What's the most hilarious ingame joke you've encountered?

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Originally Posted by Ilenya

Not a joke, but still...

"I swear, if I painted "CERTAIN DEATH" on one door and "LIMITLESS WEALTH" on another, nine out of ten adventurers would go through the first, and the other bloke wouldn't be able to choose, on account of bein' Ul'dahn."

Ah, Momodi.

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ahhh yes Momodi and then you also see her chewing out a new adventurer in the EXACT same way she chews you out... gotta love her... btw I loved reading her text for that. It was priceless.

"What say you come over to my bunk, squire?"

Just noticed this one--sometimes I'm a little slow. You may remember a beginner learn-the-city quest in Limsa Lominsa that had you doing a series of emotes to an angry pirate in a small bar. The *female* leader of a gang of all-women pirates. The name of the bar? The Missing Member. Ooooookay....

Goldmember. Nuff said.

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Originally Posted by Enkidoh

Actually, it's more an example of dark humour, given the fact Camp Drybone and it's inn are right next to a graveyard, a place of literal 'eternal sleep' (and for that matter, one of the guests in the inn is actually lying dead on his bed with his wife grief striken and a priest administering last rites.

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I completely forgot its next to a graveyard xD
Making me like it even more lol

Does running into a player named Eren Jaeger while lfg for titan (hard) count?

The Fate in Costa Del Sol that has you escort a scantly clad Mi'qote girl to her "customer", gave me a chuckle.

Had an odd chat text bug that I think some of you might find funny. It was shortly after I had done a fate for one of my lower level classes near footfalls randomly, then jumped on my companion chocobo to ride to Waking Sands. In the chat box, it suddenly read "Sun Midge Swarm has mounted Companion Chocobo"

I was a bit confused. Kinda expected to be chased by a lovestruck swarm at that moment.

The drug cave in Central Thanlan. You got potted plants in the back and a human telling little lalafell's "Remember to tell them the first pinch is on you."

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Originally Posted by slakyak

Fingers crossed for some more Monty fun if Dark Knight ever comes... "I'm invincible" "You're a loony" etc.

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There is a part somewhere where one soldier tells another that he's injured, and the other replies, "it's just a flesh wound". Can't remember when or where it happens but it's there somewhere.

Also, the quest in the southern camp in southern thanalan when you have to get rid of the guys peeping on the two bathing miqo'te, if you complete that as a female character, one of them tells you, "i'd much prefer to bath with you rather than any of those guys, bet you didn't think I swung that way did you?". Certainly didn't see that coming.

I remember an 'over 9000' reference somewhere too, can't remember if it was a leve or anything though.

The guildmaster of the blacksmiths guild says some funny things for class quests too, like when he gets you to make some hammers and he says something like, "the last thing you want is for your bloody hammer to fly off the handle into some poor sods ale."

Great Goobue Wall of Ul'Dah!

I got some massive kicks out of the level 5 La Noscean leve "Red Stead Redemption". There are just too many of 'em out there!

I have a fondness for the badass Hunberct Longhaft and his 2 NPC's who handle his "lever".

I got a kick out of the main story quest name "Rock the Castrum".

Inside the mining guild there is a massive female galka named "wide gulley" makes me giggle.

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Originally Posted by poh

Inside the mining guild there is a massive female galka named "wide gulley" makes me giggle.

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Er, that's a guy (and a Roegadyn; we're not in Vana'diel anymore, Toto). He actually figures very prominently in the Miner class quests; he's the son of an important mining corporation owner and your main rival in the Miners' Guild.

For me its the lame Star Trek joke when you first fly the Enterprise.

For me it was the bathing cat girls quest in Southern Thanalan :D
http://img2.finalfantasyxiv.com/acci...8a44db6aeb.jpg

Inside the mining guild there is a massive female galka named "wide gulley" makes me giggle.

I cant remember if it was the level 10 or 15 quest for the fishing guild where the guildmaster quotes his uncle, "Fishing is a lot like philandering, you never know what you're going to catch.". I laughed way too hard the first time I read that.

I'm not going to read all the pages but there is a miner leve quest name Crystal Mess.

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Originally Posted by Sylentmana

It's probably just me, but I found a line of dialogue in the main quest funny.
Its the part where you have to chase down and fight the Wood Wailer who has been conspiring with the Garleans. I play as a female Miqo'te and the traitor referred to me as "the Miqo'te b*tch." It made me chuckle because Miqo'te are feline, not canine.
Its stupid dry humor that gets me the most.

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I found it funny too. :3
http://i200.photobucket.com/albums/a...psacad94b8.jpg

Taken from: http://www.reddit.com/r/ffxiv/commen...ut_of_context/

http://i.imgur.com/DPtTcdm.png

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Originally Posted by Farah

I found it funny too. :3
http://i200.photobucket.com/albums/a...psacad94b8.jpg

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IzmLFEC014A

Replace A-hole with bitch and you get the general idea of how I responded to that :V

My personal favorite...

Smallshell

Summon your smallshell minion. The mere sight of this wee wavekin may cause severe psychological trauma to those who spent years of their lives on faraway shores culling his relatives.

Any old guard veteran of FFXI should recognize what this is about.

I like the fate in the black shroud where you have to Break up a bar fight lol.

O and the fate Inspector Hatchet lol

That "Report Cheating" button in the Support Desk.

Sisipu in either the level 10 or 15 fisher quest.

"It's the eye of the fisher, it's the thrill of the bait. Rising up to meet the challenge of our rivals..."

What about the 1.0 Quest for Miner, "Get to the Copper!"

thank you for this thread, I laughed my toosh off - the attention to detail in the game is awesome <3

"The Grey" Fate in Camp Dragonhead X3 It made me lol since it involved giant wolves lol.

Also for the Bard quest where he mentions about its believed he got shot with an arrow to the knee. lol

Gigi, the mammet from the GSM guild, takes the cake.

UtTeR gArBaGe. ThE wOrSt. NoT eVeN fIt FoR a ChAmBeR pOt.

Kneel before, Gigi, the one true guildmaster. Respect my authority, ignorant mortal, or suffer my wrath.

Bugger off, greenhorn.



As for the Highbridge threesome:

The captain sometimes allows me to operate his lever. Says I’m a right engineer, he does. - E’lahmul Ruby-eyes.

My unit is not unlike a machine. Each part interlocking, and running best when well oiled… if you know what I mean. If you are looking to join, well I’m afraid I must disappoint. Another hand on the lever is the last thing I need. - Humberct Longhaft

Another victory under the captain’s belt. And there are quite a few victories under there. I know. I’ve seen them. - E’tajha Sapphire-eyes

"Ain't nobody got time for rats."

Thanalan/Highbridge: The "LongHaft" guy on top of Highbridge who participates in the multi part FATE, his dialog with the twin female Miqote soldiers regarding his "lever" is naughty and hilarious.

There is also a horny Lalafell in one of the guilds I cannot remember which one but the guildmaster keeps scolding him for his womanizing.

Aleport or Moraby: A quest where two Roe brothers, one is a gate guard, are fighting over a female Roe Sgt, their dialog about eachother is funny.

Costa del Sol: the FATE where you guide the dancer back home, only to get [_spoiler_] at the end. Its hilarious finding out what you just took part in facilitating. The general questing with the dancers and staff there is all really entertaining.

Little ala Mihigo in the springs camp area: A bunch of shirtless soldiers are doing drills for their SGT while standing in a pond in a cave. If you walk past them they stop and pose for you, stare you down hard and talk about it. It creeped me out because I tend to jokingly do /stretch whenever I see NPC's doing drills for their Sgts but they surprised me. It felt like one of those hidden camera props where they leave something odd and watch ppl's reactions.. felt as if the devs were playing this kind of trick on me.

My fav of course is the dialog of the peeping toms watching the miqo'te females bathe. Their excuses when you dispatch them.

Limsa: Also everything the carpenter guild master says when you do your quests.

The Woodworking Guildmaster's Name

'Master Beatin'....with a name like that it figures HE likes playing with wood....

Kinda find the little Lalafell guy in Aleport with a quest for you. At one point, his idle animation... is him.... caressing a Miqo'te's butt.

The WHM job quest "Only You Can Prevent Forest Ire"

http://www.dec.ny.gov/images/adminis...009smokey4.jpg

Though I'm sure the joke is lost on Europeans...

While not particularly hilarious, I found this to be a nod to Final Fantasy Tactics.

http://i.imgur.com/3QCIvuz.png

http://i.imgur.com/7DwKe2O.png

The method used to report a player using a cheating program or exploit. It's like they know their game is going to be abused.