Seems like a mistake to be frank. The healer thought the tanks would have pulled by the time it exploded.
You're making a mountain out of a mole hill.
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That would have been a /sit from me or I would of left without saying a word because I'm petty. I'd rather just eat the 30 minute penalty then deal with backseat tanks.
As was explained earlier, regen/healing will draw aggro to you regardless of where you're standing. (Including MP/TP regen from AST's cards, if I remember correctly.)
So there are two elements to dealing with this:
1. Never cast Regen pre-emptively - wait until the tank has the attention of all enemies and their names have turned red. Same for healing spells. Or if you really need to heal them, be aware that any yellow-named enemies will be drawn away from the tank by it.
2. If there is a "leftover" regen still active from the previous fight, and the tank is approaching a new group of enemies... stay close to them! They will go for you as soon as the tank pulls them, so if you stay near the tank, the tank won't have to chase after the enemies when they go off in different direction to what was wxpected.
My view on healers pulling is that if the healer pulls, they are responsible for what happens. It may be seen as rude by some people, since it kind of forces others to go at your pace. But similarly, if the tank is a slowpoke, they're forcing the group to their pace too.
So if the healer pulls, they are responsible. If they know most of the party will fall in behind them, and they want to go faster, they can selfishly make that call. The ones that wanted to take it easy will silently curse them, and the ones that were just as frustrated that the tank was sitting around doing nothing will silently praise them.
Ultimately, if it's a pug, the de facto leader is the one people follow. By default, it's usually a tank. But it doesn't have to be.
So, for Earthly Star in particular it can be a good idea for the AST to prep it, so it's powered up and ready to go early, but this does mean they need to communicate with the tank and the pull needs to happen in time.
Pulling is tank's job.
You pull it, you tank it (especially in 24 mans raid, when tank might be waiting for everyone to be ready)
It's easier just to do a 5 second countdown on 24 man raid trash, if the tanks are that slow.
AST probably expected them to pull a lot sooner than they did. If anything, sounds like the tank was being too slow (I don't think there are any cutscenes to wait for in the middle of Orbonne).
When the star expires and explodes before a tank pulls...holy jesus christ. I hate it when people play tanks and then refuse to do their job aka tanking. IF the star just expired and pulled because of that its not his fault because you can't see that far into the future and know that the tanks will play the game of chicken again.
My philosophy is simple. If you're not a tank you shouldn't pull. If you pull it obviously means you want to tank. If the tank is taking too long to pull then ask them why. Don't just pull as if you're the tank.