Entitled DPS, please stop being entitled

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Originally Posted by Adire

Please elaborate?

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You interpreted a statement as a demand. The statement was extremely unclear and offered no tone to analyze, but instead of seeking clarification or engaging in a dialogue you instead engaged in passive aggressive behavior then threw a tantrum when it blew up in your face.

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Originally Posted by Intaki

You interpreted a statement as a demand. The statement was extremely unclear and offered no tone to analyze, but instead of seeking clarification or engaging in a dialogue you instead engaged in passive aggressive behavior then threw a tantrum when it blew up in your face.

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Please refer to GenJoe's post. Also, please refer to the many posts, even from people criticizing me, who think that the DPS shouldn't have demanded of me. "no skipping anything" has a strong demanding tone to it. The actions of the person afterwards reinforces that it does.

I really don't know what to tell you if you don't think it has a demanding tone. I certainly didn't "want" to see it as a demanding tone...but did, because it, well, quite frankly, is a demanding tone...

And is it really that hard to say please?

I also don't really see what else I could have done to be better in my response to it.

I gave him a chance to treat me like a human being, and gave him a compromise. Just because I didn't immediately follow his order, submit to him, and go get the mobs and ask him how high he'd like me to jump doesn't make me a bad person. We gave plenty of signs that we'd be willing to give him what he wanted had he acted like a decent person instead of a neanderthal incapable of speaking like a civilized person, including helping him to kill the mobs he had so rudely pulled to enforce his demand upon us.

Thank you for clarifying and I apologize for the misunderstanding.

What can be learned here from this hell-spiraled topic is...and what is one of the biggest problems in this game is:
Communication.
Now, reading OP's post, she says that the DPS said "Don't skip anything." Okay if I was a tank I'd ignore him or kick him because his attitude only got worse.
People need to learn to be nice. I can't tolerate people being mean to me and crap in dungeons.
You don't tell me to do anything unless you ask me politely.
"Can we please do a full run please? ^^" If I get a damn smiley I'll do it. It's all on how you approach people. I don't see why people are fighting with the OP.
If a tank doesn't wanna do full clear...Oh well? I mean I guess you either deal with it or leave. Go level a tank then. We all follow the beat of your drum most of the time. In the matter of full run or exp run. No real choice lol.
The only thing I see is that, it's not that huge of a deal and you should of just forgot about it. You can see that releasing your feelings
here on the main forums will get you sent to the stake real quick or you'll become victim to the Logic Fallacy of AD Hominem.

TL;DR: The DPS in this situation was an a**butt, he didn't get his way, started to pull mobs like a baby, OP try to go along, still went to be a baby and then hell happened.
It's DF you get bads and hard-heads everywhere. I just wanted to join the topic since everyone was talking about it.
Bye! Lol.

No need to apologize Mugiawara :) that post was one of the easier ones to misunderstand, even if read thoroughly and thought deeply about.

I find it refreshing that you posted with civility even though you didn't like the post as you had understood it, so thank you for that and for being understanding. So many have resorted to personal jabs immediately :/

Glad we agree, no one should have to tolerate being demanded of or being treated like an object.

Edit: And yeah, I should really stop posting about these situations on the forums. There are some very ready to pounce people here.

Whoa, whoa, whoa... Hold on there, Tanking Friend.

I understand that the Tank in a run has the choice in the matter of what to pull and what not, this much is true as you stated.

However, we gotta stop and look at the actions taken.

Yes, just outright saying "no skipping anything" is rude and demanding.

-Walks up to her and pokes her right in the middle of the breastplate- But what was done about it?

-Takes out her sword and shield and throws it to the ground- The comment was dropped like a bass beat, or much like my weapons here, and the whole run was now in jeopardy because egos got in the way.

If the DPS had been asked, hell... even in a sarcastic way, to just add in a please or to reword their request, I'm sure things would have been straightened out.

But the fact that their request was flat out ignored and that egos got in the way...

It's obvious where the blame should mostly go.

We didn't ignore their request otarolgam :/

Though I will say looking back, I should have asked him to rephrase that demand and make it a request. Didn't think about it at the time, can't do anything about that now. Though judging by their reactions after, and the type of person it takes to make a demand of someone rather than a request of them, I'm not so confident he would have been mature enough to do so. Obnoxious people aren't known for being reasonable or admitting fault after all.

We killed the mobs he pulled the first time though, gave them the option to AoE but continue being jerks, so we did give him options. He told us no and threatened us, saying he would only accept a full clear with no AoE. We did not ignore their request, they ignored what we wanted though.

Why should I shoulder most of the blame when I was the one willing to compromise?

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Originally Posted by Adire

"no skipping anything" is a demand. Following suit by immediately pulling mobs upon suspicion that I was not going listen to the demand reinforces the fact that it was intended to be used in a demanding manner, as does the response to my request that the DPS AoE.

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Nope its a statement. If he had said "do not skip anything" that would be a demand. He didn't ask or demand.

You already said you went in there with the intention of skipping and started skipping with out saying anything. Then he started pulling optional mobs. At that point I highly doubt you politely asked him to aoe. It was more than likely a demand on your part.
Your compromise was basically "play the way I want you to play and be a good little boy and I might go back"

Basically he hit a nerve from the get go and you turned an iffy situation into a volatile one.

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Originally Posted by Adire

Why should I shoulder most of the blame when I was the one willing to compromise?

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You shouldn't but you shouldn't claim innocence in the issue either. It takes 2 to tango he rubbed you wrong and then you proceeded to rub him wrong and the whole thing went south.

And I have read every post you made in this thread pre and post edits.

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Originally Posted by Tuathaa

snip.

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It is a statement with a strong demanding tone. Many people have agreed on that already. Please refer to GenJoe's post.

Also, please quote where I said I had the intention to or were unwilling to not skip everything. If I had, why would I have offered him compromise in the first place? I pulled the first two sets of mobs without saying anything, yes, but I picked up the mobs he pulled and offered him a compromise during the fight with those mobs. I saw his demand, refused to follow his order until I figured out how he was going to treat me, and "righted my wrong" so to speak when I helped him out with the extra mobs he pulled.

Was my initial quietness rebellious? Yes, partly in reality. Fully in his eyes possibly. But against a demand, is it unreasonable? No. Is helping him with the mobs he pulled rebellious? No, it's a very reasonable thing to do. Is offering him compromise rebellious? Nope.

I also can't prove that we asked, rather than demanded, that he AoE. Assuming that I was unreasonable about it when I've said many times in this thread that I don't mind doing clears seems to be the worst assumption you could make though. Add to that that we helped him kill the mobs he pulled, and it should give you even more insight into my intent. That intent being that we were willing to compromise. Had I let him tank the mobs? That would have been a different story, sure. But I picked them up for him.

My compromise was basically "Please AoE so that this clear we are about to do for you doesn't take an agonizingly long time for us." Please do not put words into my mouth, Tuathaa. You seem to have a real bias against me here. Why? I don't know, but you are spinning things I've said into the wrong meanings.

We were there to get the dungeon done ASAP. When the healer is wanting a clear and a dps is willing to pull if you don't, it's pretty obvious that going along with the clear will make the dungeon go faster than standing around arguing about it, trying to not do a clear and being left to die, and letting dps pull and cause problems. I am not an idiot.

You are making a lot irrational assumptions that have no basis about me here.

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Originally Posted by Tuathaa

You shouldn't but you shouldn't claim innocence in the issue either. It takes 2 to tango he rubbed you wrong and then you proceeded to rub him wrong and the whole thing went south.

And I have read every post you made in this thread pre and post edits.

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It doesn't take two people to have an uncompromising, demanding, entitled person in the group, however.

With the exception of maybe immediately responding to him (I've already addressed why I didn't), I tried what I could to salvage this run.

Edit: Me saying "Why should I have to shoulder most of the blame" was referring to otarolgam saying I should by the way, not referring to your post. Just clarifying!

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Originally Posted by Adire

Also, please quote where I said I had the intention to or were unwilling to not skip everything. If I had, why would I have offered him compromise in the first place?

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by Adire

Being the rebel I am, and the fact that my friend just needed the dungeon done asap (and I'm the tank, so obviously the game is designed for me to lead the pace of the dungeon), and the fact that he demanded I bow to his whims rather than ask me to, I pulled the first room into the crystal buff.

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I dunno if this should qualify for the question... It just sorta popped out at me.