"Everyone's so open and friendly" is a lie

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Originally Posted by Izscha

Shhhh you must put up with everyone's bs all the time, they can run down die 10 times never do any mecanics right / waste your time talking for nonsense all the time you have no right to ever call this out or cuss at anyone.
You got better dps than both ur DPS as a tank ? Have fun dude they're enjoying the game and make your experience as great as possible and you can't say anything about it.

Sarcasm aside, if you start to listen to ppl here everyone is depressed antisocial stressed and triggered by everything you can say and that's normal to put up with terrible ppl both skillwise or attitude because you must be friendly at all cost no matter how bad and lazy they are, so yay best community ever yay.

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Scarily accurate lol. The worst part to me is when you have people unironically defending just…absolutely lazy behavior which is what i like to call toxic casualism and enabling. THAT imo is where most of the toxicity lies in this community and it knows no bounds. A lot of the people in this thread are the ones who support that too so i’m not surprised to see them here xD

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Originally Posted by Izscha

Shhhh you must put up with everyone's bs all the time, they can run down die 10 times never do any mecanics right / waste your time talking for nonsense all the time you have no right to ever call this out or cuss at anyone.
You got better dps than both ur DPS as a tank ? Have fun dude they're enjoying the game and make your experience as great as possible and you can't say anything about it.

Sarcasm aside, if you start to listen to ppl here everyone is depressed antisocial stressed and triggered by everything you can say and that's normal to put up with terrible ppl both skillwise or attitude because you must be friendly at all cost no matter how bad and lazy they are, so yay best community ever yay.

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Most people AREN'T bad at the game though, and those who do struggle rarely do content that requires high-level playing anyways. So most of the people that get called out are either not doing anything worth being tormented over or those who do are probably still learning and too nervous to ask for help. Then you have your trolls, but they're surprisingly rare in group content in this game and are usually pretty obvious.

So yes, you MUST put up with players that die repeatedly or fail to do mechanics, because they are a minority and you are an adult (probably) and this game supports players at all levels and ages.

Or you can leave the group and find a new one without being verbally abusive, cause that's an option.

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Originally Posted by FelicityC

I have countless little stories of helping people. I have been toxic as everyone has, but every time I was, it only hurt everyone and made everything take longer. I believe the phrase "don't worry about not doing well if you're new, as long as you're learning something" can mean a lot to new players, and I say it often. New players are anxious about being bad, but they're just learning, and it takes time.

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I'm not perfect. The farthest thing. I've had my moments of falling off the wagon and just participating in bashing. But when I started taking steps backwards some years back I'd try to look at it outside of the box and consider that "hey this person's new" so lets get them into my Discord and give them a push. Everyone learns at different paces and some might require a little hand holding. But for the hands I've "held" most of the time, they'll come back to me and outpace me in the role I was giving them a hand in.

And I'm perfectly happy when someone who was struggling begins to show me up and puts me in my place.

I'm not better than the next person. Better informed? Sure. That also depends because I've had 10 years of experience in this game and was subject to all of the changes, the fights, the mechanics, the classes. So lets pass down some of my experience and advice to someone who is receptive. They did after all take the time and money to purchase the game, choose the class that they wanted to try and I want them to genuinely succeed at it.

I'm not gonna tell someone, anyone, to "watch a video" because I never do. I learn the things I do because I tuck my pantlegs into my socks and go in knee deep. That's how I learn. Hands on experience. Most of the people who struggle and take the time to hear me out eventually learn and then demonstrate it better than I can put it into words.

I think if more people were willing to lend and bend an ear to someone struggling at a fight, tackle it with a little bit of empathy, we'd have the ground work to potentially a much better community. Unfortunately we'll always have impatient gatekeeping perverted edgelords here - and we just have to be vigilant about how we handle it. We don't know the person behind the keyboard. A lot of us play this game to escape IRL stuff or to find enjoyment.

Who are we to take that away from them?

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Originally Posted by Izscha

Sarcasm aside, if you start to listen to ppl here everyone is depressed antisocial stressed and triggered by everything you can say and that's normal to put up with terrible ppl both skillwise or attitude because you must be friendly at all cost no matter how bad and lazy they are, so yay best community ever yay.

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Syntax Genocide not withstanding....

This quote here is one of many perfect examples of what I mean when people are less constructive and more targeting of the problem rather than hammering out a solution or taking the time to help. Just because you have a garbage situation in your real life happening doesn't mean you should be taking it out on people who are using the game to escape their troubles and cope.

And "yay best community ever yay" isn't putting aside sarcasm. It's just further cementing the issues I lay out and people like you who aren't willing to help out the community aside from throwing more tires on the fire.

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Originally Posted by KizuyaKatogami

Honestly this is what a lot of this community feels like a lot of the time xD Especially when it comes to giving criticism to the game, it feels like people are in this 14 cult where you need to love every aspect of the game and any criticism is wrong lmao.

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They aren't saying you have to love it, but they love it themselves so they want to explain why they love it and then you can either agree with it or not. There are things to criticise, but not nearly as much as in other games and what is different is that the developers explain why something has to be this way or why it's hard to fix so that we understand.

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Originally Posted by Drkdays

Most people AREN'T bad at the game though, and those who do struggle rarely do content that requires high-level playing anyways. So most of the people that get called out are either not doing anything worth being tormented over or those who do are probably still learning and too nervous to ask for help. Then you have your trolls, but they're surprisingly rare in group content in this game and are usually pretty obvious.

So yes, you MUST put up with players that die repeatedly or fail to do mechanics, because they are a minority and you are an adult (probably) and this game supports players at all levels and ages.

Or you can leave the group and find a new one without being verbally abusive, cause that's an option.

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I have at least a dungeon run a day where i see someone that can be written off as bad. I’m talking endgame dungeons too IE Paglthan or Matoya’s Relict. People not aoeing,red mages hard casting spells, healers not dpsing, etc etc. The things you’d expect they had learned after 3 expansions. I’ve tried being nice and explaining and all i’ve typically gotten is either attitude/snark or silence.

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Originally Posted by Jeeqbit

They aren't saying you have to love it, but they love it themselves so they want to explain why they love it and then you can either agree with it or not. There are things to criticise, but not nearly as much as in other games and what is different is that the developers explain why something has to be this way or why it's hard to fix so that we understand.

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However the same type of player that you're describing get very hostile and upset if you don't agree with them.

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Originally Posted by Drkdays

Most people AREN'T bad at the game though

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We dont play the same game then.
What's the name of the game you do play i'm curious ?

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Originally Posted by Izscha

We dont play the same game then.
What's the name of the game you do play i'm curious ?

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There are definitely people bad at the game quite regularly. That being said, I'd rather play with people that are dog water at the game than people who would be upset over it. And, no, I'm not talking about content that people would generally have a static for and even then in those situations if someone is bad I'd rather play with people that would help and enjoy helping others learn things than the people who act like being bad at a video game is some kind of irredeemable sin that should be punishable by firing squad.

Man, I yearn for the days of being able to roast someone so hard their entire family would feel it for generations to come, only for them to retaliate with a tactical nuke that would leave nothing but a smoking crater and broken dreams. Nothing builds camaraderie like vigorously insulting someone's lineage over a rousing game of Minecraft.

No /s here btw.

Kupo, if you see me in Jenova I will hug you and toss flowers! <3 kupo

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Originally Posted by Avatre

It's called have a civil discussion, or debate. You don't need a fight or argument to get our point across...if you do, you may want to revisit how you respond to different situations and adjust your attitude accordingly. Getting mad isn't the only option available to people.

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And if someone does get mad? Not like it's an emotion that never happens in people.

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/Affectiona...lie-poster.jpg

This thread's a roller coaster. Up and down and all around but always in the same circle.

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Originally Posted by TheMightyMollusk

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/Affectiona...lie-poster.jpg

This thread's a roller coaster. Up and down and all around but always in the same circle.

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Isn’t this the forums in general tbh

Hmmm... this post just got massively edited.

Man... and all of my well thought arguments and retorts just faded away.

Oh well - nothing to see here. Everyone as you were!

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Originally Posted by MaikoRaines

Hmmm... this post just got massively edited.

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Not surprised. It’s a bit funny to me we have so many rampant troll threads but when there’s an active ongoing fairly good discussion that’s what typically gets mod attention lmao.

Guess there is no point quoting it again then.

Agree to disagree :)

Btw about your "all tanks" stuff in bozja zadnor, they did think about it with the reduce HP / greatly increase damage item.
Even with full tanks you can have insane damages with the good stuff and that's the whole point of using items.

OP, for several years of my playtime in this game I was in the same boat as you. I felt insane! I played this game, I loved this game, but I thought I was playing a radically different game to everyone else. While everyone I knew said the game was full of cool, friendly, people and an open and fun community; I only seemed to find people who constantly harassed others, screamed about parsers and optimal strategies even in casual content while the community at large heavily gatekept pretty much anything they could, while simultaneously harassing anyone trying to make progress. It was terrible and led to me quitting the game for a long period of time, coming back; finding nothing had changed, and quitting again when I ran out of story content to do.

And then a good friend of mine started playing and I made a character on their server. And let me tell you; it was night and day. People weren't calling eachother slurs in chat! People were being friendly! People actually did fates out in the wild, and most of the party finders weren't locked and gatekept behind having max item level for even basic things, and I only saw one or two people ever even talk about parsers let alone spend an entire raid or dungeon harassing people for not parsing higher! So when server status changed and free transfers to that server were open, I took the chance, jumped ship and never looked back.

I used to play on Cactuar. You can not pay me to ever go back there. People blame Asmongold for its community, but no dawg. It was awful before, "wow refugees" are just a convenient scapegoat for people being forced to face the fact that their server has a really hostile and caustic attitude and always has.

I've been in just about every online community there is since the original bulletin board days. I also do primarily PUG content in this game, and I can say with a fair degree of certainty that for me at least this is one of the best overall communities I've seen in a long time.

Every community out there has it's bad apples, that's just people in general. But here that's seemed like the exception, not the rule. My interactions in ffxiv have been almost 100% positive. My first week playing the game someone gave me a free mount. We talked for a bit and they seemed like a genuinely nice person. You might say "that's just one person and most people aren't like that" and I would have been inclined to agree with that if most of my interactions with people hadn't been pretty much the same. Just normal people being decent to each other and having a good time. The general sense of mirth and whimsy is really strong around here and it has been a serious breath of fresh air.

Like I alluded to earlier, even the PUG content has been more relaxing than others I've played. In dungeons or even raids, everyone always seems to be having a good time and wanting to help others learn, etc. People almost always greet each other at the beginning, with usually having some commentary along the way. When someone messes up or doesn't do well, people don't start raging at them calling them a terrible person with various epithets, etc. Quite the opposite.

Even the little things like Leap of Faith at the Golden Saucer with people cheering others on at the finish line with dances and glow sticks. It really has been a good time for me.

If all you see is negativity wherever you go, you'll be naturally drawn to it and you won't find anything else. This is coming from someone who was an extremely angry person for more than half his life. I get it, I've been there.

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachmen...13usaonutL.png

This thread just made me think of the thing above.

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Originally Posted by Burmecia

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachmen...13usaonutL.png

This thread just made me think of the thing above.

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people were having a civil discussion about various aspects of the community and experiences of it, but apparently that was worth removing? nothing that was said by anyone that took part in it was against the rules, there was no name calling, no one was insulted, people were just writing their experiences and/or observations down
though, one could certainly argue that one of the mentioned aspects of the community is either very report happy when directly mentioned or worse, the moderation wants people to not talk about it a la reddit

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Originally Posted by Rinhi

people were having a civil discussion about various aspects of the community and experiences of it, but apparently that was worth removing? nothing that was said by anyone that took part in it was against the rules, there was no name calling, no one was insulted, people were just writing their experiences and/or observations down
though, one could certainly argue that one of the mentioned aspects of the community is either very report happy when directly mentioned or worse, the moderation wants people to not talk about it a la reddit

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It is a bit funny isn’t it? That one of the very things mentioned in this thread ended up occurring? XD it’s like a fulfilled prophecy.

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Originally Posted by Rinhi

people were having a civil discussion about various aspects of the community and experiences of it, but apparently that was worth removing? nothing that was said by anyone that took part in it was against the rules, there was no name calling, no one was insulted, people were just writing their experiences and/or observations down
though, one could certainly argue that one of the mentioned aspects of the community is either very report happy when directly mentioned or worse, the moderation wants people to not talk about it a la reddit

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I don't know that I'd say it was completely civil, there's a lot of disingenuous posts in this thread, from people saying how bad the community is and people saying the community has no issues.

The reality is that people on the forums are much more vocal and opinionated than people in game, and most experiences in game will be positive. Very few members of the community visit outside of game media, so their impressions tend to be on the positive end. Hence all the "Wow, the XIV community is great" posts you see on places like reddit.

As I said before, the communities opinion on itself is like reviews. Peoples viewpoints will trend the impressions one way or another, and XIVs is seen as mostly positive.

There seems to be a lot of people on here who think anyone having a positive view of the game/community/devs are white knights or shills or w/e, and there is another subset who think anyone who dislikes the game apparently came from WoW and should leave.

Both groups are equally terrible to deal with.

The community is only nice to you until you go against the mainstream opinion or God forbids, be disappointed with the devs. It's more obvious in community outside the game (reddit, Twitter, etc). But I've also encountered rude players that can't take any criticism against them or the game, at all, when playing. And gods, the amount of passive-aggressiveness is way off the chart.

If I were to use example, I would say this community as a whole is like Gridania. Cheerful and peaceful on the surface, but beneath it not so much.

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Originally Posted by Escalon

A just throw something in, I just got a "Official Warning due to Violation" for Point 3.3 Profanity and Offensive Language. It states today was the day of the offence, but I played a bit in the morning where I did run 2 or 3 Dungeons NOT saying anything all 3 runs. Now I log in and i'm being told I broke some rules. The last time I used profanity was about 3 or 4 weeks ago in PVP where I used foul language because people were literally throwing an win and it was extremely frustrating to watch.

Not toxic ? Bull...This games is full of "snowflakes" and OH GOD IF YOU DARE SAY SOMETHING MEAN!
I'm literally stopping talking to ALL players in the game. Not gonna risk my account because I might hurt some ones feeling. But hey, knowing SE I will be reported for being too silent too and they ban me anyway.

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Why would not talking help when you just said you didn't talk this morning, but still somehow committed a violation?

Did you lie about not talking? And if you did, what else are you not saying regarding your violation? Maybe it's not the "snowflakes," but it's you who are being toxic with respect to your choice of word/phrase.

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Originally Posted by Valkyrie_Lenneth

The reality is that people on the forums are much more vocal and opinionated than people in game, and most experiences in game will be positive.

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Yeah, this is a weird phenomenon.
Personally, I haven't had too many bad experiences in game either, and people I know on NA DCs are having a good time, too.

I believe it has to do with burnout. Some people are just jaded after a long time of XIV, and they don't follow YP's advice of taking time off and playing something else. They cling to XIV despite being unhappy, then take it to the forums.

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Originally Posted by linayar

Why would not talking help when you just said you didn't talk this morning, but still somehow committed a violation?

Did you lie about not talking? And if you did, what else are you not saying regarding your violation? Maybe it's not the "snowflakes," but it's you who are being toxic with respect to your choice of word/phrase.

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No, I literally did not talk to anyone in game that morning, I rarely talk in dungeons. Im not in a FC either.
I meant the stopping talking to all players even outside of dungeons, its not worth the risk of loosing my account by accidentally hurting someone's ego. (what a shocker, I sometimes enjoy talking with random people)

And Yes, I'm honestly absolutely confused why I got that warning. Thats why I said the last time I legit was using foul language was in frustration 3 or 4 weeks before in a Frontline match.
I should add, before you say I was hurling abusive words left and right. I said exactly 2 sentences with 1 swear word each.
If I would get a warning for that, I would not say a thing since it would be warranted.

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Originally Posted by Escalon

I should add, before you say I was hurling abusive words left and right. I said exactly 2 sentences with 1 swear word each.
If I would get a warning for that, I would not say a thing since it would be warranted.

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... maybe stop swearing? Considering this isn't voicechat and you have to type out everything, I'd say there is ample time for proofreading what you're saying before it hits other peoples screens.


Maybe I'm a slow typer. Maybe I just don't have the same vocab. But I've never found it hard to not swear.

congrats on being the one person in the world who somehow never gets frustrated in their life?

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Originally Posted by Rinhi

congrats on being the one person in the world who somehow never gets frustrated in their life?

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Is this directed at me?

Who says I don't get frustrated?

I just manage to interrupt the "FIRETRUCK" before it goes all the way through from brain to fingers to enter key. I'll even swear out loud. I'm just wondering how people whack out swear words in text and seemingly have absolutely no chance to stop it before blamming that out.

EDIT: What do you do when dealing with say.. children? Children are notoriously frustrating to deal with, but are also generally not OK to swear around (kids learn new words really fast! especially if you don't want them to and they LOVE words that get reactions), so what do you do in real life when you get frustrated but are not allowed to or just shouldn't swear?

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Originally Posted by Krotoan

Is this directed at me?

Who says I don't get frustrated?

I just manage to interrupt the "FIRETRUCK" before it goes all the way through from brain to fingers to enter key. I'll even swear out loud. I'm just wondering how people whack out swear words in text and seemingly have absolutely no chance to stop it before blamming that out.

EDIT: What do you do when dealing with say.. children? Children are notoriously frustrating to deal with, but are also generally not OK to swear around (kids learn new words really fast! especially if you don't want them to and they LOVE words that get reactions), so what do you do in real life when you get frustrated but are not allowed to or just shouldn't swear?

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Well to your edit not everyone wants kids and avoids them. So honestly its easy just avoid and do your own thing.

Also to add onto what I have said there are things that prevent that. When your having mood swings, manic episode even when you take your meds people poking at you.

Sometimes things dont enter my brain at all I type/talk with my heart often times not even knowing what I type until I press enter. When your angry rush typing is to be expect as well.

I believe this is the issue is people dont seem to realize not everyone writes, creates or types with logic or brain running it some or more emotion based which is a huge difference. Some people also are more sensitive than others.

Most times you wont even know the age of people you're talking to, so no idea how one would avoid them.

Also, game is PG13, 13 year olds know more swear words than you, trust me.

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Originally Posted by FusiaRain

Well to your edit not everyone wants kids and avoids them. So honestly its easy just avoid and do your own thing.

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Not necessarily your own. I personally don't have kids either but I do have to go places where kids are, like.. outside. However kids are just one of many examples. Another being work, yet another super frustrating environment sometimes. How do you stop swearing at work? Hitting people? Lashing out in any way?

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Originally Posted by FusiaRain

Also to add onto what I have said there are things that prevent that. When your having mood swings, manic episode even when you take your meds people poking at you.

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While of course actual dysfunctions or chemical imbalances are somewhat examples but like managing anything else you should not put yourself in the situation if you understand you could "lose control".

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Originally Posted by FusiaRain

Sometimes things dont enter my brain at all I type/talk with my heart often times not even knowing what I type until I press enter. When your angry rush typing is to be expect as well.

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... maybe work on that. Self control is a skill to be exercised.

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Originally Posted by AlyaNimfa

Most times you wont even know the age of people you're talking to, so no idea how one would avoid them.

Also, game is PG13, 13 year olds know more swear words than you, trust me.

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Y'all are focusing too much on the kids part. It's the control part that I'm asking about. You think up your own example and I'm sure you know of at least one: "what do you do when you're in a frustrating situation where you aren't allowed or just shouldn't swear?". Or is your life entirely structured around NOT being in those situations? I'd be impressed. The point being playing FFXIV is one of those situations we've ALL put ourselves in. It's known we probably shouldn't swear in anything other than secure interactions between known quantities. Is it really that hard to limit ones self? Is the rest of everyones lives just full of outbursts and structured around never putting themselves in a place they can't do it?

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Originally Posted by FusiaRain

I believe this is the issue is people dont seem to realize not everyone writes, creates or types with logic or brain running it some or more emotion based which is a huge difference. Some people also are more senstibe than others.

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It's obvious others are going to be different. However the rules will not bend to them. You either can work within the rules and guidelines or realize what your limitations are and work to make sure they don't accidentally get you in trouble. I suppose never saying anything in "say" is a way to do it. Maybe it's the gap I have where typing is a conscious action for me and not what I grew up from a baby communicating in. I'm not sure what your last sentence is supposed to say.. sensitive? Sensible?

Either way, yes.. but just because you're more passionate or have a short temper or take words to heart easily shouldn't mean you get to skirt rules.

I be mature about things and handle it without being obnoxious or rude. I've had countless people literally scream in my face, or over the phone, it's like water off a ducks back to me now.
When it comes to online, I go grab a coffee, or have a short break and come back if things are real bad. There's just no real need to be rude, and it gets you nowhere. Other than even more worked up.

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Originally Posted by Krotoan

Not necessarily your own. I personally don't have kids either but I do have to go places where kids are, like.. outside. However kids are just one of many examples. Another being work, yet another super frustrating environment sometimes. How do you stop swearing at work? Hitting people? Lashing out in any way?


While of course actual dysfunctions or chemical imbalances are somewhat examples but like managing anything else you should not put yourself in the situation if you understand you could "lose control".


... maybe work on that. Self control is a skill to be exercised.



Y'all are focusing too much on the kids part. It's the control part that I'm asking about. You think up your own example and I'm sure you know of at least one: "what do you do when you're in a frustrating situation where you aren't allowed or just shouldn't swear?". Or is your life entirely structured around NOT being in those situations? I'd be impressed. The point being playing FFXIV is one of those situations we've ALL put ourselves in. It's known we probably shouldn't swear in anything other than secure interactions between known quantities. Is it really that hard to limit ones self? Is the rest of everyones lives just full of outbursts and structured around never putting themselves in a place they can't do it?

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Well simple under breath sware and knowing most the people around me with how they are that they are harming themselves.

Also shopping at night and the places I go for my styles kids arent really in those stores, or they are things I have to custom order. Honestly can avoid them irl completely.

But to answer your question I think of irl in fantasy terms which for the most part keeps me calm plus digging my nails into my arm to remain calm has been a habit since I was 15

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Originally Posted by Krotoan

Is this directed at me?

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you and others who have posted similar posts, yes

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Originally Posted by Krotoan

Who says I don't get frustrated?
I just manage to interrupt the "FIRETRUCK" before it goes all the way through from brain to fingers to enter key. I'll even swear out loud. I'm just wondering how people whack out swear words in text and seemingly have absolutely no chance to stop it before blamming that out.

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others are more impulsive than you (or I for that matter, unless you count 'damns' as a swear word :P), and considering that a simple 'frick' or two can apparently net you visit by a gm, I do think that posts like yours and others about how "easy" it is to not swear aren't helping and feel more like you're poking fun at people who lose their temper in some way or form, sometimes not even aimed at anyone in particular or even themselves

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Krotoan

EDIT: What do you do when dealing with say.. children? Children are notoriously frustrating to deal with, but are also generally not OK to swear around (kids learn new words really fast! especially if you don't want them to and they LOVE words that get reactions), so what do you do in real life when you get frustrated but are not allowed to or just shouldn't swear?

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I don't swear in front of children or in front of people, only if the situation warrants it in the latter example, i.e. a car speeding past me/someone close and almost hitting someone, a "what the frick" might escape my lips in a situation like that
at the few places I've worked/am working, no one really batted an eye when someone lets out a little swear out of frustration, unless it's aimed at someone since we're all adults and know that some things are just so frustrating that you need to vent your displeasure immediately

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Originally Posted by AlyaNimfa

When it comes to online, I go grab a coffee, or have a short break and come back if things are real bad. There's just no real need to be rude, and it gets you nowhere. Other than even more worked up.

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basically this, though I admit I was a bit more hot headed in my younger days :D
but I also completely understand the frustration some people can have in this game for various reasons, generalising and judging someone over what may have been a culmination of a lot of grief and stress and unloading into some swear words in a videogame isn't the nicest thing to do, imo

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Originally Posted by Rinhi

you and others who have posted similar posts, yes

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This wasn't implying that I , or anyone else who has managed to not swear in game, are BETTER than anyone. We're all just people and I accept that means we're very different. I'm not some emotionless lump or implying I am a master of self control. I'm trying to point out though that implying the rules are at fault for someone doing what they're trying to prevent is kinda a backwards way to look at it. The rules assume people have basic self control and can operate in a "family" environment. This is literally what is agreed to by hitting the "play" button.

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Originally Posted by Rinhi

others are more impulsive than you (or I for that matter, unless you count 'damns' as a swear word :P), and considering that a simple 'frick' or two can apparently net you visit by a gm, I do think that posts like yours and others about how "easy" it is to not swear aren't helping and feel more like you're poking fun at people who lose their temper in some way or form, sometimes not even aimed at anyone in particular or even themselves

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are you talking actual "frick" or the ..actual word we all think when we say frick?
I'm not poking fun at anyone. I'm hoping they can look at what's going on and go "oh.. the problem isn't I'm getting CAUGHT swearing, maybe I could.. not swear where they don't want me to.".

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Originally Posted by Rinhi

I don't swear in front of children or in front of people, only if the situation warrants it in the latter example, i.e. a car speeding past me/someone close and almost hitting someone, a "what the frick" might escape my lips in a situation like that
at the few places I've worked/am working, no one really batted an eye when someone lets out a little swear out of frustration, unless it's aimed at someone since we're all adults and know that some things are just so frustrating that you need to vent your displeasure immediately

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OK so you personally likely have a handle on your own frustration and control yourself based on situation, surroundings and appropriateness. Again you, like I , understand that frustration is not an excuse correct? So a suggestion that maybe not swearing where you're not supposed to be swearing isn't some jab and might be a reminder that whether or not you want to or are used to swearing all the time, you have to consider where you're are at the time.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Krotoan

This wasn't implying that I , or anyone else who has managed to not swear in game, are BETTER than anyone. We're all just people and I accept that means we're very different. I'm not some emotionless lump or implying I am a master of self control. I'm trying to point out though that implying the rules are at fault for someone doing what they're trying to prevent is kinda a backwards way to look at it. The rules assume people have basic self control and can operate in a "family" environment. This is literally what is agreed to by hitting the "play" button.

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maybe not you, but there were multiple posts whose intent was clear as the day earlier in the thread, unless they got deleted with the 2 pages of discussion

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Krotoan

are you talking actual "frick" or the ..actual word we all think when we say frick?
I'm not poking fun at anyone. I'm hoping they can look at what's going on and go "oh.. the problem isn't I'm getting CAUGHT swearing, maybe I could.. not swear where they don't want me to.".

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I meant the actual word, yeah lol, and while you didn't intend to poke fun at anyone, it read to me like that, I apologize if I misunderstood your intentions

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Krotoan

OK so you personally likely have a handle on your own frustration and control yourself based on situation, surroundings and appropriateness. Again you, like I , understand that frustration is not an excuse correct? So suggestion that maybe not swearing where you're not supposed to be swearing isn't some jab and might be a reminder that whether or not you want to or are used to swearing all the time, you have to consider where you're are at the time.

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it's not an excuse, but I do excuse people who swear depending on the situation and like theo said it earlier in the thread, some of the sweetest people I know swear like a sailor, hell, my former really awesome boss was one of those people, too, at work nonetheless
so yes, it 'doesn't have a place' in the game, but it's also a non-issue to me if people swear in the game unless they swear AT people with the intention to hurt
if it's someone saying, say, 'why is fricking X standing afk in the starting area?' in alliance raids or pvp, or a 'why the frick are you repeatedly standing in bad' after multiple wipes or big issues due to that person doing it, I understand it, even though know I know it's wrong and against the TOS, if that makes sense? I just accept that it's a momentary lapse of control and not an inherent lack of self control

FFXIV is played by millions of people.

To expect all of them to act uniformly, like all the players are robots manufactured by the same factory with the same programming, is idiotic. Of course you will meet arseholes and shitheads in the community.

Though by FAR this community is filled with more positive people, or at least people that do not directly act like arses whenever they're inconvenienced, in my personal experience.

Though it should be noted that I play in Japanese server, so maybe the culture is just different in NA or EU servers.

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Originally Posted by LaughingBanana

Though by FAR this community is filled with more positive people, or at least people that do not directly act like arses whenever they're inconvenienced, in my personal experience.

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Cause TOS indirectly censor you from being to hostile. Wherever that's a good or bad thing is a different discussion for a different day.

All this talk about swearing and it's something I've never even done before in my life. I'm in my mid 30s. Only time I've said such words is when I'm reading dialog out loud for my YouTube lets play channel. Even then there are some words I refuse to say. Never found it hard.

Also, such words are very often used as insults, but if everyone uses them on everyone else, is it really an insult anymore?