KABOOM! Baseless Head-Canons [SPOILERS]

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Originally Posted by Mysteltain

After blasting off to space, Hildibrand eventually crashed into the moon and interrupted Elidibus and WoD's conversation. As the Ascians were down three members, they made Hildibrand an honorary Ascian. That's why we haven't seen him lately: he's too busy making them into gentlemen and women. But Elidibus ain't having any of that, which is why he's never around the others for long,

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So the new Hildi sidequests will be about us following him around because we can stop Ascians easier that way?

Oooh, Head-canons and crackpot theories? I have one!

The WoL is a reincarnation of Ratatoskr.

The irony is delicious.

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Originally Posted by Ziatrix

The irony is delicious.

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Is it as delicious as dragon eye, though?

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Originally Posted by Wadoka

Gerolt is really Rhalgr, or at least, an avatar of Rhalgr.

I haven't decided on the "story" that has him in Hyrstmill re-forging Relics for the Warrior of Light, but I'm sure it's a good one, involving a masterful plot to liberate Ala Mhigo.

It would fit the classic mold of narrative causality, the wandering smith who's there precisely when the Hero needs a smith - like Brigid of the Tuatha, or Wayland...

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Actually, since Rahlgr is The Destroyer, it's make more since for Gerolt to be Bygrot the Builder.

Head-canon: Elidibus likes to be in strict control at all times; any objects he owns or tends to must be organized and cleaned to the utmost of his ability. He gets anxiety and becomes grumpy when they're not. A wrinkle in his robes basically just stops his day from progressing entirely.

Thordan never stopped having affairs with women. Age doesn't stop men like him. I see him as the Hugh Hefner of FFXIV; it's Ishgard's worst-kept secret.

Kan-E-Senna is prone to sea and airship sickness.

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Originally Posted by Kaiser-Ace

Actually, since Rhalgr is The Destroyer, it's make more since for Gerolt to be Byregrot the Builder.

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Thought about that. But. Gerolt seems to sneak Rhalgr's symbol onto every piece he makes.

Unless it's just a tribute to dear old Dad?

Or "See, I can't be Byregot, why would I put Dad's symbol on my stuff?"

Or...

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Originally Posted by Kaiser-Ace

Actually, since Rahlgr is The Destroyer, it's make more since for Gerolt to be Bygrot the Builder.

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But the Destroyer WOULD make the best weapons of war, would he not?

Yda's face is always hidden because secretly she is a princess of Ala Mhigo.

It would be hard to navigate around the world if everyone recognized you.

Ramuh, Lord of the Levin and arguably the most human of the Primals. Wise beyond mortal ken and older than modern civilisation, his fury shakes the heavens and makes the earth tremble in his passing...

...When he's not busy putting the fear of God into arrogant mortals, he enjoys sitting down under the trees in a quiet meadow and telling the Sylphs fairytales and stories.

The Adamantoise Mount from the Gold Saucer is actually Teledji Adeledji's Giant Tortoise from the Heroes in a Halfshell Guildhest adopted by Gildbert after it's owner had no further use for it. ((There are probably aesthetic differences and technically they aren't the same species, but I am willing to ignore these things.))

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Originally Posted by CyrilLucifer

Head-canon: Elidibus likes to be in strict control at all times; any objects he owns or tends to must be organized and cleaned to the utmost of his ability. He gets anxiety and becomes grumpy when they're not. A wrinkle in his robes basically just stops his day from progressing entirely.

Thordan never stopped having affairs with women. Age doesn't stop men like him. I see him as the Hugh Hefner of FFXIV; it's Ishgard's worst-kept secret.

Kan-E-Senna is prone to sea and airship sickness.

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Yes yes and yes. Though my imagining is that despite his amorous adventures, Aymeric is his only child, as Thordan is not particularly fertile.

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Originally Posted by Twailaith

Ramuh, Lord of the Levin and arguably the most human of the Primals. Wise beyond mortal ken and older than modern civilisation, his fury shakes the heavens and makes the earth tremble in his passing...

...When he's not busy putting the fear of God into arrogant mortals, he enjoys sitting down under the trees in a quiet meadow and telling the Sylphs fairytales and stories.

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I could see him a grandpa-ish trickster too, since he's the embodiment of sylph beliefs.

Another one I had recently... the Au Ra are not descended from dragons but from crustaceans. That's right. They are crab people.

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Originally Posted by Dualblade

But the Destroyer WOULD make the best weapons of war, would he not?

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Not quite, take Greek Mythology, Zues and Athena were both warrior gods who also closly parallel to Halone and Rahgle as well.

But Hephestious was the God of Smithing. By extension, Bygrot is a direct parallel being that he is the Builder and patron of Blacksmiths and Armorers in Eorzea.

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Originally Posted by Wadoka

Thought about that. But. Gerolt seems to sneak Rhalgr's symbol onto every piece he makes.

Unless it's just a tribute to dear old Dad?

Or "See, I can't be Byregot, why would I put Dad's symbol on my stuff?"

Or...

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Or He's a Highlander and Rahlger is The Patron God of Ala Mihgo's as well as a god of battle and destruction.

Aymeric and Lucia are in a "secret" relationship that everyone in Ishgard knows about.

Lalafels do not naturally have facial hair and are extremely jealous of those that do to the point of wearing fake ones.

Almost a third of the Scion's budget goes towards tea.

Elidibus and Urianger have philosophical debates whilst playing chess

Haurchefant's mother was the sister of Hilda's father and died not that much from a sickness but out of grief and shame upon realizing what a douchebag her brother was.

My Head cannon is this:

The WoL is actually a primal of some kind, powered by Hydalin because:...
>At the start of the game, the WoL is weak as hell.
>When you defeat the first primal, people start hearing about you and believe in you, and your strength increases proportionately to your feats.
>Nothing is known about he WoL prior to the game start. They just appear in one random city and start doing things.
>The WoL is immune to the other primals jedi mind tricks (its said the echo is the cause of this but primals cant become influenced by other primals possibly for the same or similar reason?)
> After beating Thordan in the MSQ, he looks at you and asks "wtf are you??" and the following shot is a super evil looking shot of the WoL.

I finally came up with another random theory/idea or whatever anyone wants to call it:

Eventually, once the Ascians are severely weakened, the Twelve will return. Once they return however and start making swift work of the remaining Ascians the balance will be severely thrown out of whack causing the real Calamity of Light to begin (or Calamity of Darkness in an attempt to fix the balance). We find out that the Twelve and Hydalyn aren't all they are shaped up to be and to keep life as we know it from ending we end up having to side with the Ascians.

I had it worded better in my mind earlier, but all this studying scrambled my brain!

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Originally Posted by Rhodkr

I finally came up with another random theory/idea or whatever anyone wants to call it:

Eventually, once the Ascians are severely weakened, the Twelve will return. Once they return however and start making swift work of the remaining Ascians the balance will be severely thrown out of whack causing the real Calamity of Light to begin (or Calamity of Darkness in an attempt to fix the balance). We find out that the Twelve and Hydalyn aren't all they are shaped up to be and to keep life as we know it from ending we end up having to side with the Ascians.

I had it worded better in my mind earlier, but all this studying scrambled my brain!

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Soooo, basically FF13-3's plot?

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Originally Posted by Kaiser-Ace

Soooo, basically FF13-3's plot?

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Honestly I haven't played lightning returns. The only ff13 I played was the original (didn't even touch 13-2).

So I'll just uh, take your word on it.

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Originally Posted by Rhodkr

Honestly I haven't played lightning returns. The only ff13 I played was the original (didn't even touch 13-2).

So I'll just uh, take your word on it.

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Basically The Gods are evil and since the Gods are evil, light kills the Gods to make a human world without Gods deciding their fate.

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Originally Posted by Kaiser-Ace

Basically The Gods are evil and since the Gods are evil, light kills the Gods to make a human world without Gods deciding their fate.

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It's a bit more nuanced than that, but I don't have 200 pages to explain. Freaking Nojima.

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Originally Posted by Fenral

It's a bit more nuanced than that, but I don't have 200 pages to explain.

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Evangalion had similar themes and just as much nuance (Freaking Anno), but I think like that and XIII, XIV is gonna dive into Gnostic/Demiurge themes anyway

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Originally Posted by Fenral

It's a bit more nuanced than that, but I don't have 200 pages to explain. Freaking Nojima.

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Said that right. >_>

That trilogy was more full of holes than a kingdom hearts fanfiction.

My preferred interpretation, though, is that even Lightning realizes her trilogy is an unnecessary and overly-complicated mess, and decides the only way to keep it from degenerating further is to kill the Creator Himself, who as an added bonus wants to make her into his immortal waifu, and relocate everyone to a world outside the confines of the narrative.

I kinda have Evangelion vibes, especially from the Ascien. Actually even Xenogears kinda come close with the whole mass extinction event in order for each iteration of the humans to be genetically viable for re-absorption of Deus/ it's creator

I have a feeling that the "Ardor"/ rejoining pretty caused mass "death" in that everyone gets absorbed into Zodiark and become part of it's being.

While Hydaelyns world is physical, thus resulting in having to understand each other. Zodiarks world will be incorporeal and that everyone is connecting on a spiritual level

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Originally Posted by myahele

Zodiarks world will in corporeal and that everyone is connecting on a spiritual level

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But...corporeal means it has a body, so that would be the same as Hydaelyn.

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Originally Posted by Viridiana

But...corporeal means it has a body, so that would be the same as Hydaelyn.

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lol, i meant incorporeal

And now I have the headcannon that is a based off Eva and the origina of XI's own races. All Life originates from one or both of of the Crystals (Zodiark and Hydaelyn) and the Ascians seek to bring all life into a Hivemind with Zodiark as the "queen".

Baseless conjecture, you say:

1. Y'shtola loves karaoke (or whatever Eorzea's equivalent is) but she has a terrible singing voice
2. Raubahn wears a girdle
3. Lahabrea's real name is Corky

The xiv version of the "world of ruin" will be the land below the sea of clouds.

This one guy named Steven had so many random materials clogging up his and his retainers' inventories, he decided to randomly bury them all over the zones, then the facetious pr**k drew maps marking the spots on all the leftover skins he had and randomly hid them under rocks, in trees, and under bushes.

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Originally Posted by Iagainsti

This one guy named Steven had so many random materials clogging up his and his retainers' inventories, he decided to randomly bury them all over the zones, then the facetious pr**k drew maps marking the spots on all the leftover skins he had and randomly hid them under rocks, in trees, and under bushes.

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Then coated them in monster pheromones to add insult to injury when someone actually bought one of his maps.

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Originally Posted by Kaiser-Ace

Then coated them in monster pheromones to add insult to injury when someone actually bought one of his maps.

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Musk powerful enough to attract beings THAT CANNOT SMELL!

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Originally Posted by myahele

I have a feeling that the "Ardor"/ rejoining pretty caused mass "death" in that everyone gets absorbed into Zodiark and become part of it's being.

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Except mass death isn't the objective of the Ascians. If it was, why send the Warrior of Darkness to stop Ravana? The surest way to cause a mass extinction event is to let a primal absorb the Triad, but that seems to be, Lahabrea aside, not their primary objective.

I have a feeling that the mass death is merely a byproduct of the true goal behind the Ardors, not their primary function.

Minfillia has a habit of yelling and screaming just to make sure she's not alone.
Thancred didn't lose his eye. he just wears the scarf in that fashion because he thinks it looks cool.
Estinien is currently pretty okay with being a dragon. he just doesn't like the fact that that particular dragon is Nidhogg.
Tiamat's bonds failed ages ago, she just doesn't really feel that interested in breaking them.
Nothing is stopping midgarsormer from regenerating to his original gargantuan form. he just finds it amusing to be small, and got bored with his old form.

the world is secretly run by a bunch of small sentient marsupials that all wea-wait sorry wrong game.

Ser Charibert lost his parents to the pox. This is why he has an obsession with sickness and purging it.

Miqo'te and Au Ra children go through a tail pulling stage as toddlers and very often a tail biting one when their teeth start to come through. So in addition to the usual challenges of motherhood miqo'te and Au Ra mums have to worry about chunks being taken out of them by their offspring (those poor Keepers of the Moon).

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Originally Posted by Confidence_Trick

Miqo'te and Au Ra children go through a tail pulling stage as toddlers and very often a tail biting one when their teeth start to come through. So in addition to the usual challenges of motherhood miqo'te and Au Ra mums have to worry about chunks being taken out of them by their offspring (those poor Keepers of the Moon).

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I think Au Ra women have a few additional problems when it comes to male offspring too.

Mainly that male children actually are smaller than female until puberty and get a 3 and a half fulm growth spurt and have to relearn how to do things with out wreking the house.