Attempts at Eorzean humor

Awesome thread. I'm besaid myself with laughter. Absolutely fabul, guys!

(in 2015, when BST is implemented)


A Gladiator goes to meet his Beastmaster friend in Ishgard. When they meet, the Gladiator comments how surprising it is that he managed to tame Uraeus and lead him into the city, to which the beastmaster replies "Uraeus?! That's my wife!"

sorry. I tried.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by PandaTaru

A Roegadyn and a Lala wait in a Doctor's office specialized in colon cancer tests. The doctors rushes in the waiting room and says "Oh, Mr Roegadyn, you didn't need to bring a suppository."

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I can't stop laughing.... XD *falls out of chair* Good one!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ceska_Zbrojovka

How many Marauders does it take to change a light bulb?
1, But a Gladiator has to show them how it's done first.

How many Conjurers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just keep shaking their stick at it casting 'Raise'

How many Archers does it take to change a light bulb?
Eww, No! That's a Pugilists job.

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I don't get this at all. >_>

Don't have any jokes, but watching the same Lalafell die multiple times is always funny. :D

A Lalafell came home from questing one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed.

'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', said the Lalafell.

'I'm going to Ul'Dah, said the wife, 'I just found out I can get $400 a night for what I give you for free!

'The Lalafell said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand.

'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife.

The Lalafell said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on $800 a year!'

There were two Lalafell's in Ul'dah one weekend. Despite their best efforts gambling on the Gladiator fights they weren’t really winning anything and soon became bored.
One said to the other, “Why don’t we get a couple of Miqo'te dancers for the night?”
“Good idea!” The other one said.
So, a brief visit to the Miners guild later with a Miqo'te each, went into their hotels rooms.
One of the Lalafell was getting frustrated, so he kicked the girl out. Since he had nothing better to do, he decided to eavesdrop on his friend.
Taking a glass, and placing it up to the wall. He heard, “One, two, three, Uh! One, two, three, Uh!"
Next morning, the two friends were at the bar in the Quicksands. “So, how was it last night?” inquired one.
“Aww, the Miqo'te wasn’t doing anything for me, so I kicked her out. But I over heard you guys last night; sounded like you were having a lot of fun.”
The first replied, “Man, are you kidding?! I couldn’t even get on top of the bed!”

One day, an Elezen man in Limsa Lominsa was out mingling in the wards and gambling, like he did on many days. He all of a sudden won the largest jackpot anyone in the town had witnessed; 500 million gil. He screamed in excitement, jumping up and down. Running home, with a smile from ear to ear. He Burst through the door of his home, full of glee and said
"HONEY, HONEY, pack your bags, I just hit the largest jackpot anyone has heard of!!!!!"
the wife got excited, hugged him and said with joy "Oh My, where are we going? Should I pack warm weather clothes? To possibly visit the beautiful city of Ul'dah? Or wait!!! Should I pack clothes more fit for a colder and rainier climate? I've always wanted to see the elegant city of Gridania!!!"
the husband replied "I don't care what you pack, just get the F*@k out!!!"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Ceska_Zbrojovka

There were two Lalafell's in Ul'dah one weekend. Despite their best efforts gambling on the Gladiator fights they weren’t really winning anything and soon became bored.
One said to the other, “Why don’t we get a couple of Miqo'te dancers for the night?”
“Good idea!” The other one said.
So, a brief visit to the Miners guild later with a Miqo'te each, went into their hotels rooms.
One of the Lalafell was getting frustrated, so he kicked the girl out. Since he had nothing better to do, he decided to eavesdrop on his friend.
Taking a glass, and placing it up to the wall. He heard, “One, two, three, Uh! One, two, three, Uh!"
Next morning, the two friends were at the bar in the Quicksands. “So, how was it last night?” inquired one.
“Aww, the Miqo'te wasn’t doing anything for me, so I kicked her out. But I over heard you guys last night; sounded like you were having a lot of fun.”
The first replied, “Man, are you kidding?! I couldn’t even get on top of the bed!”

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heh, good one.

It should be noted that taking common jokes and simply subbing in Final Fantasy terms as many are doing here does does make it Eorzean humor...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Dreamer

It should be noted that taking common jokes and simply subbing in Final Fantasy terms as many are doing here does does make it Eorzean humor...

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^
the grinch

The op approves.