to just say I'm a woman with a deep as F voice let them have their "girls only discord" doesn't effect me at all.

1. The discord and those who support it are sexist, and so it should not be embraced by the community.
2. "Safe spaces" are just another way of dismissing different opinions, regardless of merit, and that is toxic.


I hope very few people support this discord. It is bad for the XIV community.

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Originally Posted by HyoMinPark

To be fair, if you quote something that is later removed, usually that causes your post to also be removed. Mods just delete the parent comment and each one that chains off of it in one fell swoop.

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It wasnt a quoted comment actually. It was just a 'reply'.

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Originally Posted by Merrigan

Having been in one of these "women only" groups once: the problem is not wanting to meet in small groups.

The problem is that your every action becomes monitored. Judged. The general atmosphere is more like a cult than anything else. You have to constantly control the way you express yourself, and that inevitably ends up affecting the way you perceive the world.

An indoctrination, no more and no less, which is exercised as soon as a group closes itself to diversity. And in the end, the discrimination becomes even more present.

To give an example: asking for a voice is something that has always made me react on MMORPGs. I don't find it a particularly sexist environment, actually. But one of the things that is still recurrent for a lot of players is asking for a voice to check if you have boobs. I don't think that's fair - think of me as a 200 pound bearded guy if you want, but don't kick me out of the group because I wouldn't talk to you.

So why on earth should these habits, which are perceived by many women as undesirable leftovers IG, be in so-called "inclusive" groups?

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I find that most online "safe spaces" for a singular demographic usually end up toxic as hell to anybody who does not join the hive mind, or anybody who is just different from them in anyway. It becomes less about community and more about control. People use the word "inclusive" all the time, but i don't think they know what it means.

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Originally Posted by Averax

I find that most online "safe spaces" for a singular demographic usually end up toxic as hell to anybody who does not join the hive mind, or anybody who is just different from them in anyway. It becomes less about community and more about control. People use the word "inclusive" all the time, but i don't think they know what it means.

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On the other hand, any community that doesn't close itself off to at least some extent ends up being at risk of being hijacked by troublemakers who seek to threaten and coerce others into conforming to their world view instead of opting to simply agree to disagree.

Quite a lot of people forget that this is a game with a global audience and that not everybody is interested in being dragged into a state of existence where anything and everything is a potential 'issue' to be addressed.

It's a balancing act, I suppose - but having seen many FFXIV focused Discord servers cave in to increasingly bizarre demands I can at least appreciate those who are upfront about their intentions.

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Originally Posted by Theodric

On the other hand, any community that doesn't close itself off to at least some extent ends up being at risk of being hijacked by troublemakers who seek to threaten and coerce others into conforming to their world view instead of opting to simply agree to disagree.

Quite a lot of people forget that this is a game with a global audience and that not everybody is interested in being dragged into a state of existence where anything and everything is a potential 'issue' to be addressed.

It's a balancing act, I suppose - but having seen many FFXIV focused Discord servers cave in to increasingly bizarre demands I can at least appreciate those who are upfront about their intentions.

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Doomsdayer

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Originally Posted by Kolaina

Doomsdayer

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On the contrary. I think that walking away and not giving the time of day to the perpetually offended is the opposite of being a 'doomsdayer'. Perhaps such a term is better attributed to those losing their cool over the idea of missing out on the possibility of joining a private Discord server that they were very likely weren't aware of before reading this thread and probably never intended to join it in the first place.

If these bullies ever want to mess with someone's safe space again, they can come talk to me, instead - I'll set them straight, I certainly DO NOT tolerate bullying & that's all this is :mad:

I'm so sorry to the person that had to deal with this kind of disgusting behavior.

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Originally Posted by Theodric

I think that walking away.

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https://tenor.com/62WF.gif

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Originally Posted by KohanaAbarai

Instead of anyone even trying to educate us, what happened was they got pissed off, left and made a whole new story up to shame us for no reason.

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You got proof? :D

Hey guys. *Brings in popcorn*
I got another batch in the maker and
pizza is on its way. *Sits down and sips tea*
Let's see what I missed today in this shit storm.

You can tell it's destined to be a disaster simply because they feel the need to "confirm" gender. And then there's this stuff about apparently people in charge "dating" discord members? Honestly that just makes it sound predatory like the people in charge of the discord think they're making a harem.

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Originally Posted by KohanaAbarai

5. There is no "verification" system that you all are referring too, we are not checking "voices". We are confirming that the user can handle more sensitive topics and that they are in fact capable of handling certain words and phrases. This process is called "orientation" please correct your notes.

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This is complete bull - a good friend of mine confirmed your wild "verification process" with me today. Just be honest, lmao. You're just trying to save your own asses at this point & it's really dishonorable.

I'm in talks of making a miqo minx only discord. Where all miqo's light and dark, big and tall can join.. but only miqos. Only rule is kitty hats on kitty hat day :O join today.

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Originally Posted by Gameovers

I'm in talks of making a miqo minx only discord. Where all miqo's light and dark, big and tall can join.. but only miqos. Only rule is kitty hats on kitty hat day :O join today.

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I’m pretty sure this already exists and nobody cares about it.

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Originally Posted by Eli85

1. The discord and those who support it are sexist, and so it should not be embraced by the community.
2. "Safe spaces" are just another way of dismissing different opinions, regardless of merit, and that is toxic.


I hope very few people support this discord. It is bad for the XIV community.

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Echochambers are not an inherently a bad thing, I personally feel if they were more transparent and forthright with their reasoning from the start this would not be such an issue. Many would still not agree but the transparency would leave very little room for someone to get the wrong idea.

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Originally Posted by Gameovers

I'm in talks of making a miqo minx only discord. Where all miqo's light and dark, big and tall can join.. but only miqos. Only rule is kitty hats on kitty hat day :O join today.

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Damn now i need to race change back

I think a discord for biological females is a completely fine idea, but it seems like it would be difficult to actually manage without the risk of overstepping into someone's privacy. I'm not talking about OP's discord since there's apparently a lot of issues going on with it. I'm just speaking generally.

It's like saying Gary Ridgeway represents all cis men. It's nonsense.

Edit: Thread was purged, post has no context.

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Originally Posted by RoroCookies

I’m pretty sure this already exists and nobody cares about it.

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-flies way over your head. - :c It was a joke.

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Originally Posted by Exosapien

It's like saying Gary Ridgeway represents all cis men. It's nonsense.

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There you go again

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Originally Posted by Kolaina

There you go again

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Oh look, you're back to try and make me feel bad for talking about something that's already being discussed.

Anyway.

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Originally Posted by Exosapien

Oh look, you're back.

Anyway.

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And you proved me write despite arguing I was not. I’ll double down on what I said. Always needing to insert your agenda. Your entire being if existence surrounds this stuff. =]

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Originally Posted by Kolaina

And you proved me write despite arguing I was not. I’ll double down on what I said. Always needing to insert your agenda. Your entire being if existence surrounds this stuff. =]

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Right*
Auto corrected to wrong word and can’t edit on phonr

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Originally Posted by Kolaina

And you proved me write despite arguing I was not. I’ll double down on what I said. Always needing to insert your agenda. Your entire being if existence surrounds this stuff. =]

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Why are you obsessed with me? For someone who doesn't want to talk to LGBT people, you sure like to harass me.

Literally how am I "inserting my agenda" by responding to someone and agreeing with them about a topic they're already talking about?

You're so obsessed with trying to prove some weird "gotcha" point that talking about this stuff is "my entire existence." As if LGBT topics shouldn't be important to LGBT people. And why me specifically? There's plenty of people talking about this stuff.

Get over yourself.