Its the behavior they see, unfortunately. And alot of people defend it, so people respond like they have to be like the jerk on twitch, or constantly defend themselves from the slightest hint of criticism.
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The funny part is that I was once in a "debate" with Kisai where they were trying to promote the idea that regen was situational and a bad skill to use constantly because it generates too much enmity. I've been ignoring all of their posts and not taking anything they say about high-level play since that debate.
I love xenos
There are TONS of completely shitty toxic statics that will never clear a savage fight, as well as tons of super care bear statics that will clear the entirety of savage. People are different, and the point of a static is to build it with like-minded people. If you join a hardcore static and then refuse to meld BiS VI's into your gear, you're GOING to be kicked, and you have no right to be mad about it.
This game doesn't have a "raiding community". It has statics that are completely independent from one another. No person represents the raiding community because raiding is wildly different from static to static. They had Xeno on the podcast because he is a prominent youtube/twitch raider who has a large following in comparison to other FF raiders. Obviously people like how he does things, or he wouldn't be nearly as popular as he is. There are also tons of people who will never watch a video of his cause they think he's too harsh. Who cares? If you want a carebear static, go to the recruitment forums and look for a laid back midcore group. If you want to be the next xeno, start your own static and call everyone dumbasses.
I'm sure they appreciate the free advertising lol
There are certainly situations where if you want to make progress you have to speak up about what needs to be improved. I personally am overly critical of myself, if I screw something up everyone will know by the obscenities coming across their speakers lol. But a lot of times people simply don't realize they are messing up or that they could be doing such and such better, or they simply play it off hoping no one will notice. So you're only hurting yourself, and the group, if those kind of things aren't discussed. It doesn't have to be hateful or callous, and most of the time it's not. I would say, however, the closer you are as friends outside of raid, the higher your tolerance for trash talk will be.