Post your tanking derps and herps here!

Hello, really miss a aoe skill for paladin like the one warrior/mrd have. Had made life so much easyer for a paladin and more fun to tank multiple targets.
Or just change the MRD skill Overpower so it can be used for paladins

Lesson for me is to not try to tank so early in the morning.

I went into CT at the start if this week. 6am PST. I've run CT many times and have tanked all the bosses before so I fairly confident on the raid.

We reach atomos and the other tank asks if I want to take adds or play damage dealer. I said I could take adds…. but for some reason I read it as "Hey go ahead and take off defiance and hit Atomos!"

So that's what I did.

I had no clue why the adds where killing all our mages until it was too late. Part died, then alliance.

I apologized for the error and we tried round 2. Me taking adds again. This time I went in without defiance on, adds were not dying quick enough, one mage dead from vampire girl AOE… so I hop on the pad because we are a man down and try to tank it all there.

That wiped all on the circle, then wiped the alliance.

Really bad tanking day for me. I switched to a crafting job and vowed not to kill anyone else that day.

No more early morning tanking for me

Just started to tank as a 2nd job after my main BLM.

I died in cutter's at the princess because I tried to hold agro for everything while hoping our WHM could keep me up while everyone just aoes the adds. We end up killing the princess but I was dead and so did the healer. I ended up running up to Chimera without shield oath because I forgot it toggles off after death.

I shield lobbed and provoked a toad in AV when I mean to 'voke something off my friend... into a wipe. Then I let a drg rush me and the group in an AV grind when I figured that my friend couldn't heal me through it and that we wanted to do whole room but I needed to pull carefully. We wiped several times. Instead of a no wipe grind that happened before the drg came along but only took 2-3 min longer.

Flashing and aggroing mobs off of everyone when I don't have a healer..

Trying to tank those stupid jellyfish things from the Cancer fate in Costa del Sol. >_<

Last night, was 2nd tank on Ifrit Ex DF. Run was going smoothly, had a few wipes here and there. Timer is down to about 20 minutes, suddenly I go into not paying attention mood and when I'm tanking I just use SE/SP as I would when I'm not tanking. Tank pulls off me, realize what I've been doing, provoke back. We wipe. Last pull before the DF ends, everything going somewhat smoothly. Get to big nail phase, provoke off other tank. He's bringing nails on his side down, he provokes a nail. I'm sitting there with 3 stacks, pop cds that are up. Take about 3 extra incinerate when I'm at 5 stacks already, healers are being pro's. About 2 minutes left, nails are done, in last phase, pop Berserk and Unchained, pulled off other tank from too much enmity. Die from incinerate, Ifrit dead.
To the 2 healers in that run, you carried us tanks on the last pull.

Tanking Titan HM.. I was tanking right at the very edge. I accidentally tapped my analog stick back slightly, which caused me to fall to my death. So embarrassing. I apologized, but people rage quit.

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Originally Posted by JibOK

Last night we get to the boss at Copperbell Mines and my cat jumps on my lap/keyboard and turns the entire HUD off. I had no idea how to turn it back on at the time. Luckily we made it through the fight alive. Scroll Lock turns the HUD off/on.

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My cat has been named Ser-wipes us-alot (his full name is Ser-pounce-Alot) due to doing this often. This also includes jumping on the ps3 and turning it off during runs aswell.

{Provoke} Dark Matter Bulb

Running to pull dragons in t5 as a solotank without shied oath and then just watch them fly past and proceed to massacare the party xD

Stepping out of aoe then back in too early and still getting hit by it.

Not noticing the loose mob since you are short and camera isnt zoomed out all the way.

Getting hit by a twister because you are too focused on stunning the knight.

Getting knocked back to my doom even though tempered will was available, since I forget it exists.

Using tank lb when I was learning the role and thinking I did damage while rest of party asked why, especially melee xD

I am still learning to check if I have my big toe in the electric puddle in Turn 10 before it ticks for 11k damage.

It looks too similar to Shadowflare. ; ;

I never realized that there was an enmity bar I could use to track my teammates hate. I just now figured this out at level 50.

*ATOMIC FACEPALM!

I'm famous for forging bravely ahead after a boss fight.... in the direction we just came from. I always tell my party I meant to do it, I was just keeping them on their toes.


However my best Herp/Derp was when I tried to do a trial on my laptop for the first time and I realized hotbar settings aren't saved on SE's servers, but locally.

This is how I ended up charging Hydra and wondering why I wasn't generating any hate. Then realized I had nothing but Mining skills on my bar :x

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Originally Posted by Bashum

This is how I ended up charging Hydra and wondering why I wasn't generating any hate. Then realized I had nothing but Mining skills on my bar :x

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Would have worked if it'd been Titan.

Single tanking T9. Initial pull ran right into the wall. Not the greatest confidence booster haha.

So in Shiva EX you have to turn her around and share the damage of the sword conal AOE thing, right?

Do not do that in Shiva HM.

I'm not sure if this qualifies as a derp due to lack of hours yet put into tanking dungeons, but my herp comes from little tanking experience.

So, I'm slowly getting experience tanking via Gladiator (I'm a complete nubtank x.x) on a new character (so starting fresh and no pre-won gears) in dungeons.
I'm used to WHMing as main with a side of MNK... so I'm following what I observe of what seem to be good tank practice (along with what I've read, etc).


ANYWAY - Did up to Tam Tara - so far so good (I think), so I tell myself, "pfffft I'll do a low level hest to warm up a little - shouldn't be too bad at all."
Went into one of the low level hests ("Under the Armor" - the giant armor sorta boss in a cave with the spawning skeleton ADDs). I had no shield lob with the level sync. I thought to myself, "well crap - I remember the ADDs always run straight to me when I Roulette heal this one. I'll just try to flash while they're running passed."
Got the first group that runs out. Cool, that worked. Second group.... one or two got passed, but I got them back with a little movement (I was trying not to spin/move the the main boss thing for the DPSes x.x) and the edge of the flash area with a little tug of war.

Third group spawned...... hell broke loose. I was out of MP, from flashing (because things were getting torn off me almost immediately after a first flash on those other ADDs + keeping boss hate... so I spammed). They ran directly for the conjurer - who ran away.... I'm thinking, "Nooooo run to me so I can throw lightbulbs in their faces!" (as this is what I do as healer).... the conjurer is getting heavy damage and I'm flashing on mp fumes - but the ADDs instantly turned away and back to the healer, the very second they heal themselves....
I'm thinking to myself, "Not supposed to move the boss and junk too much, right? wrong? ...I dunno! But don't be bad! ....I believe I'm about to be bad.' ....and then proceeded to chase after the skeletons ....who are chasing the conjurer, with the boss chasing me, and the DPS chasing the boss... all while trying to get savage blade to get enmity back and trying to hit flash as soon as the MP came. Here comes the derp train! Conductor newbtank at the wheel!

Derp #1 - I spammed too hard and had no MP for when shit hit the fan
Derp #2 - Tried to hotkey spam Riot Blade for MP (to no avail) for several seconds and wasting time/enmity building before realizing I didn't even have it (I sync'ed under it's availability)
Derp #3 - I panicked D: (I should have instructed them to bring it all to me, instead of my creating a derp train)

The conjurer died. ._. *Ashamed of self*
My first death and it was a healer T^T
I would kill for my shield lob in that instance....

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Originally Posted by Ehayte

The other day I was using my WAR to tank some stupid treasure maps for a few people in my FC. After confidently chattering in vent that I could easily hold enmity over our i88 BLM as a i79 WAR, the first set of mobs spawn and turn out to be the set of 8 ghosts. Confidently, I swagger over to the set of mobs, not realizing that I had my second hot-bar queued up instead of my first, the intended chain of attacks was to be:

Overpower > Infuriate > Steel Cyclone > Berserk > Overpower > Vengeance > Overpower > Bloodbath

Instead, I stumble up to the mobs and do the following, while simultaneous saying "Watch this!" In vent:

Brutal Swing > Holmgang > Sprint > Nothing > Nothing > Foresight

... FAIL

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Easily my favorite derp story xD (Don't worry, I'll find myself doing the same thing, soon...)

OT on Levi EX as a warrior for the first time in a long time after always MT it, grab all the bubbles and run back to head.......poof and the other warrior MT gets killed, darn muscle memory xD

T8, I go to tank and someone tells me I have odin's weapon equipped. I was thinking like lol its glamour. Then holding aggro becomes really hard even though I have shield oath on. We wipe, restart, and I still have trouble with aggro. Then they tell me again and I check, and yah it was just odin's weapon and not glamoured buratang. So I switch and aggro becomes way easier ^^'

T6, my friend tells me to go with raffy to the wall. So I do, to a spot that was clear at the time. Then bulbs continue growing and I am now surrounded on all sides by vines and we die xD then he specified that it had to be a 'clear' wall.

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Originally Posted by Yuki_Tokita

I never realized that there was an enmity bar I could use to track my teammates hate. I just now figured this out at level 50.

*ATOMIC FACEPALM!

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One of my FC tank brothers thought that was everyones TP bar....

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I had my second hot-bar queued up instead of my first,

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Happened to me! Pulled with sprint xD Doesn' t work well ah ha!

In this game I would say pulling with Sprint...in my mmo history, my Derps of Derps was mapping mijin gakure in ffxi as a low level ninja to a key, never erasing.eventually forgetting about it... then while tanking jorm hitting it during its final percentages (prior to our first na server kill) they branded me with this sig after wardshttp://i88.photobucket.com/albums/k1...oe/mexico1.png

My friend pulled me into T5 as OT for my first time and after a few wipes since I was new, I think I got the hand of it....I pull the adds like I'm supposed to then back up into the fire wall and die instantly...So yet another wipe. Woops o-o;

hammering the heal button wondering why people are dropping and then you noticed you were calling your chocobo the whole time

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Originally Posted by Invision

hammering the heal button wondering why people are dropping and then you noticed you were calling your chocobo the whole time

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Funny but wrong thread xD

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Originally Posted by Zentsa

Funny but wrong thread xD

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Maybe she was a PLD trying to heal? which is another kind of derp :v
But just as confusing and by no means less funny v:

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Originally Posted by Rbstr

So in Shiva EX you have to turn her around and share the damage of the sword conal AOE thing, right?

Do not do that in Shiva HM.

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I too have made this mistake...

Had t6 on farm as a DRG for months before I tried tanking it for the first time. Forgetting which role I was in, I neglected to provoke raflesia off of the other tank and run back to the other side while spit was casting, she turned around and cleaved the whole party before I realized.

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Originally Posted by jehuty08

Had t6 on farm as a DRG for months before I tried tanking it for the first time. Forgetting which role I was in, I neglected to provoke raflesia off of the other tank and run back to the other side while spit was casting, she turned around and cleaved the whole party before I realized.

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The real issue here is having anyone but the devour target do any movement. These tank run-through and party run-through methods are nuts.

Had a couple this weekend - taunted Avatar instead of the Dreadnaught (always fun!) and managed to kill myself in T10 by Covering the Critical Rip with no cooldowns on. In my defense, I'd been leveling NIN for hours beforehand and Cover shares a hotkey with Goad. Okay, not much of a defense really, I just had a pretty derp day all around :P

I think I hit a Renaud with Circle of Scorn as well but that's not even really A Thing any more since they just stand there and tickle you.

Literally every time I forget to turn on Defiance. This morning I was wondering how the hell an Arcanist (with level appropriate gear) was so high on the aggro list (higher than the ninja usually) and competing with me for aggro so well.

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Literally every time I forget to turn on Defiance.

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The contrary isn' t that good too sometimes!
One of my favorite auto-derp, keep Def' up while startin T9 as offtank, poppin zerk aswell, crit'in BB, grabbin hate at the very start of Beak's cast => Game Over Luc ah ha!

I may of Derped hard,
I decided to actually get back to leveling my marauder when someone in my FC asked if anyone wanted to level new classes
Cause I did story on Drg I already had a level 15 Marauder, I how ever did not do the class quests. We both had lvl 15 so we decided to Queue for Satasha (other person was Arc)
I did not have tomahawk (and Gla was lvl 1) so I was literally running up to every monster to use overpower
The healer decided to use fluid when ever it was on cool down, and they never healed. I'm thankful my FC mate came as an Arc and the other dps was patient... Was the most derpiest yet funnest Satasha's I've done as it was so intense and funny and we didn't wipe, even when the healer wasn't healing and just trying to dps in normal stance

In T7: Me: "voke add please"
MT: "I don't have provoke. That's a GLD skill"

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Originally Posted by Azukii

In T7: Me: "voke add please"
MT: "I don't have provoke. That's a GLD skill"

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*Facepalm*

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Originally Posted by Azukii

In T7: Me: "voke add please"
MT: "I don't have provoke. That's a GLD skill"

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I ran an Ultima HM in DF where my WAR cotank only took GLA to 15. Just before 3 stacks I stopped attacking, hoping that would be enough time for him to take aggro the hamfisted way. No dice; I reached 5 and exploded. :(

Back when Coil turn 1-4 were still new and fresh we were doing Turn 1 with me on my WAR, my first raid in FFXIV, I was excited and having fun and laughs with the guild we make it all the way to the end and kill Caudicus(snake boss) i think thats how you spell his name? I get into position and grab the freshly split snake and tank him, we all die but still managed to kill the boss and at that moment i realized...I didn't have defiance on the entire fight. From that point on my battlecry was "I got this NO DEFIANCE!"

Thought I'd finally get around to levelling up my WAR to match my PLD main.

Protip, guys, never roll through Halatali in L15 gear. Even gear+. I think I died to every trash pull.

It wasn't just me, the healer was trying to insist on DPS'ing, but, yeah. n.n

I grabbed too much in Halatali NM as a low level glad (half by accident, half by over-zealous protectiveness ala shield lob on anything close enough to be a possible danger/lob range)... HP suddenly plummeted like a rock in a complete instant (killed myself way too fast for any chance of a cure to be casted in time). Respawned, ran back in attempt to grab the mob back before the conjurer died (too late OTL) - ended up kiting the mob in circles like a derp-bard long enough till they returned...

But I do believe that would be my very first big-pull party wipe. Even if unintentionally a big pull. lol D: Sorry guys OTL
/em slaps dullahan-looking-things

This one time where I decided to go full dps and turn on sword oath, we wiped due to other causes, but next run I forget to change back to shield oath..and I lost aggro and we wiped again in an instant..

I'm sorry to my group at the time QQ

Copperbell NM... got to the bombing of the slimes - hit the slimes with explosions about twice - shield lobbed the bomb (as it spawned a little distance from where I had run back to the slimes after last explosion) to flash like I'd been doing (didn't have provoke yet and I was lazy to move mobs around :| *Bad*).... looked to my hotbar to pop Rampart and didn't notice I was still auto attacking the bomb without switching back to the slimes.... and killed it. *Facepalm*
I'm not a newbie to copperbell, I promise! |||OTL

Small derp, but still a derp