This honestly is a tricky subject because it depends on how long they have been on hormones. If they go on blockers early this is a non issue since they will develop just like biological women and once they start hormones even after maturity, their bodies change drastically given enough time. The reason this is such a big deal now is because it seems like it has to be across the board or none at all.
And while I agree they were not concerned about being seen as actual women, in my experiences, that is how they referred to themselves and how they lived their lives. Even using the ladies room instead of the mens. They did not, however, have meltdowns if you accidently used their dead name or the wrong pronoun, esp if it was by accident. Hell we all used various pronouns for each other. Other gays were he or she, lesbians were she or he. No one cared, and still rarely do in the case of us older generations of gay, but only if they are not chronically online. My best friend growing up was not only trans, but also black, which just led to a lot more trans and black friends. While I do not know their struggles first hand, I have seen many of them from an outside, yet more personal perspective, so I do what I can with the knowledge I've gained while recognizing that it is an outside perspective.
A lot of ppl are cut off from reality is my main point though. Saying it's a problem in the trans community and making it sound only like a problem in the trans community is a big issue that needs to be addressed. It's a problem with ppl in all groups and we need to start learning how to sift through the bs, the pseudoscience, the false narratives that are everywhere online drowning out reality.
